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Desperately seeking softeners

And I’m not talking about the kind you use for fabric.

(Also, I’m sorry to be talking about this again. But…I can’t NOT.)

People, I am hellbent on a VBAC. Hellbent, I say. And I will do anything in my power to make this happen when the time comes for this child to make an appearance.

But I feel like I have given birth forty times already and I’ve never even given birth (vaginally) once.

When nature calls, I brace myself for…well, for what I imagine labor feels like.

I grip whatever is nearby–a countertop, the wall-mounted tissue dispenser, a handicapped stall railing (yes, I’m that person). I grab hold and I bear down and push. I count. I breathe. Sometimes like they do in the movies: “hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo.” I rest. And then I push again.

There is that moment where I think I cannot go any further. I cannot possibly push again. I will be stuck on the toilet for the rest of my life while halfway done with my business and that’s okay because I’

Then I feel it. That moment where there’s a bit of strength (or air pressure) that builds up within me. That moment happens. And I hear a rally cry in my head. “You can do this, Miranda! You’ve got this!”

I brace myself for one final push. I will myself to give it just one more shot.

And then it happens. That glorious moment where it is out and I am free and I exhale and want to collapse right off the toilet, completely spent from the battle that has just been fought with my colon.

Is that what it’s like, people? Because if it is I am ready. (Except I’m totally not ready in any other way except for this one.)

Also? Colace should sponsor me.

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Mama, Hear Me Roar

Friday 16th of September 2011

Oh dear, I can feel your pain .... Lots of prunes, water water water and papayas help!


Friday 16th of September 2011

I don't have much advice, other than follow @MsDee_NYC on Twitter . . . she's a midwife who knows a whole lot about VBAC.

And eat your fiber. Hard.

Jenn @ Middle of Mommyhood

Thursday 15th of September 2011

Miralax and Fiber One Chewy Bars (in chocolate flavor, duh). I'm not the best person to ask about this whole pushing thing, what with the three vaginal births and less than ten actual pushes total between all of them. However, I will say that it felt a little different in that I felt like the babies were coming out NOW instead of that feeling that they were never in a million years going to budge. Crapping was so much harder than giving birth for me. Give me childbirth anytime over pregnancy poops (or the lack thereof).

Devan @ Accustomed Chaos

Wednesday 14th of September 2011

water water water water & even more water. it will be your best friend during pregnancy & after too.


Wednesday 14th of September 2011

I have always said, labor reminded me of the worst constipation I had back in college (I went to the ER the pain was so bad!).


Wednesday 14th of September 2011

When my mom was going through chemo and radiation she ate FiberPlus bars. They make eggo waffles with a Fiber Plus brand too. Both are really good too! Promise!

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