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Going back

The day that test came up positive, I formed a bullet list in my mind of the things I wanted to do before the new baby arrived. Things we should’ve done as a family of three and either couldn’t afford or didn’t take time to do. Now that we’re on a short supply of time (and money, if we’re being honest, as the thought of paying for two kids to attend daycare stretches our budget that much more), I feel pressed to get these things done.

Number one on my list was take a vacation with just the three of us. I think I’d only known I was pregnant for about four hours when I sent Dan a message and said “Before this baby comes, we are taking a vacation. The three of us.” And he said, simply, “cool.”

I want to have the memories and the pictures and the video of the three of us (or just Joshua, since I’m not feeling incredibly photogenic these days) somewhere not here.

I don’t know why I crave this so much. Why I feel like I need it.

But because I need this, and because my family needs this, we made reservations to return to the place where I knew things would work out. The place where I knew we’d be a family of three someday. And as much as I’m terrified of traveling with a toddler, especially my toddler who is stubborn and set in his routine, we need this.

I’ve accepted the fact that this pregnancy is happening. Now I’m trying to find the joy in that thought.

So, we’re going back and I’m going to look at the stars in that place that gave me so much comfort three summers ago.

To stare at those stars.

To listen.

To hope.

To know that this is going to be okay.

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Thursday 22nd of September 2011

I hope the trip is full of love and healing for you. Enjoy!


Monday 19th of September 2011

Enjoy this, Miranda. With the way things happened around us, we never got the "just with CJ" thing. I will always wonder if I'm stripping him of being the "only kid" in life.

Enjoy the three of you, immensely. It will let you enjoy the four of you even more.

Hopes@Staying Afloat!

Sunday 18th of September 2011

I think that's fantastic! I hope you guys have a great time and make wonderful memories!!

Margaret (@goodbadfamily)

Sunday 18th of September 2011

This means you are accutely aware that the face of your family is changing. Great idea to take a vacation with just the 3 of you. This won't happen again. Make it special and let your toddler know it's a special trip JUST FOR HIM! he'll love having the focus on him!

Margaret (@goodbadfamily)


Saturday 17th of September 2011

I think that's a great idea, Miranda. We went on a vacation with the three of us. But it was also with my entire extended family and I got a flu bug and barfed most the time. GO DISNEYWORLD!

I wish we could have afforded a trip with the hubs and me, actually. But I really do hope you have fun and make lots of memories.

Because traveling with TWO children? Yeah, we haven't even attempted that hot mess yet.

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