Thank you for the excitement yesterday! To say that I’m over the moon is maybe an understatement. I mean, RUFFLES, people!
But that’s not really what I’m here to talk about right this second.
No, what I need to talk about is my nose.
Yes. My nose.
I spent the entire first trimester (or most of it) unable to breathe through my nose. I took cold medicine. I used nose spray. I used saline. I took hot showers and relied on the steam to open my passages. I used Vicks Vapo-rub (up my nose!) to be able to breathe. And then I guess I “grew out of it.” Or something.
So now I can breathe.
Here’s the thing about my new(ish)found sense of smell.
Everything smells the same.
And that “same” is the smell of smoke.
Cigarette smoke to be exact.
No one who lives in this house smokes unless the dog has sprouted opposable thumbs and is lighting up while we’re at work. I thought that perhaps the wind was blowing the cigarette smoke from the neighbor’s house (half a football field away) and it was somehow getting sucked into my house’s exhaust system and I was smelling it because I have Super Snout right now.
But then I smelled it at the doctor’s office yesterday. And all day at school today.
Smoke. Up my nose.
There is no reason the smell of cigarette smoke should be perma-bound to my nose hairs. And yet it is. And it is disgusting and freaking me out. And annoying.
I’ve showered. It’s still there.
I’ve lit candles. It’s still there.
Occasionally, I get a temporary reprieve from the ashtray up my nose and I smell the languishing flowers from Thanksgiving. But that lasts about 10 seconds and the smoke smell overwhelms me yet again.
I’m afraid to Google this because Google will tell me I’m dying. Or giving birth to an elephant. Or a dog. Or one of those truffle pigs.
But this is maddening. And I forgot to ask the real doctor yesterday because GIRLPARTS! and RUFFLES!
So, former pregnant people, current pregnant people, or people who just know more than me in general, what is this?
WHY is this?
SAVE MY NOSE. Please.