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I’ll take “Things that are weird” for $200, Alex

Thank you for the excitement yesterday! To say that I’m over the moon is maybe an understatement. I mean, RUFFLES, people!

But that’s not really what I’m here to talk about right this second.

No, what I need to talk about is my nose.

Yes. My nose.

I spent the entire first trimester (or most of it) unable to breathe through my nose. I took cold medicine. I used nose spray. I used saline. I took hot showers and relied on the steam to open my passages. I used Vicks Vapo-rub (up my nose!) to be able to breathe. And then I guess I “grew out of it.” Or something.

So now I can breathe.

Hooray, right?

Sort of.

Here’s the thing about my new(ish)found sense of smell.


Everything smells the same.

And that “same” is the smell of smoke.

Cigarette smoke to be exact.


No one who lives in this house smokes unless the dog has sprouted opposable thumbs and is lighting up while we’re at work. I thought that perhaps the wind was blowing the cigarette smoke from the neighbor’s house (half a football field away) and it was somehow getting sucked into my house’s exhaust system and I was smelling it because I have Super Snout right now.

But then I smelled it at the doctor’s office yesterday. And all day at school today.

Smoke. Up my nose.

There is no reason the smell of cigarette smoke should be perma-bound to my nose hairs. And yet it is. And it is disgusting and freaking me out. And annoying.

I’ve showered. It’s still there.

I’ve lit candles. It’s still there.

Occasionally, I get a temporary reprieve from the ashtray up my nose and I smell the languishing flowers from Thanksgiving. But that lasts about 10 seconds and the smoke smell overwhelms me yet again.

I’m afraid to Google this because Google will tell me I’m dying. Or giving birth to an elephant. Or a dog. Or one of those truffle pigs.

But this is maddening. And I forgot to ask the real doctor yesterday because GIRLPARTS! and RUFFLES!

So, former pregnant people, current pregnant people, or people who just know more than me in general, what is this?

WHY is this?


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Sunday 8th of January 2012

[...] wrote a while ago about my smoke nose. The chronic, disgusting, burning sensation that there is always someone smoking a cigarette in my [...]


Wednesday 14th of December 2011

I had that cigarette smoke nose going on a few times last winter and it was the start of a cold, for me. Nobody smokes at our house but my sister smokes and she lights up on the porch as she's walking outside. I walked behind her and got a nose full of smoke and was going crazy because I couldn't figure out why I was smelling it! But, then the cold came, and when it was over, I could smell again. Good luck at getting your sniffer working again!


Tuesday 6th of December 2011

Okay, I googled it. (Sorry! I couldn't help it!) and after sifting through the ridiculous answers I found a bunch of people who said it seemed to be related to reflux. Which I'm guessing you have some of these days? So Tums it up, mama. Hope it goes away.

Mungee's Ma

Thursday 1st of December 2011

I can't tell you what's causing that, sorry! Have you tried smelling coffee beans? Sometimes that takes away the smell of scented lotions and candles, maybe it will help. Hope you find some relief!


Monday 5th of December 2011

I think I'd have to carry them around with me or hook up a head-piece that just let them hang right under my nose. o_o The smoke smell is here all the time.


Thursday 1st of December 2011

smokey nose, eh?

yeah, I got nothing.

but RUFFLES!!!!

oh sorry...I got distracted.


Monday 5th of December 2011

Right? They're totally distracting.

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