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Tomorrow, I’ll be a better mom

July 16, 2011 by Miranda Leave a Comment

I’m a really bad mom today.

Bad not in the sense that I let him watch too much television (I do.) or eat too much junk food (I do.).

Bad in the sense that my anger is getting the best of me. My frustration is taking over. My words are being used too harshly.

Today is really awful.

Hard.

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And here I sit, alone, feeling sorry for me and for that little boy who deserves a mother who doesn’t get angry like this. Who doesn’t get frustrated like this. Who should be able to get over herself. Who shouldn’t act so childishly.

Today I’ve shouted. I’ve screamed. I’ve been angry. I slammed a door. I threw a tray.

I have not been a good role model and I know his little eyes are watching.

Tomorrow, I’ll be better.

Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: anxiety, confessions, I love my kid, mom guilt, mommyhood, reasons Joshua will need therapy someday, the universe is out to get me

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Comments

  1. TheNextMartha says

    July 16, 2011 at 12:19 pm

    Awe. We all have those days. I hope today ends in donuts.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 16, 2011 at 12:31 pm

      Can I soak them in rum? Or Bailey’s? That sounds divine.

      Reply
  2. Margaret says

    July 16, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    Guuuuuuuuuurl! Last week my kids thought we lived in Hiroshima with all the f-bombs I was droppin! I had a cortisone injection in my neck & subsequently couldn’t breast feed the baby. An idea he vehemently protested ALL NIGHT LONG! I got maybe 4 hours of sleep in two days! It was ugly! Just remember that your boy is like a puppy. They’ll forgive you because their love is bigger than your bad day! Hang in there!

    Margaret (@goodbadfamily)

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 16, 2011 at 1:13 pm

      I have to remember that about his love.

      Reply
  3. Melissa @ Completely Eclipsed says

    July 16, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    Unfortunately I’ve had my fair share of bad mom days. I think we all do. I know it’s counter productive to teach my daughter that throwing a tantrum is unacceptable by yelling and throwing a tantrum myself. I try to remember to parent in love and not anger, but when my two year old is screaming bloody murder in the mall because I won’t ride up the escalator for the 17th time, I have a hard time reigning in the anger even though I know I should. Tomorrow will be better.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 16, 2011 at 1:14 pm

      Today he was violently slamming himself back and forth in his high chair. I’d ask “Do you want more food?” SLAMSLAMSLAM. “Do you want to get down?” SLAMSLAMSLAM.

      Then he started slapping the tray and getting cranky. Which only meant things would get worse. And for whatever reason, that was it. I was DONE. Done.

      Tomorrow.

      Reply
  4. angela says

    July 16, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    I had to leave the library today, because my three year old was standing and screaming at the top of her lungs. It probably looked like I was kidnapping her as I football carried her out of there. I am fairly positive smoke came out of my ears.

    We all have those days. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Patience is my hardest thing.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 16, 2011 at 2:36 pm

      I had to do that to get him in his room. Actually, it was more like I picked him up and put him on my hip and he leaned back and then started laughing at me because the “ride” he was on was a fun one. It was most certainly not intended to be fun.

      Reply
  5. mummy@bodfortea says

    July 16, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Sorry to hear you had a bad day – I hate myself when I have days like that. I have zero patience at the moment. Try not to beat yourself up about it xx

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 16, 2011 at 7:50 pm

      My patience for today is fried. Completely.

      Reply
  6. Jessi says

    July 16, 2011 at 4:54 pm

    Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all have days like this. At least I do. You love your son and you’ll both be okay. Just breathe.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 16, 2011 at 7:51 pm

      I do love him. Tomorrow will be better.

      Reply
  7. Mrs. MidAtlantic says

    July 16, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    I had a similar day on Wednesday. I yelled so hard at one point I made my daughter cry.
    Give yourself a timeout and trust tomorrow will be better.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 17, 2011 at 8:01 am

      I yelled and he looked at me, stunned. And then I wanted to cry because I was yelling at a two year old about SLEEP. ๐Ÿ™

      Reply
  8. Jana A says

    July 16, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    Love you… tomorrow WILL be better.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 17, 2011 at 8:02 am

      Thank you, Jana. Today is already looking better than yesterday.

      Reply
  9. Alison@Mama Wants This says

    July 16, 2011 at 9:41 pm

    Tomorrow WILL be better.

    I know it won’t make you feel better but yesterday, I was a bad mom too. I chose my laptop over my son. Twitter over playing with him. For about 10 minutes. Then I realized he’s only small once and he won’t want my attention forever. I have to constantly remind myself of that.

    {{HUGS}}

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 17, 2011 at 8:03 am

      I do that sometimes. ๐Ÿ™ And you’re right. He WON’T want my attention forever.

      Thanks for the hugs.

      Reply
  10. Leighann says

    July 16, 2011 at 11:24 pm

    These days suck.
    But.
    Everyone has them.
    The best part of being human?
    We can be forgiven for our mistakes.
    Because…
    We’re human.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 17, 2011 at 8:04 am

      So true, Leighann. So true.

      Reply
  11. MamaRobinJ says

    July 17, 2011 at 2:01 am

    Many, many, many hugs. I have been there. Many, many, many times.

    There’s always tomorrow. xo

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 17, 2011 at 8:05 am

      Thank God for tomorrow.

      Reply
  12. story says

    July 17, 2011 at 8:37 am

    I read something once (so long ago, I don’t remember where) by a woman who had resolved to stop yelling at her husband and kids. Her secret in the end was that it isn’t about your character or self-discipline, it’s about your preparation and planning. Plan enough activities to keep your kids busy (sounds like my classroom management philosophy, eh?), plan margin time into your day in case you run behind, plan to get everyone (especially you!!) fed and rested before crankiness kicks in.

    It sounds so great in theory, but when you’re up all night and then home all day with a kid who’s throwing things at you, how do you plan for that? Hugs to you.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 17, 2011 at 9:19 pm

      Oh, I know the days when we have things planned are FAR better than the days when we don’t. No doubt about that.

      But yeah, when you’ve barely slept and you hardly have the energy to stand up long enough to shower, wow.

      Thanks for the hugs.

      Reply
  13. jess says

    July 17, 2011 at 9:37 am

    M it’s so easy to get frustrated. I feel this way daily. Some days I have a better handle on things than others, but nightly I feel sad thinking I’ve let this child who was my world for 5 years down by bringing in this new person who has changed everything. And it’s not fair to her because I should be able to handle it and it shouldn’t have to be at her expense.

    I’ve started to sometimes tell her I have to walk away. When she’s throwing a screaming fit and rationalizing is a joke, I tell her I am taking a mommy time out to calm down. Sometimes it helps. But it keeps me from yelling and the break is good.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 17, 2011 at 9:21 pm

      At one point, he was having a blast tearing through the clean laundry and unfolding everything and digging through the sorted laundry that has to be stored. And I just let him because it meant I got to lay on the bed and not.do.anything. That was my time out.

      Reply
  14. molly says

    July 17, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Hugs, sweetie. We all have them. As Scarlett O’Hara would say, “Tomorrow is another day.”

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 17, 2011 at 9:21 pm

      Today WAS another day. A better day. Just like I knew it would be.

      Reply
  15. Amy says

    July 17, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    your post couldn’t have come at a better time…
    i’m having one of those days too. to be honest, it’s been a few bad days…
    and i hate it. and i feel guilty, horribly guilty. and overwhelmed. and impatient.

    and sometimes i wonder what harm i’m doing to my children in the long run, seeing their mom like this.

    thank you for reminding me that today is a new day.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 17, 2011 at 9:25 pm

      Today is always a new day. Tomorrow is always new.

      Reply
  16. Dawana says

    July 17, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    Sweetie, I may be a bad mom everyday. Sometimes I wonder how I got this mom gig (I spread my legs, duh), then I think maybe God is punishing me for being an impatient, sh*tty mom by making it super hard for us to get pregnant the second time around. I don’t know… I yell, scream, cry- it’s never pretty. So, you are not alone.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      July 17, 2011 at 9:27 pm

      Sometimes days like that make me think that I don’t NEED to have anymore because I can barely handle being a mother to one.

      But I know that God’s not punishing you. I know it.

      Reply
  17. Holly says

    July 18, 2011 at 11:47 am

    I had the EXACT SAME DAY yesterday. And I felt horrible that all I wanted was for it to be bedtime so I could get away from it. And I looked forward to coming to work today, so I could have a break. And that makes me feel like a bad Mom.

    And when I woke up this morning? I was dreading DD waking up. And when she did? It was smiles & giggles, not a single cry in the hour she was awake before I dropped her off (even when I put her in the carseat – not a SINGLE CRY or SCREAM!!!). Like she had magically forgotten that I was a horrible mom yesterday.

    Kids are truly amazing.

    Reply
  18. Julie says

    July 18, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    I can identify with your day… often. Hugs to you and thank you for sharing because it helps to know I’m not the only one who has these days. And that it doesn’t make you or me a bad mom. It’s just one of those days.

    Reply
  19. Krista says

    July 19, 2011 at 8:30 am

    You and me both! I was that exact same Mom yesterday and the day before. The shouting, screaming, tears, and throwing of objects. Here’s hoping that today goes better for all of us! And hang in there, it happens to the best of us!

    Reply
  20. Rocky Mountain Mama says

    July 19, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    You are a good mom for being able to admit this. Being a mother is not easy and I often find myself in the same situation you just posted about. I don’t like it, but sometimes, it’s just really hard and frustrating. And toddlers? They have the will of a mule. I swear! You are an awesome mama! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  21. Katie says

    July 22, 2011 at 11:59 am

    sigh. I get this.

    hugs.

    Reply
  22. Mara says

    July 23, 2011 at 1:55 pm

    I once heard a quote that went something like this: “There is no one way to be a perfect mom, but a million ways to be a good one.” It helps me.

    Reply

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