I remember when the first of my friends got her period. She stayed out of school that day because she was so scared something would go wrong and she would end up embarrassed. 5th graders are brutal.
Middle schoolers are worse.
All of my friends had gotten their periods. I was a “late bloomer,” according to myself.
And then one summer it happened to me too, and I was excited. For the only (other) time in my life.
That fall I started 8th grade. Which meant the gifted trip to Washington D.C..
An entire week of not being in school! Of staying in a hotel room with my friends! Of being a mock-grown-up!
The morning before we left I started my period. Because that’s Murphy’s Law for 8th grade girls.
My Mama was afraid tampons would give me TSS and kill me and I really had no idea how often I should change a pad. Being that this was only my 5th time ever having a period, I had very little idea what I was doing at all and the only bathroom readily available to me anyway was the one on the bus.
Cool kids do not use charter bus bathrooms.
So I didn’t. And I kind of forgot I was even on my period because I was having such a good time laughing with my friends and not being at school. Until I laughed really hard and felt the accident happen.
This was a bad, bad accident to have on a bus when all of my clothes were trapped in the cargo area underneath.
I panicked in my head then leaned over to my best friend’s ear and said “I think I just…uh… Can you check for me?” She looked at my backside and back at me and her eyes were as big as baseballs.
It was bad, y’all.
So we both panicked and then she went to the front of the bus to tell our teachers what had happened. At which point, I’m sure they also panicked.
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Suddenly all three buses were pulling into a roadside rest stop and every single student was made to get off the bus. Except me.
I made my way into the on-bus bathroom to assess the damage. It was like I’d sat on a wet Rorshach test. A red one.
And I had to find a way to hide it for the rest of the day.
Enter the Starter Jacket.
(It was 1996. Starter jackets were cool and I desperately wanted to be cool. I needed a winter coat and Starter jackets were warm, so Mama bought me a Redskins jacket from a friend. He was an XXL. I was not. Why the Redskins? WHY NOT?
It was a Starter jacket.)
To say that it was too warm for that Redskins jacket is an understatement. Because I needed to cover my accident, I wore it into McDonalds and around Monticello, over my Mickey Mouse sweatshirt, thanking Jesus that the hem fell to my knees while pouring sweat.
Kids kept saying “Miranda, aren’t you hot? You’re sweating!” To which I replied, “Oh, I think I have a fever.” They just shrugged and took that as an acceptable reason for me to be wearing that jacket when it was 60 degrees out.
I made it to our hotel that night with no embarrassment. My peers were none the wiser. My jeans, however, were ruined.
That was 15 years ago. I still have no idea which Washington is home to the Redskins. I’m pretty certain they are a football team.
But trying to be cool saved my middle schooler life.
This week’s prompt was to write a memory of a school trip.
This one is a pretty big memory and is the reason why I still double up when the Lady Times are visiting.
And I have no idea what happened to the Starter jacket.
Oh no! I think every girl worries about some version of this story.
I love your details about your Mama, the red Rorshach test, the Mickey Mouse sweatshirt.
This line: “thanking Jesus that the hem fell to my knees while pouring sweat” made me spit out my coffee. So then there’s that.
I’m glad you’re okay and Go Redskins!
I can’t believe that I remember that sweatshirt, but I totally do. It was beige with Mickey embroidered in the middle. I had a pretty severe Disney phase and the combination of the Disney sweatshirt and the Redskins jacket just makes me see my hot-mess middle school self and laugh.
Oh my gosh! I think every girl has this fear. I had a little accident when I was in 7th grade. I had no idea what I was doing with changing pads either and, of course, I leaked.
Good thing for that Starter jacket though! And for such a sweet friend to help you out!
If I ever have a daughter, I’ll make sure she knows to change more frequently than I thought to change then.
Oh WoW! I think I might’ve died reading that…Not of laughter mind you, but of the sheer idea of it. I’ve had my fair share of similar stories but usually not too bad (only worse in my head) and never anything handy to hide said accident. Just a wing and prayer to get through. Which reminds me, I will definitely have my girls better informed when the time comes. I mean, a girl should really know the truth of it all, no?
Thank Goodness for Starter Jackets! (BTW Washington Redskins are football team in Maryland, I think. Or maybe you were being sarcastic and knew that?)
LOL. I was totally not being sarcastic. I think I’ve been told where they’re located a time or two before, but I NEVER REMEMBER. Ever. Because it just doesn’t make sense to me!
And yes, they should know the truth of it all.
ughh i had that kind of accident in 6th grade gym and found out when the boy across from me nicely pointed it out doing stretches.. mortified..
ACK! After we had the boy-girl separated sex ed classes, the boys would outright ask “Hey, so-and-so, are you on your period?” And we’d be all “NOOO!!! HOW DARE YOU!?!”
MIDDLE SCHOOLERS.
Oh gosh, yes, I used to check myself ALL the time in school. I’ve had a couple of small leaks with no starter jackets to help me out. Thank goodness I was in an all-girls school. Leaks were common LOL.
That’s a perk of all-girls schools, I’d imagine.
Oh, you are so much braver than I too look back and be able to share this with us all! The touch of humor and light hearted tone make it easier to bear. My own similar memories still leave me completely mortified!
My daughter is going to start any second now. She’s 12, and we’ve talked about it quite a bit, we’re just awaiting the actual event.
I’m braver or stupid. Your pick!
Teach her how to use a tampon. Remember this story and do it for me.
To this very day this is still one of my fears! Seriously…. you never know when an accident is going to happen!
It sounds like you did a pretty good job of covering up your mishap. Didn’t anyone ask why they all had to get off the bus and you didn’t?
You totally never know. I think they all just thought I was coming after them and then I didn’t and my friend covered for me. But honestly? I have no idea what they thought about why I wasn’t off the bus.
Mort-i-fying. Especially at that young age. I’m glad you managed to escape unscathed but I can see how this would haunt you enough to double up from then on out. I do, because I went through a heavy phase (BAD) and have never gotten over that fear.
Just another thing that binds us women together!
Mine was heavy until after I had Joshua. Really heavy. I was constantly afraid there would be accidents after that and I’m still paranoid.
After a similar unfortunate accident in 6th grade, I always had a sweater/jacket tied around my waist. Luckily it was the 90’s and it was cool to do so. Maybe it was only cool though because all the other girls had the same fears?
Maybe that IS why we all kept jackets to tie around our waists…
Oh my goodness Miranda! I’ve always been paranoid about that too. To this day I always wear black on those days.
I had no idea that this would happen! Not. At. All.
Now I’m way smarter. Way.
Oh my god – I’m going to respond to your other posts in a sec but I so needed to read this right now. I’m dying laughing. Because I know exactly what that’s like. The image of all the buses pulling over and everyone getting off except you – MORTIFYING. I’m so sorry that happened to you but I love you for sharing it.
PS I was a later bloomer than that. Shh…
I said I was a late bloomer according to myself. And only according to me. And after that incident I was cursing the day I ever thought I wanted to start my period.
Oh, I know. I always just felt like an especially late bloomer. Which, looking back, I don’t regret!
The rorshach test description was hilarious – and also, spot on! So to speak.
I had this happen to me at a high school graduation. I was in the band at the time and was wearing mint-green pants (it was the 80s) and omg. Not. Pretty.
Also, I was the last of my friends to get “it,” and I was 12. And in eighth grade. Sigh.
Heheh. And mortifying. We had to wear white dresses and white gowns as honor graduates from my high school. Talk about a recipe for female disaster!
This is like reason #13 that I’m happy to have a penis . . . I can totally see myself enjoying the company that I was with and the same thing happening. I still remember a female friend, wearing white sweat pants for marching band practice, demanding that I take off my flannel shirt (it was the 90’s) and give it to her when her period came a week early.
Only reason #13? I’d imagine the horrors of a period would higher up there on the list! LOL
Way to be a good friend to a mortified female, too!