I’d like to say that I’m rocking this temporary SAHM thing. But I’m totally not. This is about as natural to me as peeing standing up and not having it run down my leg. Which is to say it’s just not natural at all.
And today was not fantastic. At all. Not even a little bit. (Until I opened a bottle of wine. And then it got better.)
I always have high hopes for summer break. I’m always all “Oh, we are just going to have such an amazing time!” And then the summer gets here and Joshua decides to wake up twice a night AND get up at 6:30 in the morning AND be cranky and unreasonable and I?
Wish I were at work.
Only I don’t wish I was at work because then there’d be essays to grade and grammar to teach and I’d miss my kid because he’s calling his teacher at school “Mama” and I’d be all “WHY CAN’T I JUST BE AT HOME!?!?!?”
Quite the conundrum, no?
Dan says I’ve been really cranky when he comes home which is making him get all antsy before he gets here because he expects I’m going to be in a bad mood. I think I only have one or two of those days a week and he’s being ridiculous about the fact that I’m always in a bad mood when he gets here.
In reality? I’m probably in a bad mood as often as I’m in a good one. Which is kind of a crap shoot for him, right? And totally unfair. But y’all, the whining. THE WHINING.
If I think too hard about this, I venture into unsafe territory. I get into the “I’m a bad mom” waters because I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. And those are some deep, deep waters, y’all. With sharks.
I feel like other moms are more well-adjusted to the whining and the tantrums because the juice MUST be in the YELLOW cup and NOT the BLUE cup but they are the SAME cup except different colors.
But the part of me who hangs out on Twitter knows that moms who do this SAHM thing all the time and not just part-time like me get just as frustrated by those kinds of antics as I do.
I think part of my inability to adjust to this new gig is that I know it’s temporary. I know that in four weeks or less, it’s back to the daily routine we go.
Back to work I go.
Back to only seeing him for two hours a day.
I think part of me is really reluctant to get used to this because I know that as soon as I do, it’s over. Done.
For another year.
I think every child should come with at least an 18 year supply of wine and chocolate. We could all use that whether or not we stay at home, right?