I’d like to say that I’m rocking this temporary SAHM thing. But I’m totally not. This is about as natural to me as peeing standing up and not having it run down my leg. Which is to say it’s just not natural at all.
And today was not fantastic. At all. Not even a little bit. (Until I opened a bottle of wine. And then it got better.)
I always have high hopes for summer break. I’m always all “Oh, we are just going to have such an amazing time!” And then the summer gets here and Joshua decides to wake up twice a night AND get up at 6:30 in the morning AND be cranky and unreasonable and I?
Wish I were at work.
Seriously.
Only I don’t wish I was at work because then there’d be essays to grade and grammar to teach and I’d miss my kid because he’s calling his teacher at school “Mama” and I’d be all “WHY CAN’T I JUST BE AT HOME!?!?!?”
Quite the conundrum, no?
Dan says I’ve been really cranky when he comes home which is making him get all antsy before he gets here because he expects I’m going to be in a bad mood. I think I only have one or two of those days a week and he’s being ridiculous about the fact that I’m always in a bad mood when he gets here.
In reality? I’m probably in a bad mood as often as I’m in a good one. Which is kind of a crap shoot for him, right? And totally unfair. But y’all, the whining. THE WHINING.
If I think too hard about this, I venture into unsafe territory. I get into the “I’m a bad mom” waters because I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. And those are some deep, deep waters, y’all. With sharks.
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I feel like other moms are more well-adjusted to the whining and the tantrums because the juice MUST be in the YELLOW cup and NOT the BLUE cup but they are the SAME cup except different colors.
But the part of me who hangs out on Twitter knows that moms who do this SAHM thing all the time and not just part-time like me get just as frustrated by those kinds of antics as I do.
I think part of my inability to adjust to this new gig is that I know it’s temporary. I know that in four weeks or less, it’s back to the daily routine we go.
Back to work I go.
Back to only seeing him for two hours a day.
I think part of me is really reluctant to get used to this because I know that as soon as I do, it’s over. Done.
For another year.
::sigh::
I think every child should come with at least an 18 year supply of wine and chocolate. We could all use that whether or not we stay at home, right?
Monday was pretty shitty for me with regards to the toddler. He too woke up at 6.30, having woken up a couple of times and he spent the whole day alternating between clingy, whiny and tantrumy. Biting was involved. Yelling too. 7.30pm could not come any faster.
So I feel you, I so do. And I have this SAHM gig. Sometimes I think I can’t do it, not cut out for it. Then I imagine not being with him in the daytime – I know I have to stay at home with him. And try to appreciate my blessings.
Chocolate and ice cream helps. A lot.
We had some slapping over here. With time outs and meltdowns.
And even though this is frustrating, my heart would rather be here doing this 90% of the time than at work and missing him.
I will never ever get used to the tantrums because he wants a GRAPE but not THAT grape the OTHER grapes, the imaginary ones that he’s pointing to in the fridge that are actually chickpeas. NEVER. And oh my patience is tested daily. You just learn to take a lot of deep breaths and remember it’s not going to last forever. Tape that to all your mirrors.
THIS AGE WON’T LAST FOREVER. I mean it in a good way too.
Oh, I don’t think anyone gets used to it. I just wonder if maybe some women are more prepared? than others.
And the indecision. Omg. He asked for crackers three times today and pointed to the same sleeve of saltines every time. But it was only on the third time that those were actually the saltines he wanted and not some imaginary, invisible saltines in his head.
I’m sorry you had a bad day. I thought you were in a good mood when we were together, so maybe I’m more unobservant than I thought! I have a bunny and a stripper barbie to offer you if that would make you feel better. Or we can get together again and I’ll read “Pete the Cat” to you. Just you, not Joshua. ‘Cause that’s the kind of generous friend I am.
First I should say that I was two glasses of wine in upon writing this. So really this was an emotional purge born from being really tired and slightly buzzed.
Second, we totally had fun with you today. It was the time that we were at home that was not so pleasant. But it’s unrealistic for me to keep him away from the house every minute of every day and that’s where the problem comes in that leaves me feeling like I have no idea what I’m doing.
Oh, and you can keep the stripper Barbie. I don’t need Joshua getting the wrong ideas about women. Bunny? Is a good name for stripper Barbie though, don’t you think??
Sounds like a rough day. We all have them. It seems like every other day I change my mind. One day Landon and Brigham are being uber sweet and I want to spend my entire day kissing and hugging them.
The next day they are throwing sippy cups at my face and crying because I won’t let Landon ride his bicycle in the house. Those are the days when I wish it were okay to leave them in the house. You know, while I go for a run or something. NOTE: I hate running.
It is SUCH a conundrum. I’m glad I have a job and the paycheck is real nice. But I feel like I miss so much. Sometimes I feel like I do pull away from them emotionally because if I get to used to being with them during vacation or something – I will realize what I’m missing. It sucks. ROYALLY. I want a bit of both worlds.
The day was allllll about the sleep we didn’t get on Sunday night. All. I just wanted to get in the car and drive yesterday evening. Where would I go? No idea. But I just wanted to be away.
Your last paragraph? That’s me. I love my job and the teens I work with. I love having a paycheck. But I hate that I miss so much time with him. Even when I’m home with him in the summer, I know it won’t last. I know it has to end. And that keeps me from really enjoying it, I think.
I’m a full time working mom and as such I tend to idolize the SAHM gig. I go back and forth between hating my job and feeling significant because of it. I always like hearing about working moms who get a taste of the “other side” because I often wonder how I would “really” handle it. It’s fun to think it would be bliss but I’m sure I’d become a bottle-a-day wino. Is that a word? Is that how you spell it?
Yes. That’s a word. And yes, that’s how you spell it. And I do tend to consume more wine in the summer than I do during the school year. So maybe you’re on to something!
Really, it’s nice to get this glimpse into “how the other half lives.” This is definitely a “perk” of the job. I just wish the adjustment period were shorter and I could get to the point where I enjoy it more quickly.
These past few days? Have been awful. The yelling, the crying, the whining. The tears, the time outs, the tantrums. We’ve had numerous time outs and I’ve slapped him (let’s not judge, it was just his arm, and it wasn’t hard AT ALL…ahem). Point is, it’s hard. And at times? It sucks. I am a SAHM and there have been times I wished I was working again. But I try to cover it up by remembering that every mother deals with this and every child will grow out of this at some point. Let’s just hope that moment comes before I run out of wine!
I popped Joshua on the leg the other day because he slapped me. And then I thought “You moron. Teaching a kid not to hit by hitting??” Gah. I’m blaming reflexes on that one. And severe frustration.
I know we all deal with it. I know it’s just a phase. But this is a phase I wish had a fast-forward button.
There are days when I want to shoot myself in the face in the whining. Some days Gracelynn is just insatiable… and Noah thinks because she’s in a pissed off mood he can act like a mini terrorist and destroy me. I rarely have a handle on a day anymore, I just go with it. When the kids are quiet I take that chance to do what needs to be done. Most days I just say to hell with the housework, the kids outside playing is more fun and the housework isn’t going anywhere any time soon, I can do it when they go to bed. You just need to find the right balance for *you* and when you do, it won’t be as frustrating 😉
When he’s quiet? I’m quiet. Because I’m sleeping. Or watching tv. I can’t clean while he’s napping because cleaning will wake him up. So? Nap time is me time.
It must be in the air. I can’t blame it on the water unless you count kool-aid because Lulu (Emilee) has been whinny also. I’ve learned as a mother and a nana that at some point you have to tune it out so I say to her “I can’t understand anything you’re saying, so until you stop whinning and crying I’m not listening”. For the most part this works but then she is 3 and can understand a little more than a 2 yr old. This is just ALL part of it, and I would love to tell you it gets better with age but I’m sorry to say it doesn’t and in some cases it worsens, so I just count the GOOD days and try to forget those that aren’t so good, I think sometimes if we could be SAHM and SAHN it would be better because we would be more use to it and it wouldn’t bother us as much………just wishing….it’s time to double the meds……lol
Do you WANT anymore grandchildren? Telling me it doesn’t get better is not making my reproductive urges any stronger, Mom! LOL
You double the meds, I’ll double the wine. We’ll see which works best!
As someone who has been both a working mom and a SAHM, I feel like being a working mom is so much better. I’m counting down the days until I can get out of the home again.
I think it’s easier, in part, at least for me, because my teenagers can COMMUNICATE. They don’t have meltdowns and when they do, I can show them how ridiculous they are being and they (usually) get it. Notsomuch with the toddler, though.
Sadly, some little ones (much like pets) do not understand the fine art of sleeping in or the craziness of their requests/demands. My 2 girls fight over the craziest things. Who knew drink in a certain cup or with certain straw (son even gets in on this straw issue) was such a big to do. So cannot wait to tell them these stories when they’re like, “Mom, you just won’t believe what the kid/kids did today!” and I’ll be all like, “Wanna bet?”
Hang in there! You’re doing a fine job. I sometimes miss being a working mom for those very same reasons. But even though I’m home now, I worry they don’t get my full attention as I’m forever cleaning this or that, not to mention the laundry! =)
I do worry that he doesn’t get my full attention. All the time. Whether I’m home with him or working, I’ve always got something on my mind. I have a hard time shutting myself off.
I’m about to enter on a two week stretch that will allow me to see my kids, if I’m lucky, for an hour a day. I leave for work before they’re awake. I might get a tiny bit of time with them between work & rehearsal, but I’ll be back home well-after they’re asleep.
Cherish the summer 🙂
I do cherish it. Most of the time. I’m incredibly thankful for a job that allows me this time with him. But sometimes it gets really, really hard. Really.
Wine, chocolate, an instruction manual and oh- they need to come out of the womb potty trained. Just sayin’. I feel your pain all though Pea isn’t home with me all day, she has to go to daycare, cause I have to pay, but I bring her around 11, and she gets up at the asscrack of dawn also. Oh and sleep? I don’t know what sleep is. She wakes up a bazillion times a night, always ends up in our bed, sleeps like a friggin schizophrenic maniac and… OMG I could go on.
I was a SAHM mom for 18 months and there is no part of me that longs for the times when I stayed at home all day with my child. There just isn’t.
I. Feel. Your. Pain.
Wine and chocolate. I like the way you think.
I always think I’ll enjoy summer break. I plan all of the activities the kids and I will do and all of the fabulous bonding time we’ll have. By the second day, I’m ready to go back to work. I’m just not the “activity” kind of mom. They’re also not the stay-at-home-and-play-with-mom kind of kids. They’ve gone somewhere (daycare, school, etc.) every day of their lives. It’s best for us all.
Good luck!