I know you guys probably thought I had forgotten about SOTWW. Well, I didn’t. I just needed a few weeks to clear my head and find some focus. I’m not sure that my head is clear or that my focus has been found, but here I am anyway, talking about my weight again.
Which, by the way, as of this morning is down to 191. Two pounds from my 31 for 31 goal.
It’s weird though. I’m quite happy that the number has gone down since the last time I weighed in and wrote about it. I think I’ve lost it all in my boobs, which, hey, I’m not complaining. They were kind of taking on a life of their own for a while there.
My eating habits are whacked out right now because I’m just not interested in food. I get hungry, and I make myself eat because I know I have to, but nothing sounds good to me. Do you know how frustrating it is to stare into a refrigerator or a pantry and know you have to choose something but find that you’re completely unable to choose anything because it all looks unappetizing?
It’s really, really frustrating.
I also haven’t been to the gym in a month because 1) I am depressed and 2) this new schedule of ours has thrown a monkey wrench into my regularly scheduled gym-going.
I don’t want to pick the kids up from school and then drive them to the gym and drop them in the daycare there because that feels like a jerk thing to do. I can’t go in the morning after dropping them off because that cuts into my work hours. I can’t go in the evenings because I’m writing 5 nights a week.
I know, I know. When fitness is a priority you just do it. You find a way to make it work.
I want to make it work. I need to make it work because something has to give with how tired I feel all the time. If going to the gym can counteract the sedating effects of my anti-depressant, then yes, I need to be in the gym. But when? This is why going to the gym when I worked out of the home was so difficult for me.
So, that’s where I am. Not hungry. Not going to the gym. Still losing weight.
Two pounds to go.