At this moment, I am officially the heaviest I have ever been while not pregnant in my 31 years on this planet.
That is the kind of scary and uncomfortable truth about the state of my weight.
Yep. Those are my feet on that scale. And that number is my weight as of today. Seven pounds heavier than the day I left the hospital after having Emma.
It’s weird. All of this weight has crept on slowly, almost imperceptibly. Until one day I looked in a mirror and there it was.
I feel like I’m living in that movie with Gwyneth Paltrow where she’s a heavy woman but that one guy sees her as skinny. Â Except in reverse. Sometimes I think all reflective surfaces everywhere in the world are lying. There’s no way I can possibly have gotten as…fleshy as this.
But I know that those reflections aren’t lying because I can feel the extra pounds weighing me down.
I feel the fullness in my chin. I feel the rolls in my midsection hanging over my jeans. My boobs are kind of out of control. (Which, contrary to popular belief, isn’t a great problem to have.)
Basically, I’m tired of it. I love my life and am generally happy with it, but I don’t much like my body and the reflection I see in the mirror. I don’t much like the way I feel.
I want more energy. I want to be healthier. I want my kids to grow up understanding what it means to be healthy, mentally and physically.
And so, I’m doing something about it.
First, we joined the gym. Again. The big gym. With childcare and a pool and yoga classes and row after row of cardio equipment and a giant weight floor that scares me a little bit.
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As much as this is my journey, I’m not on it alone. If we’re going to be a healthy family, well, we have to do this as a family. When I drop Joshua and Emma off at the childcare center, I tell him it’s so I can go and exercise and be healthy. If we talk enough about it, and if I remember that I’m doing this for them, it’ll become a way of his life, too, right?
I’m meeting with a trainer at the gym this afternoon while Joshua is at his swimming lesson. I’m terrified of being judged but fully realize that fear is all in my head. Probably.
Second, I’m going to make small goals each week or every other week related not necessarily to my weight, but to my overall health. Small changes that I think will have a big impact in the long run.
My first goal is to drink more water. I’m terrible about drinking two or three cups of coffee in the morning and then sometimes nothing else for the rest of the day. I might grab a soda with dinner but my daily intake of fluids of any kind, much less the “right” kind are low.
Finally, there’s losing some weight, which was one of my 31 for 31 goals. 31 pounds to start and then we’ll see where it goes from there.
When Dan and I were engaged, I dropped 30 pounds in advance of our wedding. I weighed myself once a week, on Wednesdays. I chose the middle of the week so that if I had an indulgent weekend, I had Monday and Tuesday to get back on track.
I’m not sure it made a difference, but in my head it made sense, so I plan to adopt that strategy again. Weighing once a week on Wednesdays. Writing about it to keep me accountable. (So y’all, keep me accountable. But gently, mmkay?)
If you’ve been waiting for the right time to make some changes and you think now is it, join me. I’m not opposed to making this a link up if there’s any interest.
If you just want to watch from afar and don’t want to join me, that’s okay, too. Especially if it means you’re at a place in your life where you’re happy with yourself and where you are. I want to be there too, so I’m doing this anyway.
Here goes nothing, right?
Weekly Goal: Drink more water
Weight Loss Goal #1: 5 pounds
I like the small goals your setting for yourself. A little at a time, right? I can always do baby steps. My weight has been creeping back now that I’m eating dairy again and I must EAT. ALL. THE. CHEESE.
My goal is to do some form of exercise every day. Yesterday it was a long walk pushing the stroller. Today it was basketball with a student.
You CAN do this! I’m behind you!
I remember when that happened. Joshua stopped nursing. I started eating dairy. Bam. 10 lbs.
I totally think small goals are the way to go!
Don’t worry about feeling judged by the trainer – the trainer is there to help! That person should be honest and realistic, but also positive. Because if you aren’t getting healthier under their supervision, they’re not doing their job the right way. I think you’ll feel a lot of encouragement and support.
GREAT JOB!
I don’t think I worry about feeling judged by the trainer so much as I worry about feeling judged by everyone else? Which I know is irrational because no one is paying attention to me. They are all there doing their own thing.
Good for you!!
I drop my youngest two (3 and 1yrs) off at our local Y childcare 4-5 days a week. I sit and drink my coffee for the first 10-15 minutes and then go workout (class, weights, or cardio) for an hour or so. It’s part of the kid’s morning routine now and they really miss it when we don’t go to “Y-play.” I think they need that time with other kids as much as I need “me time” to get and stay healthy. You can do it!
Rebekah (or Mamaskids on twitter)
My goal, I think, is for this to become part of their routine. It’s just a thing we do, like brushing our teeth.
I’m working on it, too. Easier said than done! I’ve made myself a little goals calendar. My first three goals have been to drink 64 oz of water a day, walk 10 miles a week (which seems lame, but I’m not doing anything…), and do two 20-minute strength sessions a week. And then I’m “paying” myself with little treats (non-food treats). I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been in a non-pregnant state (except right after birth, I suppose), and I feel miserable. I am hoping to lose 30 pounds before I’m 30 in October. Holy moly.
I don’t think 10 miles a week sounds lame at all!!
I’ll pay myself with non-food treats as soon as I can figure out what reasonable non-food treats might be.
You can totally do 30 by 30!! You can!
I highly suggest the MyFitnessPal app for your phone! If you start using that, I PROMISE the pounds will start falling off!
Good luck! I know you can do this!!!
((hugz))
I have the MyPlate app from Livestrong! Love it!
Good for you for getting healthy for you and your family. I love that you’re focusing on small goals. I’ll be cheering you on!
Thanks! 🙂
I just came to the realization two days ago that the rest of my baby weight is not going to magically fall off by itself. And exercise isn’t going to to it for me, either. I know because I started running again in January and the scale hasn’t budged. Well, it’s gone up a couple of pounds, actually. It’s all in my eating. I haven’t wanted to reign myself in. But I know I have to if I’m going to see a difference. This is a big challenge with working f/t and taking care of the girls. I’m not quite sure how I’m going to do it, but I need to start and make a real attempt at it. Here’s to trying!
Yep. It’s not going anywhere. So, I have to send it packing. My goal right now is to get exercise to be a regular part of my routine and make small changes to my diet along the way. If I try to do it all at once, I will fail.
How inspiring that you put it all out there! small goals are a great way to start. I’m rooting for you!
Thanks!
You are braver than I, I can’t get on the scale. But I know I weigh the most I ever have not pregnant so first step is getting back on the treadmill.
I think the first step is to take a step. So whether it’s to the scale or to the treadmill, it’s a step. You can do it!
The water will really do wonders. I have recently been taking a 22oz nalgene into our bathroom at night. In the AM, I have to drink it all before I leave the bathroom to get the kids. Then I try and drink another 16oz glass with my breakfast or while running around the house getting stuff ready. I make my coffee in my travel mug AND PUT IT IN THE CAR. I can’t have it until I leave, so I only have water in the first 1.5 hours of my day. Seems too regimented but it has even rubbed off on Kevin and he is admitting he feels SO MUCH BETTER. If he skips a day, he can feel it. It is something that is super simple that can make a difference. Simple steps. It is a great goal to start.
You are going to rock this 🙂
This is pretty freaking genius. :putting water bottle in bathroom:
The first 1.5 hours of my day are spent trying not to fall back asleep. I try to drink a cup of water whenever I walk into a room with a sink. So, I go pee, I drink a cup of water after washing my hands. I go to the kitchen for a snack, I drink water first.
I just knew how dehydrated I was and knew that this would be an easy first step!
I am proud of you! You’re going to do great, you sort of have a determined personality. 🙂
Thank you! And me? Determined personality? I have no idea what you mean! 🙂
I love this! You are taking control and doing it. I love that you are writing about it and I think you will inspire many along this journey. As for the water thing here’s something that works for me. I get bored of water sometimes. I have a big pitcher that I keep in my fridge. I fill it with orange slices, lemons sometimes berries, sometimes mint & cucumbers anything I may be feeling at that particular time and I fill it with water. I have my own 20 ounce water bottle that I fill every morning with water from there after my much needed morning coffee. I take it with me wherever I am and find most days I drink not only 1 but 2. Hope this helps! You’ve got this mama and I’m routing for you. 🙂
I’m going to keep that infused water trick in the back of my head. Right now, it’s all about getting the water to the right temperature. If I can do that, I can knock it back no problem!
Get yourself a Camelbak and you will be cruising through that water goal in no time!
I have a big Thermos bottle that I bought for taking with me to the gym and I’ve been filling it up two or three times a day!
Love your toenail polish!
& Love Brandy’s water idea. I still carry around my big pregnancy jug or 22 oz tervis tumblers at work. But I’m not as good about drinking water as I should be. Maybe I’ll make that goal along with you.
As for your weight loss goals, you got this girl! I’m cheering you on for sure!
Thanks! It’s actually hot pink but came across a little more subdued in the photo.
I’m trying to drink water whenever I enter a room where there is water and I’m also filling up my thermos three times a day.
Awesome! I’m right there with you. Heaviest I’ve ever been, gained weight after getting a few pounds under pre-pregnancy weight with my second child. I started a weight loss challenge with a bunch of women from my message board and I’ve lost 5 pounds over the past three weeks. I’m hoping to continue a slow and steady loss over the next several weeks of the challenge. I’ve given up sodas and juice and milk and pretty much just drink water day in and day out, with the occasional iced coffee on the weekends. Four large Tervis tumblers a day get my eyeballs swimming! It is really difficult for me to lose weight, but I’ve come to the realization that I just cannot eat like normal people and that I’m going to be fighting this battle my entire life. So, GAME ON.
Every time I pass by that huge Lifetime Fitness on Sugarloaf I stare longingly, dreaming of the machines and the classes and the pool and the CHILDCARE. I’m thinking about joining up this summer just for the pool access. Maybe I’ll be able to send the husband and the boys out for a swim and get in some quality workouts!
I’m not sure I knew (or didn’t know?) that you’re in Atlanta too. We joined a Lifetime but not that one. I love it. All of it. It’s pricey, but I think it’s also worth it.
So I say do it!
And congrats on your five pounds gone!!
You are so BRAVE! My own husband doesn’t know what I weigh.
You can do it!
Thanks! I figure putting it out there is another way to make myself accountable.
Miranda – you are NOT alone in this. Thank you for putting this out there — I’m really finding that, the more I talk about my struggles, the more accountable I feel.
Obviously, every person is different, and different things work for different folk – but your story and my story are the same . . . heck, I even considered myself mostly-healthy, but I looked in the mirror one day & said “dear god, what happened?” I can just say that, early on, what I found most important were: working out when I had the opportunity (I’ve become a bit obsessed about making myself go to the gym, but that started by trying to fit in 30 minute workouts here & there), reprimanding myself if I found myself with an empty water cup (or if more than 2 hours went by where I didn’t have to pee), logging every bite of food that I ate.
About being judged at the gym . . . I’ve been the biggest guy in the room, plenty of times. The other day, someone mistakenly called me “that tall skinny guy with the shaved head.” I’ve always worried about being judged. I, myself, have never judged, however.
And Wednesdays are a good day for weigh-in (I started on Wednesdays, but that was because New Year’s Day was on a Tuesday this year, so Wednesday marked the return to work AND my commitment to myself).
Thank you. You’re always so encouraging.
It helps to know that I’m not alone and that there are those out there who understand what I mean when I say it’s like I woke up in a different body. Weird. And I don’t like it. So, it’s time to fix it.
The thing about feeling judged is that I know it’s all in my head. No one there is really paying me any attention. They’re all probably worried that they’re being judged too.
But look at how cute your toes are?! I love the color. Mine look like they’ve been run over by a truck. I’m proud of you and I think you can do it. I’m lazy, so I won’t be joining you. We were members of a fancy gym with a daycare and it started out good, then I just decided “I’m too lazy for this shit.” But I bet your willpower is better than mine. I can drink more water with you though! Since I’m dying on this stupid, stupid elimination diet and not drinking caffeine or soda, I’ll drink more water. Good luck, girl!
Good luck! Geez you have more nerve than I do, showing the scale. I haven’t lost my baby weight and she is 20! Ha! I’ll keep reading so may I’ll be motivated too…
I want to join you on this journey. I am needing to lose over 100 lbs but am going to start small this week. We can do this! Ain’t no thang!
I’m so proud of you. You will do great!
I need to get back in. I’ve been wanting to start working out again. I feel bleh.
Ugh. I hate how much I weigh right now too. I think since January I’ve gained 10 pounds. WTF. I swear I don’t feel like I’m doing that much worse but I know I can do soooo much better. I need to do it. Good luck ((((()))) I’m hopeful that I can start again soon.