Today my son wore a pink hat in public. A bright, glaring pink hat he called a cowboy hat. He was awesome.
It was with the Easter items in the Dollar Spot at Target. He tossed a purple one at Emma’s head and donned the pink one himself and off he went to look at the lawn pinwheels in the next bin while I scoped out items for their Easter baskets.
Emma dropped her purple hat to the ground as if to say “done with this!” and we took off to get the rest of what we came for. He was trailing behind me, jabbering about Mario Kart or Angry Birds Star Wars or whatever popped into his almost 4 year old mind. And then he caught up to me and I saw it. The pink hat bobbing along at my side.
I smiled.
Other people looked at this boy in the pink hat. Many of them smiled. Others just looked away. No one seemed to judge, but I’m sure some of them did. They saw this boy in the pink hat and found something wrong with it.
But there’s nothing wrong with it.
My son loves trucks and trains. Cars. And Cars. Angry Birds in any incarnation the game’s creators can imagine and throw into the Apple store.
He would BE the red Samurai Power Ranger if he could figure out how to make the old flip phone work as a real “Samurai-zer.” Spider-Man hangs the moon.
And sometimes he wears pink hats. Or asks me to paint his toenails. Or he puts his sister’s bow in his hair and proceeds to race his garbage truck around the house until my ears bleed from the sound of the wheels on the floor.
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He loves so many things that would seem “wrong” to other people but which to me seem perfectly right. I don’t want anyone to tell him (or Emma, but hers will be another story) what he can and can’t like. And yet, I know it’s coming.
I’ve already heard his friends say “that’s for girls.” And my heart has broken a little every time.
I want him to be this unaware of the meanness in the world for the rest of his life. To protect him from that.
I admire his unwavering bravery to be who he is. To love what he loves. I know that this won’t always be easy.
But I hope that I’m teaching him to be this confident in himself and comfortable in his skin forever.
To know that he can love whatever he wants to love.
Ballet or baseball. Or both. He doesn’t even have to choose.
He is my boy. My boy in the pink hat.
A.W.E.S.O.M.E. Rock that cowboy hat, young man. 🙂
He definitely rocks it.
Cole has a winter hat that is a pink bunny – he LOVES it.
Ah! I love it. His winter hat is a black Angry Bird, which is just so him. But bunnies are awesome, too. Makes me think of the kid from A Christmas Story.
I am a terrible commenter (phone reader) but I want to tell you how much I love your candid words. In that very same dollar section at Target, I had my nearly 3 yr old son choose his own Easter headband, and he chose the butterfly over the frog 😉 Also, the other day my husband told baby girl as she was playing with a fire truck “You can marry a firefighter someday, Remy” to which I very quickly and softly corrected: “You can BE a firefighter someday, if that is what you want. There are no gender roles in this family.” And he smiled : “You are absolutely right, Mama.”
Thank you for coming over and commenting. I’m a phone reader too, so I know how much of a pain it can be. I don’t really believe in gender roles either. Whatever my kids want to be, they can be.
How does one upvote this type of content? E is the same way, unfortunately he has already started asking if something is “only for girls” and we promptly correct him that if he likes it or enjoys playing with it, it’s not just for girls.
Keep on rocking that pink hat little dude. Much respect.
Ha. You share it! 🙂
It’s a gut punch when I hear kids their age say something is “for girls” or “for boys.” At this age it’s all just “for kids.”
Pink was my older sons favorite color for YEARS until peer pressure got to him. Now I think it’s pie.
In the last month or so Belle has started saying things are for boys or girls. While she is a doll lover and loves girly things we surround her with other toys as well. She loves playing with cars and dinosaurs. I don’t want her or her sister to grow up thinking they can not play with things or be certain things just because they are girls.
I love his pink hat and he rocked it!
My kiddo has started saying things like, “That’s for boys/girls!” I have no idea where they come from. Must be school, but “boys and girls make the choice to wear what they want!” At least that’s what I’m trying to teach her.
He is rocking that hat!
You are winning at motherhood. I hope my boy feels as free to love what he loves as yours does. And I hope your little guy and girl go as long as possible before the stupid world tries to force their ideas onto them.
I have a whole post in draft about the phrase that Eddie asks often all of a sudden that totally breaks my heart: “Is that for girls or for boys?”
He didn’t learn to ask that in our house. Well, except when he asked me if I had a penis. That? is only for boys.
Every time I hear that’s a girl color I want to punch the person who told the 4 year old in front of me that. So annoying. There are no girl toys or boy toys, there are toys.
Until they start to identify themselves with their peers, color is color. At that age, they love the bright colors, which is great. Besides, I have a hubby who wears pink. So, I have no problem with “girl colors” on boys. 🙂
LOL at Katie’s penis comment. I’m not ready for those.
I’m also not ready for the toys in our house to stop being for both babies. The sociology major in me thinks it’s both an interesting study of the gender roles in society & also sad how those roles are pressed upon children at such young ages. Here’s hoping all the pink & blue can reign for both the babies in my house for a lot longer!
LOVE. We have that, too, this boy who loves the girl things and the boy things. He is a “boyish boy” who loves pirates and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (which are apparently still a thing) and sometimes plays too roughly. But he also loves pink balloons and painting his fingernails. And I love it.
One day he came home from his preschool and said he couldn’t use a pink plate anymore because pink is for girls. And my heart broke.
I think I was able to talk him out of it. Because I so very much want him to be and love what he wants; no predetermined gender associations allowed.
Red goes for the pink glitter every time we walk into the shoe store! Pink was actually viewed as manly during the early 1900s. (Derivative of red).
i love this! my son just turned six and still plays with his sisters things. he dresses up in dresses while playing dress up and still asks me to paint his toes. it’s sweet and i too will be very very sad when it stops.