This trend of shaming people for wrongdoings both perceived and actual has to stop.
Yesterday, Jezebel published an article about teenagers who used racist language on Twitter after the election.
The article listed these teenagers’ names, the cities and states where they live, their schools, even some of their accolades and college plans.
All of this information is available to anyone who searches for said information, yes. That’s true. But what this article has done is put them up on a 21st century scaffold much like Hester Prynne in the opening chapter of The Scarlet Letter so that they can serve as an “example.” An example that deters nothing.
Had the article been simply a missive to stop the use of racial slurs and demeaning language in the public sphere, I wouldn’t be writing this post right now. Or I’d be writing a very different post.
But the purpose of that article wasn’t to start a dialogue about hate speech and kids and teens online like it could have been, or should have been. It was an attempt–and perhaps a premeditated one–to jump on the shaming bandwagon.
Just so we’re clear moving forward, the use of hate speech is abhorrent and most certainly must cease. And you’ll never hear me utter otherwise. I’m not writing this to defend their use of racial slurs on the internet, to excuse away what they did and say they deserve no repercussions. They absolutely do.
But punishments must fit the crimes for which they are given, and a lifetime of embarrassment for the indiscretion of one’s youth doesn’t fit. And more importantly, a punishment should teach WHY a behavior should be avoided instead of just engendering fear.
Having worked with teens, having studied them both in textbooks and anecdotally, here are some things I know to be true:
- all teenagers, every one of them, are sometimes idiots. They do and say stupid, hurtful things.
- biologically, teens are hard-wired to lack impulse control. It simply isn’t finished developing yet. Some, however, arrive at this more quickly than others, but by and large, teens are motivated by instant gratification, not unlike their infant selves.
- their desire to fit in–anywhere at all–is sometimes stronger than their will to breathe.
- they don’t understand the terms “forever” and “public” as pertaining to the internet in the same way that we as adults understand them.
Here’s the issue I have with the way this was handled. Did these kids–and they are children with developing brains and brain chemistry–deserve to be reprimanded by their schools and their parents for their online behavior in the same way an adult would be reprimanded by his/her job for the same behavior?
Absolutely.
If one of my cheerleaders had uttered such words and someone had run across it online and told me, that would’ve been fantastic, because then I would have had the opportunity to actually teach about the wrong of the behavior. But that’s where the online punishment stops. Once that person tells me about the behavior, there is no expectation for me to go back to the person who told me and say “here’s how I handled it.”
(I can tell you she would’ve hung up her pom-poms, at the least, that’s for sure. But I wouldn’t owe you that information as the person who reported the incident.)
But what’s happened now has moved beyond that.
What’s happened now has vilified these teens, turning them into pariahs for the sake of making them an “example” to others. What’s happened now doesn’t teach them WHY their online behavior was wrong. It teaches them that some people get a pass on bullying, and attacking, and hurling insulting words. And yes, this is bullying.
It teaches them hatred of themselves and others, embarrassment, and fear. It increases their risk for depression when that risk is already high.
Now we have adults–who, quite frankly, should know better–cheering the author on for her shaming in the comments sections of blogs and Facebook pages, saying they hope that these teens never get accepted into college, are unable to find gainful employment someday. Adults saying they hope these children hate themselves for the rest of their lives, that any depression they suffer as a result of their words is deserved.
God forbid one of these teens should take his or her life over strangers on the internet continuing their public parade of humiliation into eternity.
And truly, if there are those of you out there who believe these teens deserve depression to the point of suicide for this, I question YOUR judgment more than I question theirs. What’s sad is that I know people who believe this exist in the world.
The purpose of that article was simple: shaming not for the purpose of teaching but for the purposes of page views.
In a word, money.
The Jezebel writer, in this case, sought out these teenagers. Children. Children who do not understand the concept of “forever” and “public” in the same way that we as adults understand the online world. She sought them out, tracked them down, and reported them to their schools. And that’s where her use of their names and identifying information should have stopped.
But it didn’t stop there which makes me wonder if her article, this public shaming, was premeditated, which drastically lessens the impact this article could have had if I thought shaming were a good idea in the first place.
But we’re to believe she wrote this because she felt that the schools weren’t punishing them? Weren’t doing enough? How could she possibly know that? And what, exactly, is “enough”?
I’m crying foul on this, y’all.
Teenagers who knowingly commit crimes are afforded more protections than this. And I’m not saying that these teens didn’t know their words were hate speech. But I am saying that shaming them into Public Enemy No. 1 isn’t teaching them to do differently next time in any sort of way that actually teaches about the hate behind those words.
It says “don’t” while hurling insulting words at them in a vicious cycle of pot and kettle.
It doesn’t teach them why they shouldn’t on a basic, human level.
Here’s my hope:
That we remember what it was like to be a stupid teenager. And we were all stupid teenagers about something. And maybe that we thank the Universe that we grew up before the internet.
That we think of our own children and instead of saying “they’ll never…” we think of how we’d want them treated if. That we teach them why. Encourage them to be kinder humans than some out there.
That we teach with love in our hearts instead of heaping hate upon hate.
Couldn’t disagree more. Yes all teenagers do stupid thing but most aren’t hateful idiots. I hope this kind of thing continues. Put it out there? Accept the consequences. Period.
And you KNOW they are hateful idiots because of a tweet they put on the internet? Not that they could be trying to fit in? Or honestly just think it’s cool to talk like that? You don’t know these kids or their families. It’s easy to react to hate with hate. But that does no one any good.
Yes. yes I do. Unless you use the word nigger to fit in. Do you?
No I dont, but I grew up in Alabama where I KNOW people that did. And those people aren’t hateful people. They grew up and realized they were stupid. And now these kids aren’t being afforded the same understanding. You can’t paint strangers with a paintbrush you think fits them. It”s ignorant and hateful.
Veronica,
How long should they accept the consequences? In 25 years, when they’re no longer “hateful idiots”, and they are unemployed because every time an HR department does a name search, and comes up with this article? Is using a racial slur as a minor the same as registering as an adult sex offender?
I love knowing who these people are. Bring em out. Let us people who do find it indecent to use language like this know where we stand with these individuals. They will not be welcome in our homes. We will not patronize their business. It’s funny. If they were using the R word I feel like a whole lot of people would be totally fine. N bomb? OMG no big deal EVERYONE makes mistakes. Um. Nope. Normal people don’t use language like that. Sorry.
I’ll be honest, the reaction by grown adults is shameful. I understand wanting to “call out” ignorance. But what Jezebel did was crossing a major line, a line that now makes them targets. Targets for bullies, for threats, for attacks. Jezebel put a target on them, and people are just feeding the fire. These kids DESERVE a chance to LEARN better. And now they may learn, and never be able to be able to move on. I think it’s DISGUSTING the way grown people are reacting. And when their kids mess up in life, and they will….I hope that their kids are treated with more grace. With a chance to redeem themselves. And the fact is, if one of those kids kills themselves from the pressure and the attacks the bullying brought on by Jezebel….will the same grown people who are attacking them realize things have gone too far? Is that what it takes?
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. -Martin Luther King, Jr.
They should be ashamed. And I’m glad that the light was shined on their hatred.
What is the alternative? To explain why using the
N-word is wrong? Sorry, if anyone doesn’t know that, they’re not
going to learn that lesson.
These people knew exactly what they were doing.
You don’t get to use hate speech like that against anyone and
chalk it up to a learning curve.
I have thought about this a lot and I agree, Marinka. When you broadcast thoughts publicly on social media, your intent is for it to be seen publicly. It’s not the same as a surreptitious photo taken at a party or a bong shot that gets leaked. When you publicly state–in any forum–disgusting, hateful thoughts, you are responsible for the consequences.
We as a society all need to collectively stand up and say “this is not okay.”
For as many people who believe that they were just reckless teenagers exhibiting youthful indiscretions, no doubt there will be employers in 10 years who believe that as well.
I have read your post three times and thought about commenting. I’ve tried to figure out where I stand and I have to say that I’m going to have to agree with Liz and Marinka. We’re also not talking about 10 and 12 year olds. These kids are in High School.
There are lessons in life that should be taught by a parent or a teacher. And then there are incidents that are so egregious and played out in social media for the world to see and these kids have to accept the consequences for those.
Do we not remember Tyler Clementi? His roommate was 20 at the time. Barely older than these kids. And he killed himself for things that were said and shown on social media.
Hate speech is totally unacceptable I know we all agree on that but they chose to broadcast it on twitter and they are being made an example out of because of it. It is a hard lesson to learn and if they were “just saying it to fit in” but some really disgusting things were said. Telling people to shoot themselves for “voting for the n-”
It makes me sick and after reading those tweets I honestly think that publishing of that article will teach them lessons far greater than any other type of “punishment.”
I do not think that these articles will keep them from attending college or getting jobs.
I guess my question to your point about Tyler Clementi, since we cannot mistake the horrors of that situation, is what happens when one of these teens takes his/her own life because of the hate being sent back to them via comments on that article, on Facebook pages, in their high school hallways, and home towns?
Did they deserve it? Do they deserve to die for this? Do we say they brought it on themselves and wash our hands of it as a society because we “did our part” in shedding light on their errors?
That wouldn’t make this situation better. And knowing that there are people out there who’ve commented on the Jezebel post and on Facebook pages who would champion that sort of outcome and may be hoping for something like that makes me feel sick.
Team Marinka.
Racial slurs are NOT ok and these “kids” (almost legal teens) deserve everything that comes their way. Maybe, just maybe, they will stop the ignorance.
I am with the author on this. because the perpetrators are teens, the approach should be consequences that TEACH. People aren’t born morally flawed and hateful. They learn to hate. An eye-4-an-eye only perpetuates that hate. The objective should be for these teens to somehow grow up to be open-minded tolerant beings who have overcome racial hatred, not angry depressed or resentful adults who hold even more tightly to their racism. Consequences should be productive, not hateful and spiteful.
When I read the article it made me feel uncomfortable.
Not because their schools were contacted. In fact, that part I was all, YES! Remove them from their teams, suspend them, let them lose their scholarships, whatever. Hopefully they will learn that what they say online is permanent and has very real consequences.
What made me feel uncomfortable was publishing the names and schools of these CHILDREN. Yeah, teens are still children. At least one of them wasn’t even 18 yet. It just felt very… icky… and wrong. AS icky and wrong as what they said.
At that age most teens are just echo chambers for their parents and peers. They should definitely be punished for echoing the wrong thing but I think Jezebel went a little too far this time.
Veronica, Nelly, and Marinka,
You’re being purposely obtuse and intentionally not placing yourself in the shoes of these children. Yes, children.
I’m sure like every other person in this world you have made some mistakes, small and large, public and private, in adulthood and childhood. You’d be irate that your personal information was published for all the world to see if you offended someone (regardless of your intentions). The internet has a short attention span and these “punishments” will be forgotten as quickly as the next shocker pops up on Twitter but the internet also has a long memory and this incident will follow these children for the rest of their lives. Employers will search their names and find some stupid incident from their childhood that may destroy a chance at a job. Why? Because someone decided to be judge, jury, and executioner for an action that while stupid, wasn’t criminal? Because someone decided they were a better parent then the parents of these children?
These children deserve repercussions for their actions but those repercussions need to come from their parents and their educators…not complete strangers on the internet.
I diagree, up to a point. I don’t think Jezebel should have published the names of schools. I don’t think it’s on the schools to notify Jezebel (or anyone else but these kids’ parents) what happened after the notification.
But I do not have a problem with the their hate being exposed. If Jezebel posted the tweets and a different story (“Look at these hateful idiots on Twitter!”), I wouldn’t have cared at all. These kids are learning the consequences of their actions. If you say racist hateful things in a public forum, you will be called out.
It’s so interesting to me that this is happening right now because a week ago, my 11th grade English class wrapped up a 9-week-long unit on whether or not using public humiliation is an effective and appropriate punishment. We read The Scarlet Letter. We read recent articles about parents shaming their kids on facebook and twitter and even out in public (sandwich boards, anyone?) and we talked about why you don’t see “sinners” and criminals put in the public square for anyone and everyone to ridicule and throw hate at.
Every single student in that class agreed that there was a line in the sand where humiliation is not appropriate. And almost every student took the stance in their final projects/papers that it is never EVER a good punishment.
I didn’t lead them to those opinions, by the way. I just gave them the literature.
Anyway, my students–who talked about everything from stealing to bullying to murder–decided after research and discussion that putting someone on “blast” on the internet is wrong.
One student put it this way: before there was internet, people who did or said stupid stuff were handled. People talked about them, yes, but if someone where to put up a sign with those people’s names saying they were horrible, people would make them take it down. They wouldn’t allow it.
They are right.
When I was 18 years old and still in high school (in a VERY small, conservative town), it was my uneducated and uninformed view that homosexuality was disgusting, wrong, and spread AIDS. I had a big mouth and if my opinion was asked, I would flap my ignorant jaw.
Anyone who knows me now would probably not even believe that about me. Those opinions could not be further from my current beliefs. What is different? I left that small town, I went to college, I experienced LIFE and PEOPLE and my heart was opened and educated.
Twitter wasn’t a thing when I was in high school. Had it been I am SURE I would have said something horrible on it. I was DUMB. I was uneducated.
Would you choose to tell me I didn’t deserve to go to college or live it down or have a happy life? I’ll tell you I was insecure enough that if something like this happened to me and there were adults out there making comments that they hoped I would be beaten down by the comments and die? I’m not sure I would have been able to deal with it.
What they did was so wrong it makes my head spin and my heart hurt. But they need to be educated. To say that they can’t change is ridiculous and just a front for someone who is trying to make themselves feel powerful by being sanctimonious.
To cast a scarlet letter on these teens for the rest of their lives for something dumb they said on the internet is ridiculous.
Should they be punished? Yes. They should be dealt with seriously and severely.
But it’s not my place, nor yours, nor anyone other than their parents and their school/community’s job to do so.
Their words make me sick.
But the words of adults who know better are killing me.
Yes. This.
All this is true. Yet in today’s world everything published on the internet or tweeted is public. Articles like this will not change what happens when people make public things that are extremely controversial. Children need to be taught about the nature of the internet like they need to know to look both ways before crossing the street. Writing an article that drivers should watch out for kids will not make the street safer.
right but this article? was pure bullying. Hate will not make hate go away.
No it won’t. But my point is that we have no control over that. Our children need to know that there are no rules about how others respond to what we put out in public. Lamenting that this is true will not change it.
And if a child hurts another (as those tweets most certainly hurt people who have a history in this country of unimaginable pain) they need to know that the response may not be mitigated by whether or not they are young.
I get what you’re saying, and whatever backlash they get on twitter is one thing. But to have an adult “journalist” post their names and schools and other things that will KNOWINGLY get the crazies to say (and possibly DO since they can find these kids thanks to this “journalist”) horrible things to KIDS only does harm. She reported them to the school. That was the right thing to do. She could have written this article without using names to demonstrate the problem of kids and social media. But she used it as a way to attack children.
I’ve been involved in a conversation about this on FB and this is what it finally boiled down to for me:
I keep thinking about Emmet Till who should not have been killed at the age of 14 because he somehow did not conform to the norms of racist Mississippi. By contrast I really can’t get too upset about these teens getting publicly humiliated. Racist words are connected to terror and death. There is no excuse – even ignorance and youth – that will take the pain away for people who know what racism really means.
I find it horrifying that adults respond with hate words to them. But I think what most people are missing that disagree with you is that their BRAINS ARE NOT ADULT BRAINS. Just because of how much they are exposed to at a younger age these days does not make their brains magically mature faster too.
It’s important not to overlook that these teens inflicted pain on other people. Sometimes lessons are harsh. When you put hurtful things out in the world, sometimes the pain you cause makes others want to inflict that pain on you. The history of racism in this country shows us that children of color were not spared even death for any small reason or no reason. Ignorance of this fact is not an excuse.
Lessons can be harsh. These teens can be reprimanded for their actions. They can learn to deal with the consequences of putting hate into the public sphere. All of that can be accomplished without Jezebel making a spectacle and a permanent Google footprint out of this whole thing. I don’t agree with what the teens did. I absolutely think it’s vile and should be dealt with by the people in their life who are in a place to teach such a lesson. Those people do not write for Jezebel.
I think you, in seven sentences, summed up one aspect of my entire post. This is it. This is the key. Jezebel is not in the place to be punishing children.
Simply, Miranda, well-said.