I wrote last night’s post and it felt kind of disjointed even as I was writing it. So when I re-read it and then read some of the comments (which, thank you for those) I felt like perhaps I’d been misleading in my writing by mentioning the Mommy Wars.
Yes, posts about the Mommy Wars were published this week by women I consider my friends.
No, my post about opinions is not based on my desire to respond to either of those posts.
(My whole e-spiral from Monday night actually started because of a post on a message board about The Vampire Diaries. True story. And I only sort of wish I were kidding.)
I referenced those posts because those posts sparked an outpouring of opinions in others, but also because of what I added to the bottom of my post after I remembered what had been my entire point in posting all along while brushing my teeth.
Posts like that, which are based on the opinions and experiences of the author, often leave me feeling like I’ve somehow done something wrong, or am doing something wrong, or will do something wrong. And I have a deep-seeded (seated?) desire not only to not be wrong because I enjoy being right but also, and mostly, because I don’t want to disappoint people.
I am an opinionated people-pleaser.
I think my desire to please others is what keeps me from saying some of the things I really want to say. I’m rational enough to know that while there will be those who will disagree with me, there will likely be those who don’t. But it’s those who will disagree who keep me from speaking up or out on just about anything. And that’s maybe slightly irrational.