So, I had a doctor’s appointment this morning. Taking Joshua with me was actually quite humorous. Like when I took him to the bathroom with me so I could pee in a cup and he kept asking “Where Joshie cup!?!” So there’s that much, at least.
But this appointment was scheduled with Dr. With the NIH Fellowship. Hereafter and forever known as Dr. Blowhard.
He came in and seemed slightly annoyed that Joshua was there, like he’d never seen a small human before. Joshua, as if to give the man his toddler-middle-finger, was a dream child, sitting in the chair the whole time Dr. Blowhard and I “talked” and while we listened for New Girl’s heartbeat.
Joshua was probably more calm than I was. In fact, I know he was.
Dr. Blowhard walked in and said, “So, they did your ultrasound last time. Did you find out the sex?”
Did you fail Chart Reading 101??
Instead I said “Yes, it’s a girl.”
“Oh, congratulations! Did they look at your ovary to assess the cyst we found at the ultrasound in August? I don’t see it in your paperwork anywhere.”
So you CAN read a chart. INTERESTING.
“No, I don’t think so. Actually, no. She didn’t look for it.”
**Hold on to your horses kids. I’m about to lose it.**
“Well, when we do your c-section we’ll take a look.”
WHAT THE MOTHER LOVING LOVE!?!?!?!
” O_O. I AM NOT A C-SECTION. I AM A VBAC.”
“Oh, okay, so you’re a VBAC. Okay.”
“Yes. That’s supposed to be in my chart per Dr. iLike and my last visit.”
“What was the reason for your last c-section?”
::head explosion::
::deep breath::
“Failure. to. progress.”
“Oh, so how far along did you get?”
::more deep breath::
“7-8 centimeters and 90%. And then Dr. Impatient said my water had been broken for 24 hours and it was time to do a c-section.”
“Oh, so you didn’t get stuck at 7 for a while?”
“No. I NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO GET PAST 7-8!”
“Well, we’ll do an attempt at VBAC and I’ll put a note in your chart that we need to follow up on the cyst postpartum. How much did he ::waves hand nonchalantly in Joshua’s general direction:: weigh at birth?”
“9 pounds.”
“Oh, so he was a big baby! Did you have your blood drawn already this morning for the glucose test?”
Uh, no. Because we decided I wouldn’t do that until 28 weeks like normal people and the last doctor to see me didn’t think it needed to be done until then and I trust his judgment more than yours.
Except I just said “No. Dr. iLike didn’t mention it at my last appointment.”
“Well, you were supposed to have that done at 24 weeks and repeated 28 weeks.”
o_o
“We’ll get you the glucose drink before you leave and you can do it at 28 weeks.”
o_o
“If you fail the 1 hour, we’ll have you back in for a 2 hour.”
“Oh, so you’re not doing a 3 hour test anymore?”
“Oh, so you had that done last time? You know, mothers who fail more than one screen are at greater risk for gestational diabetes. Did you have gestational diabetes with your last pregnancy?”
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CAN YOU READ A FACKING CHART?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!? Or is your ability to read a chart limited to only the parts you WANT to read?
Me: “No. I did not. And I passed the 3 hour test perfectly.”
“Well, failing that test is only one indicator of gestational diabetes. You still failed the 1 hour screen and then had a large baby. That’s an indicator of a problem.”
Except it’s not. The 1 hour glucose test is a screening test. The 3 hour test is the real test. Mothers routinely fail the 1 hour test and go on to pass the 3 hour test, which is the actual test. (See also: Me.) If failing the 1 hour test and passing the 3 hour test was an indicator that a mother had gestational diabetes then 1) there’d be no need for the 3 hour test or 2) there’d be no need for the 1 hour test and all mothers would go straight to the 3 hour test. But who am I to point out the fallacy in someone’s logic.
Instead I said: “His dad was a large baby, and is about 6’2″ now. Joshua was 22″ at birth. And he’s a tall almost 3 year old.”
“So some of his size may have been constitutional.”
GEE, YOU THINK?
More polite response: “Yes. I expected he’d be a large baby based on family history.”
At this point I climbed up on the table and laid back and Joshua, sweet boy, just kept sitting in the chair being awesome. Dr. Blowhard felt for my uterus, declared its positioning “perfect” and gooped me up to listen to New Girl’s heartbeat.
“Strong,” he said.
“Like her Mama,” I thought.
At this point, I was completely over being in that room with him. Completely. But I needed to ask him about the recurrent pain in my vagina bone (which I’ve neglected to write about because I’m afraid of what loonies I’ll attract with the phrase “vagina bone.”)
But, because I was there, when he asked if I had any more questions, I asked.
“Well, my only concern is some pain I’ve been having when I stand from sitting or if I’ve been in one position for too long. I sometimes feel like an old lady when I try to walk.”
I indicated the general region where I’m having the pain.
He says “Oh, that’s just your ligaments stretching so that your pelvis can accommodate the fetus.” And he went on to give me a quasi-anatomy lesson about how pregnancy works and how the body changes during pregnancy. While I just looked at Joshua and thought “This ain’t my first rodeo, pal.”
So then I asked another question, apparently because I’m stupid.
“At what point does this pain move from normal to abnormal pain that should concern me?”
“Oh, well, preterm labor is the same as regular labor except it occurs before38 weeks, but we can always try to stop the preterm labor with magnesium. If you’re having more than 4 or 5 contractions in an hour, you need to call us.”
Scccrrreeeeeech.
Yes. That conversation went from one wherein I asked a very specific question about my vagina bone pain to one where he assumes I think I’m in labor. Because every woman who has ever had a pain during pregnancy MUST THINK SHE’S IN LABOR.
o_o
And then he says “I don’t think you’re experiencing preterm labor, but I can check your cervix if you want me to, though it’d really just be exposing you to a lot of unnecessary discomfort right now.”
Uh, no thanks, pal. Really. You’re not coming anywhere near my vagina–ever–if I can help it.
“Uhh, I really don’t think that’s the issue here. I’m pretty certain that I’m not in labor. Or preterm labor. I might have a few Braxton Hicks contractions here or there, but no, I’m not in labor. I’m good.”
So then I, because I cannot help myself, ask him if there are any suggestions for managing the pain.
And then he told me I should be exercising 5 days a week for an hour at a time–brisk walking, swimming, weight lifting.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAH.
o_o
(I’m not laughing about exercising during pregnancy. I should be exercising during pregnancy instead of eating bowls of ice cream and Nerds every night. I know this. But 5 hours a week? In my week? BWHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.)
At this point, he handed me my paperwork and I collected my things and Joshua and I walked down the hall toward the appointment desk. While we were walking, he called out and told me that the fact that I intend to VBAC this baby is, in fact, noted in my chart already, thanks to my conversation with Dr. iLike at the last appointment.
When I scheduled my next appointment, I made sure to tell the receptionist that I didn’t want to see Dr. Blowhard and she said “Is this something I should pass on to The Administrators.”
“Yes.”
So she made a note on a separate piece of paper. I have no idea who The Administrators may be or where that note went or who might see it.
But I will not be seeing Dr. Blowhard again.
(If you finished this, you’re not a douchebag. Unlike Dr. Blowhard. My apologies for the length.)
Things like that? Are why Mommy switched doctors at 30 weeks. She was *routinely* kept waiting for over an hour and a half, only to a 5 minute appointment with someone who CLEARLY had not read her chart – all the more problematic since she had life-threatening complications with me.
I know which practice I’m going to if I leave this one, and thankfully, I still have time.
Um, DUDE, you are one patient woman to put up with Dr. Twenty Questions! I had a bad experience with an OB/GYN during my last pregnancy and I felt very similarly. On the bright side, it sounds like Joshua was a super star!
Joshua was amazing. WAY better than I could’ve hoped he would be. That doctor? Needs to learn to read.
That sounded so intolerable. What a jerk. My favourite line, “as if to give the man his toddler-middle-finger.” LOL. Go, Joshua.
My kid and his passive aggression. Gah. He comes by it honest 🙂
I have to say, you handled that much more maturely that I would have! When I was pregnant for Kenz we had 3 dr’s and a midwife rotation and thank goodness I loved all of them! They read (so they at least learned that in med school) my chart and knew what was going on. I understand Dr’s see a lot of patients and are very busy, but if you tell me I have to wait and extra 2 minutes so you can read my chart and come in to my appointment educated I am ALL for that!
I totally understand that doctors are busy and see a lot of patients. But this was 8:30 in the morning, and like you said, 2 minutes to review my chart? I’m good with that.
There are 5 doctors and 1 midwife in this practice. The midwife is almost exclusively at the hospital delivering babies. (It’s a really small hospital–only 6 L&D rooms, I think.) I like 3 of the 5 doctors. I don’t know what to do with those odds, though.
Those odds would make me nervous. I’m going to guess your hospital is like mine, if I didn’t like my Dr’s I would have to drive 45 minutes to go to the other 2 hospital options around, for appointments and the hospital. We have a small hospital also. I’m also lucky that there is only 1 nurse I HATE (which happens to be my Dr’s nurse :() but I know most of the rest personally and love them. Hope you at least have great nurses!
BTW, did he not realize that the baby in your belly eventually does turn into someone Joshua’s size?!
Hope they get their stuff together before baby decides to come!
There’s one hospital that’s technically closer to me but my doctors don’t practice there. If I leave this office, I’m looking at a 45 minute drive to the doctor I’ll switch to and a drive into downtown to get to the hospital where I’d deliver. Part of me thinks I’d be better off just going ahead and making the switch, but part of me is really scared. I love the nurses at this office (but they aren’t the nurses at the hospital) and I love MY doctor. And I love how close their office is to work/home/daycare. This is hard.
As to whether or not Dr. Blowhard realizes that full grown humans were once babies, I have no idea. But if not, that’s even more proof that perhaps he’s in the wrong line of work.
Ok, so I had The Pain and the answer really is no, there is nothing you can do about it. BUT I had it with BOTH pregnancies – my first, where I sat on the couch and stuffed my face with ice cream and gained 60 lbs and my second, where I WAS actually exercising 60 minutes at least 4 times a week and took excellent care of myself and gained 30 lbs. Of course, that second pregnancy also made me incredibly ill in several different ways and I had to be induced early because of pre-eclampsia and a risk of seizures. So I would say maybe exercise doesn’t prevent ALL pregnancy problems. But no matter how many times I mentioned it to the various doctors/midwives the best answer I ever got was a pamphlet on pelvic stretches and permission to take Tylenol PM at night so I could at least sleep through it.
Uh, sorry, tl;dr version – the pain sucks, take tylenol, lie down as much as possible
I figured there’d be little to be done about The Pain, but I still thought maybe they should know since they’re my doctors and, oh, I dunno, things like that should be noted in a chart somewhere. Except this doctor can’t read a chart, so the chances that he could even bother to record useful information in one are probably nil.
how do you end up with such morons?
and I didn’t realize people didn’t see their own doc every time they made and appointment. Isn’t that what an appointment is for? Weird.
And like everyone else I am all kinds of impressed with your behavior. I would have ripped that guy a new arse hole.
::sigh:: I’m lucky like that, I guess.
And no, you don’t always get to see your own doctor here. There are 5 doctors in the practice and patients are supposed to rotate among the doctors and see everyone at least once because any of them could be on call when you go into labor. I will request the doctors I want to see from here on out instead of going luck-of-the-draw. I’ve seen Dr. Blowhard for my last time.
I’m incredibly calm under pressure. It’s kind of a talent, I think.
What a douchenozzle. Seriously, take a moment and read the chart. How hard is that? I have my GD 1-hr test tomorrow. It sounds like you won’t have to see this guy anymore – no love lost there, right?
Apparently, it’s the hardest part of his job. Good luck on your test tomorrow! And no, certainly no love lost. None.
Is the pain in the front, where the two halves of the pelvis come together? I had really bad SPD w both my pregnancies. I was able to get noticeable relief wearing amber (raw Baltic) and wearing the babybellyband. Worth the cost, the neoprene was awesome! Basically any movement that required moving only one leg was brutal – putting on pants, getting in or out of bed, getting into bathtub.
Yes. That’s exactly where the pain is. I’ll be looking into this belly band thing. The movements you described are sometimes the hardest. It’s not all the time though, but when the pain strikes? Watch out!
Mine started around 19 weeks and amber alone was enough. Around 28 weeks, baby shifted one way and did something, but btw her and me, we knocked my pelvis out of place entirely. After a off hours call to the midwives and not being able to walk for 36 hrs, I was able to realign it myself. I ordered the babybellyband immediately – amazon had the best price. If you are doing the amazon mom program, it counted towards my free months of prime. I was not a believer when I saw it. It’s literally a long neoprene band with Velcro, but it works. Also, because it is neoprene, it doesn’t stretch out as your belly expands.
Fwiw, my pelvis stabilized and it got a bit better around 34 ish weeks, but I also noticed that baby was deep in my pelvis and engaged more often than not…. But it might just be that giant baby sumo wrestler was already out of room and had no where else to be.
Wiki actually had good info. If you can’t manage it, get a referral for physical therapy, which was my next step recommended by the midwives.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Symphysis_pubis_dysfunction
Is the pain in the front, where the two halves of the pelvis come together? I had really bad SPD w both my pregnancies. I was able to get noticeable relief wearing amber (raw Baltic) and wearing the babybellyband. Worth the cost, the neoprene was awesome! Basically any movement that required moving only one leg was brutal – putting on pants, getting in or out of bed, getting into bathtub.
Well I’m glad I’m not a douche bag…contrary to popular belief…kidding…unless there are people who do think I am a douche bag….and if so, then poop on their houses.
Gah, what to say?
This sucks.
I’m sorry that you had to endure that cluster fuckery.
Some doctors just don’t give a real shit. Believe me. I’m in that twilight nightmare myself. I’m just glad that you have Dr. iLike in your corner.
Oh, you’re so not a douche bag. And yes, poop on the houses of those who say otherwise.
If this were the first time I’d endured this, I think I might understand. But since this is the third time I’ve had basically the same conversation with this doctor, I’m all head explode-y about it.
BOO to the Dr. Blowhards in your life, Kim. Boo to them. “A plague on both their houses!”
And thank Cheez-its for the Dr. iLikes of the world.
Dr. Blowhard can suck it. But interesting about the administrators seeing the note. Very interesting.
I love this post! I’m sorry for your experience, but I laughed throughout at your attitude and thoughts. I had a doctor who had ZERO bedside manner when I had my son, so I can relate!
How lucky for women that this asshat chose this noble profession. What a crock – Good for you for refusing more appointments with him.
Holy hell. He sounds like a real piece of work. Sorry you had to deal with him & awesome that you noted you didn’t want to see him again.
As for the stretching pain, I’ve already been having it to especially when I go from sitting to standing quickly. My MFM said it was very normal later in regular pregnancies as things are stretching out & like most of the time with my triplet pregnancy. And he said nothing really to do about it. But water, tylenol. I hope you’re goes away &/or feels better soon!
Okay, that doctor’s just a jerk! Thank goodness he isn’t your primary and you’ll get to get a different doctor next time. And fingers crossed the administrators have a little talk with him about bedside manner!
Oh.Ma.Gah. My eyes started burning with rage, just reading this. I am glad that The Administrators are being informed. And I have some seriously colorful names that I am happy to share with you for what you can call that doctor around other adults. I just won’t type them here, or you’ll have more problems than “vagina bone.” 🙂
wow I’d go crazy!!! Maybe he should read up BEFORE walking in to see you! Plus I never even considered how different it would be to go to a OB appt with a kid! Something to think about in the future…but wow…I’d smack him! (the dr that is) lol
I love reading your blog. 🙂