I’m fairly certain I would not survive a zombie apocalypse

Last year, Dan was all “Hey, there’s this new zombie show coming on this fall and I want to watch it.” And I was all “I LOVE TV. YES.”

So we started watching The Walking Dead and we were instantly hooked.

And really, it’s a great (completely not kid-friendly) show. The accents might be terrible, but the cinematography and special effects and makeup are really well done. It’s the only time I’ve seen zombies portrayed in a truly scary way instead of in some cheesy, campy way that screams “I’m a ‘B’ movie, at best!”

When Season 2 premiered last week, we were elbow deep in the Great Toilet and Carpet Nonsense of 2011. We watched the first episode while we were pseudo-camping in our living room floor last week and the damn thing gave me a nightmare. A nightmare that tells me I would DIE if the world were ever suddenly turned into zombies.

Die, I say. Or, you know, NOT die and become a zombie.

After watching the Season 2 premiere, I had a nightmare about a zombie assassin and trying to save my kid from being food by squishing him between my body and his dresser and willing him not to move or make a peep while being simultaneously worried that I was crushing the breath out of him.

Dan couldn’t kill the zombie because he didn’t have anything to kill it with so the three of us pretty much just had to sit there and not move and bank on the fact that zombies have really awful peripheral vision.

At some point, I woke up, clearly having NOT been killed by this dream-zombie. But I could not bring myself to open my eyes because I KNEW there would be a zombie in my living room staring at my face. My heart was pounding. It didn’t stop pounding until my alarm went off to let me know I’d survived the night and I could get up and go about my day being a living zombie thanks to the no sleep and awful dream.

I told people about my nightmare and they were all horrified at how vivid it had seemed to me. I thought to myself “I don’t know if I can keep watching this show.”

AND THEN I WATCHED THE SHOW AGAIN LAST NIGHT AND PART OF IT WAS IN A HIGH SCHOOL SO NOW I DON’T EVER WANT TO BE ALONE IN THE HALLWAYS.

Because last night I dreamed of what would happen if my school were overrun with zombies. And people, it wasn’t pretty.

Which means I didn’t sleep last night. AGAIN.

So today I’m a real zombie again. Except without that nasty penchant for eating brains. ::shudder::

I thought pregnant women were supposed to have…uh…”sweet” dreams in the 2nd trimester. How come I just get zombies??