When I go anywhere, I’m a pretty meticulous packer. I make a list of what I’m taking with specific item details. The list doesn’t just say “black dress.” It says “faux wrap black dress with five buttons.” (Also? I laugh and roll my eyes when Dan does this. Because he takes my OCD packing nature to a whole ‘nother level.)
When I need to tightly pack many things to save space, I can do it easily. I’m the master of having no dead space. Just ask my roommates about my BlogHer swag and how I got that home. They can vouch for my awesome packing skills.
What I do not remember packing for BlogHer–or even remotely thinking that I needed to pack–is this:

Yeah.
Yes. Yes that is what you think it is.
Yes. Yes I am just as shocked as some of you are.
When I took the test on the Monday morning after BlogHer, I took it kind of on a whim. I was on day 52 of what I thought was an anovulatory cycle. I knew that if I planned to call the doctor around day 60, they’d ask me if I’d tested. So, I grabbed the pee stick out of the cabinet and before I even had a chance to wipe, two lines were there.
Short on time? Save this post for later.
(It's like a bookmark, but...not.)
I kind of laughed in disbelief. Shook the test. Looked again. Yep. Still two pink lines.
Dan was getting Joshua dressed for school so I went into the nursery, pee stick in hand, and when he asked why I had such a funny look on my face, I showed him the test. Shoved it at him, actually. He did the same shocked, disbelieving laugh as me and then high fived me. (What? You don’t high five your spouse over surprise pregnancies?! Oh, wait, you don’t HAVE surprise pregnancies? Yeah. Me neither.)
I wish I could say I immediately did back flips and let out a SQUEE! of joy. But I just kind of went through the morning in complete shock. And the rest of the day. And the day after that. And the day after that.
That shock has been the reason for my radio silence lately. Until we knew some dates, we didn’t want to tell our families. And until we told our families, I couldn’t really write about this. And without writing about this, I’ve been left with zero ways to process this aside from in my own head. Which is a facking awful place for anyone as it turns out.
And as it turns out, I’m pretty much terrified.
yaaaaaaaaaaay congrats!
Ack remind me not to drink your American water. It’s floating with sperm and fertile eggs.
Congrats. Let’s squeee together.
Welcome to the wild side mama! SO happy for you and your lovely family. You cant imagine it now but you will be amazed at how much happier you become. Sounds insane. But I promise its just nuts.
Congratulations! ๐
My daughter was also a surprise. I discovered I was pregnant the day before my husband’s birthday. I wanted to wait, to tell him on his bday, but kind of blurted it out that evening. I couldn’t wait, not even 1 day! I also experienced ALOT of fatigue and “morning” sickness. I don’t think I fully believed that I was pregnant until I heard her heartbeat and saw her, like a little peanut, in the ultrasound. Regardless of how nervous I was to have her, how sick I was throughout my pregnancy, and how scared I was of being responsible for another human being, Sydney was the greatest “surprise” I have ever been given!
I’m so excited for yall. And I think it’s awesome he high fived you. Ha!
Great article, I just given this onto a co-worker who was doing a little research on that. And he in fact purchased me lunch because I discovered it for him
congratulations! and high fives are awesome. just sayin’. ๐
and yeah. this is old. congratulations still! ๐