I’m taking the prerogative to interrupt your regularly scheduled mommy blogging and just get down to business. Because this is serious.
People, I am in search of a Shoenicorn in a Target haystack and I need your help to cast my net a little wider.
My Shoenicorn answers to the name of Elliana. She is a size 9. She is the perfect shade of tan.
I need her in my life.
Except so does everyone else in the entire Target-shopping Universe. Apparently.
In shopping for some back-to-work consolation pieces, I stumbled across this wedge. This perfect, awesome, versatile wedge. And I bought her in silver and then decided that I also had to have her in tan. And so began my prowling of 4 local Target stores with plans to hit up a 5th one today. And calling in the reinforcements on Facebook and Twitter. Reinforcements which span the continent.
(Yes, I’m serious. A friend in California totally checked for me last night. Thanks, Isha!)
I found Elliana in an 8.5 and she is currently sitting patiently in her box. She fits, but she’s tight. She’s like, “your feet should’ve skipped that second helping of mashed potatoes…” tight and not “Wow…you REALLY shouldn’t take the ‘All-You-Can-Eat’ sign seriously” tight.
She’ll WORK. If I can’t find her in a 9. And I’m beginning to think that she was never MADE in a size 9. Thus the Shoenicorn moniker. (Seriously–8, 9.5, 10, 11, 12…WHAT ABOUT THE SIZE 9!?!?!)
She is on clearance in stores. In some places, she’s HALF OFF! In others? 30%. Online? Full-price. And out of stock in my size now because I didn’t realize I’d picked the most popular shoe in the Universe to covet and didn’t buy her online. What a dummy.
I need this shoe.
If you happen to be browsing the aisles at your local Target store and you see her and you feel compelled to purchase her, I will Paypal you the money for her (plus shipping, of course).
Be careful! Don’t look into her eyes for too long or she will suck you in and you will be unable to part with her and then I will be a very, very sad Miranda.
But seriously, if you find her? I have a nice spot in my closet all carved out and ready for her. She will be loved here.
My husband, while admitting to feeling somewhat like a shoe perv, scoured the clearance racks at another Target for me today on his lunch break.
AND HE FOUND THE SHOENICORN.
I owe him big for this one. BIG.
Welcome to your new home, Shoenicorn. You will be loved here.