I sat down in front of the computer twice yesterday evening to write about my day. To talk about how much I enjoyed it. How much I needed it.
And every time I couldn’t find the right words. I kind of don’t think they exist in the English language. And the only phrases I know in any other language are “where’s the bathroom?” and “we’re here for the beer.” (Which are handy phrases to know in conjunction with one another.)
::sigh::
I’m in a much, much better place right now.
(I mean, there’s still naptime to go, thus potential for more shit smearing. o_o )
But right now? I’m good. We’re good.
Today has been good.
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No more lost tabs, random screenshots, or digging through your browser history. Save this post and do future-you a favor.
(It's like a bookmark, but...not.)
We all got a full night’s sleep last night and then we had a playdate with friends this morning (Hi, Jana and Henry!).
My mind is clear and I don’t feel like screaming and throwing things. I don’t feel like quitting or running away.
And my toes are pretty, and that’s always a good thing.
If you're reading this in the middle of it:
I wrote this in 2011. Depression and anxiety haven't changed since, and neither has this: You are not alone, it is not a character flaw, and it does get better.
Some days will be better than others, and bad days don't mean you failed. I had a line tattooed on my wrist years ago as a reminder: Finish each day. That's all you have to do today. Finish it. Tomorrow you get to start over.
If you need someone right now:
- 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call or text. 24/7. Press 1 for veterans, 2 for Spanish, 3 for LGBTQ+ callers.
- Text HOME to 741741 — Crisis Text Line. 24/7.
- If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
For support that isn't an emergency:
- NAMI HelpLine — call 1-800-950-6264 or text NAMI to 62640, Mon–Fri 10am–10pm ET, closed on federal holidays. This is not a crisis line. It's where you go to find a therapist, make sense of a diagnosis, or work out how to help someone you love who won't ask for help themselves. The NAMI website also has local affiliates and free support groups.
Telling one person is the hardest part. Your partner, your friend, your doctor. Say the words out loud. And remember you're not alone.
Yay for good days and pretty toes! I need to go get mine done too. Always perks me up a bit!
Yay. I can think of no better word.
That is awesome news! Glad you’re feeling better and have pretty toes! Have a great long weekend.