That’s pretty much all I’ve got. Just lots and lots of heavy sighs.
This week has been just not great. In fact, it’s been a series of punches to my guts. And there’s still tomorrow to go before it’s “over.”
And 10 more days after that.
So I’m left here with so little TO say about this and yet so much I WANT to say. But I have no way to say those things that are weighing so heavily on my heart.
What do you do when you get like that?
Me? I’m kind of a stuck. This is all I can think about. I’m questioning everything. Looking for explanations where the only explanation is “because it just is.”
I question whether my emotional reaction to these situations and events is as overwhelming as it seems because I’m off my meds. Which leads me to wonder if now was the right time.
Was I crazy to think I could do this during the school year? Should I have waited until the summer?
And yet I KNOW it was the right time.
I know that this? This thing I’m in now? Is in no way related to that Hell I’ve lived and survived.
So here I am, with sighs and a heavy heart and a heavy mind.
::sigh::
mummy@bodfortea
Sunday 22nd of May 2011
So sorry you're going through this my dear. Sending you waves of positive energy and a big virtual (hug) x
Katie
Saturday 14th of May 2011
you KNOW I am thinking about you and I understand what you're going though (ALL of it...even the stuff left unsaid).
It will be ok even though it doesn't feel like it will.
Leighann
Saturday 14th of May 2011
This is my fear a well. I'm not ready to go off my meds but if and when I do I'm afraid I will lose myself worse than I already have. You are strong. So strong. Keep going it will get better.
John
Friday 13th of May 2011
10 days . . . 10 days. In the grand scheme of things, it's a mere drop in the bucket.
It'll be past before you know it.
Miranda
Friday 13th of May 2011
Oh, I know. It will. I can do it.
Jess@Straight Talk
Friday 13th of May 2011
10 more days. You can do it. I promise. And maybe in between or by then I'll pop a baby out for you to look at to give you some happies. I hope.
Miranda
Friday 13th of May 2011
Ooooh, behbeh cheeks that I can e-squish. DO THAT PLEASE.