That’s pretty much all I’ve got. Just lots and lots of heavy sighs.
This week has been just not great. In fact, it’s been a series of punches to my guts. And there’s still tomorrow to go before it’s “over.”
And 10 more days after that.
So I’m left here with so little TO say about this and yet so much I WANT to say. But I have no way to say those things that are weighing so heavily on my heart.
What do you do when you get like that?
Me? I’m kind of a stuck. This is all I can think about. I’m questioning everything. Looking for explanations where the only explanation is “because it just is.”
I question whether my emotional reaction to these situations and events is as overwhelming as it seems because I’m off my meds. Which leads me to wonder if now was the right time.
Was I crazy to think I could do this during the school year? Should I have waited until the summer?
And yet I KNOW it was the right time.
I know that this? This thing I’m in now? Is in no way related to that Hell I’ve lived and survived.
So here I am, with sighs and a heavy heart and a heavy mind.