I started my Lady Times on Sunday afternoon.
On my own.
For only the third time since 2008.
I am super-mega pumped about this in a way that I have not been super-mega pumped to start a period since that one time when…well…since only one or two other times I can think of ever in my life that may not be appropriate to share here because my mother reads this blog.
Why am I excited about the Lady Times?
Because this means that maybe, just maybe, the PCOS isn’t going to screw with me again. Maybe.
I had a “normal” length cycle that ended with its very own period that wasn’t brought on by medications.
Maybe, just maybe, I won’t have 60+ day cycles and grow a mustache. (Truth. I sprouted facial hair the last time I stopped taking the pill. Lip-waxing is enough reason for me to pump my body full of synthetic hormones FOREVAH.)
Don’t get ahead of yourselves. We’re in negotiations. This isn’t a done deal.)
The what-ifs of this charting business make me somewhat neurotic. (If by “somewhat” I mean “completely.” Which I totally mean.)
I wake up every morning at 5:30, even on the weekends, and take my temperature. Without moving anything except for the arm that reaches for the thermometer and brings it back to my mouth. Sometimes I may even hold my breath. Or curse in my head if I can’t find the thermometer easily.
And then I wait for what seems like an eternity to hear the beep of the thermometer.
And then I use the light from my phone to read the thermometer screen. I’m maybe more excited about this part of the process than I should be considering it’s happening at 5:30 in the morning. But I can’t help it. I want to see what my temperature has done from the day before.
I want to know so bad I input my temperature and sync to the web and look for a spike or a dip. AT 5:30 IN THE MORNING. When the thermometer has memory recall and I could just do it at a more normal time. Like NOT 5:30 in the morning. On Saturday.
And as I analyze that chart, I ponder whether my mouth had been open when the alarm went off. Or was I too hot or too cold last night. Or did Joshua wake up. Was I bloated? Did I have cramps? What about break-outs? Gas?
And then I analyze and email friends and have them analyze.
And I’ve only been doing this for 34 days. But in 34 days? I’m a full-blown neurotic charter again.