Here’s a warning before you get any further into this post.
If you are my Uncle Terry or a man NOT married to me, or a wayward student who has randomly found me (please God not that), or someone who is skeeved out by talks of vaginas and periods and other gross things, don’t read this post.
And I might say the “eff” word, or a quasi-“eff” word.
So if you’re my mother and you keep reading, no pearl clutching.
Mmkay? Proceed.
I’m facking pissed, people.
I started my period today. 19 days after I started the last one. If you’ve been around here for any length of time (and there’s what, three of you in this category?) you know that exactly three years ago today, I was diagnosed with PCOS.
This is pretty much what happened then, too.
Basically, I went off the pill and then didn’t have a period for over 60 days. Then I started having a period every ten to twelve days.
I would be all out and about and having a grand ol’ time and then, oh, what’s that? My period. Again. For the third time in a month-ish.
So I went to the doctor and he did a transvaginal ultrasound with the condom-covered camera and found that my ovaries look like bunches of grapes. He put me on progesterone which caused me to sweat like a whore in church.
(Just so you know? I still sweat like that. Three years later.)
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Suddenly, I had a reason for the pubescent break-outs and facial hair. (Hot, right?)
PCOS? Was the most not awesome thing I could imagine happening to me aside from that first postpartum poo where I needed an epidural and broke the toilet.
Three years ago, I was writing about my diagnosis with mild infertility. Struggling to call it that, even, because my experience pales in comparison to that of others who travel much, much harder, longer roads than we did.
(Can I pause for a minute to point out that this is National Infertility Awareness Week and if it is always the last week of April each year that means I was diagnosed during NIAW and am experiencing those same symptoms, once again, during NIAW? Can we just revel in that little nugget of full-circle for a minute?)
What’s great–and by “great” I mean “not even close to great”–is that I thought I’d be ovulating today according to my chart.
Obviously, my vagina and reproductive system hate me. So that ovulating thing? Is just not happening.
Stubborn betches, those ovaries.
Tonight I ate my feelings by way of a Quarter Pounder with Cheese and some salty fries.
There might be jelly beans in my future.
There will definitely be wine. And Advil. And a heating pad. Because MY GOD the cramps.
But really? I just want to cry.
oh friend.
this just blows. TOTALLY blows.
So now you have to go back to the doc and go on progesterone? Ugg. I was on that with Eddie and it made me puke so hard I burst blood vessels in my eyes.
Boo.
I don’t know about the progesterone yet. I know I’ll have to have lots and lots of bloodwork done, though.
Awesome.
That just straight up sucks. Feel better, mama. Here’s hoping your ovaries stop being such twatwaffles right quick
First of all, thank you for twat-bombing my comments 🙂
Second of all, thanks.
I’m so sorry! But I bet that quarter pounder tasted good? It sounds good…
Anyway, TTC sucks. Don’t beat yourself up! And go get yourself some Ben and Jerry’s while your at it – at least, that was always my “welcome AF, I hate you” tradition.
Here’s to double fudge chocolate brownie B&J or double quarter pounders! ((hugz))
It tasted so good. Amazing, really.
And we’re not actively TTC yet.
But my go-to for a negative is wine. But wine’s my go-to for everything, so I don’t think it counts.
Ugh. Ugh. That totally sucks monkey balls. Ovaries can be such a pain in the stomach. I hope your ovaries shape up soon!!!
It does suck monkey balls. And me too.
boooooooo. ((((((()))))
Thanks for the hugs. 🙂
Aww, that totally sucks. TTC can be a betch! ((Hugs)).
We’re not actively TTC yet. But yeah, this is still not fun. 🙁
This does blow!! Hopefully you don’t get too sick if you have to go on meds this time.
Fingers crossed.
I didn’t get sick. Just sweaty. Lots and lots of sweaty. 🙁
sorry honey 🙁
Thanks. :/
I’m right there with you today. Doing the heating pad thing for now. Hoping I don’t need the tylenol.
I’m sorry! I hope your doctors can get things sorted out & regular for you soon.
Hey Miranda! I have PCOS too! It totally sucks! Have they put you on Metformin? I don’t have insulin resistance problems, but it has really helped regulate things down there, AND it helps you lose weight which is a perk I like most about it!