Yep. Still Hellmonth. Still busy. Still trying to stay sane.
So, today’s guest blogger is here to help!
Y’all give a big welcome to Dana from The Sears Fam.
Dana, like so many other mamas, is a survivor mama. She battles PPD and PPA, too. She and I met during a #PPDChat on Twitter (God, I love Twitter!) and when I sent out the call for guest bloggers, she was one of the first to respond.
Dana is a Boy Mom x 3! (Holy dump trucks, Batman!) All of Dana’s sons have some sort of special needs. You can read more about Dana and her family here and you can read about Mason, the Sears’ middle son, by reading about his riddle. (Go look at that picture of that sweet family and that sweet boy Mason and tell me your heart doesn’t just swoon from the cute! I mean, his hair is spiked! I DIE FROM THE CUTE!)
In her spare time, Dana has a design blog, Designs by Dana, and she is currently hosting her first giveaway for a little bloggy pick-me-up! So go enter to win, y’all!
Without further ado, here’s Dana’s guest post about how social media is helping bring her back!
How does one really write about herself?
Ok us Mommy Bloggers write about ourselves all the time, but what if someone asks you to write about “you”? Do you know what you would want to share? I do.
I am part of the “Not Super Mom” Group.
Us Mom’s cannot be expected to do everything right all the time can we?
Glad you agree.
Lately I have fallen apart.
I was once a “Super Mom in Training” I am no longer.
But really I don’t care too much.
Some of my darkest secrets, you ask?
- I have not cleaned my own bathroom toilet for one month & counting.
- It is my Son’s 5th birthday in 13 days & I have not planned anything yet.
- I never wash the clothes. I leave them for Hubz and I have 7 loads & counting to fold.
- I have three months of medical paper work stacked on my desk & it’s like 3 feet high. (Ok I’m maybe exaggerating a little.)
- I never clean up after dinner; I leave it for the next morning.
You get the idea.
I once was a mom who had it all together. I had a planner with chores, meals and appointments all set out for months at a time. I kept up with my coupon clipping and never had a list of things that needed to be done for more than two days. I would ask for help if I needed it, and I would go out with my friends for fun “Girl’s nights.”
I no longer “perform” any of those “perfectionist” duties I had. I have let go, but the anxiety still tortures me day by day. I will never be good enough nor will anything I do. Anybody else have this problem?
I once was happy and I handled the day to day stress of our lives. What God has given us is hard, but we could get through it. I was positive and our hardships were not going to beat me.
Lately, I have felt extremely beaten. I have felt used and abused from every direction possible.
Social Media has helped save me.
It is a “corny” story, but I have to tell it.
I started blogging after watching Julie & Julia I thought it would be fun.
Turned out it was not only fun, but it has been a form of therapy.
Twitter was a “hidden secret” I had no idea about. When I finally caught the Twitter bug it turned out to be a new “good” in my life. We had lost everyone around us except one friend due to my son and our situation. I have met people on twitter and they have become more than I could ever ask for in a friends.
At this time we know Mason’s needs, but we have no formal diagnosis of why he is special. Because of this we have no funding for Mason and his costs for feeding alone are just under $40,000 a year. If we were to give Mason all that the specialists say he needs, his costs would be just under $200K a year. Mason’s story is complicated, but let’s just say I have six full time jobs. Most days I run on three to four hours sleep and I am tired. The last thirty months have changed our whole lives and recently we lost who our son once was. I miss him. I miss his happiness. His smile. It is very stressful. My third child was born with some of the same issues as Mason, but not to Mason’s degree. It has been a long thirty months. The future is so unknown.
In comes Twitter again.
The other day I came across a chat. #PPDChat. I started following the chat and it hit me. I had known for awhile. But with our situation with Mason, telling of such things was not exactly the best option. Or so I had thought.
The last few weeks of stress, waiting for results and dealing with Mason’s spiraling mental & physical health had finished me. So I hopped onto #PPDChat again to actually chat. The women in this “world” are amazing and because of them I am getting help.
Today, I feel liberated. My spirit is lighter and my mood bearable. I know that in no way am I better. I have a long road to go and Mason’s issues are going to be very long term. The stress is going to be long term. My life has changed; it is not what I pictured. But I love my sons and I must get better for them. I must get better for my Hubz. I have started to get help through meds and I start yoga in a few days. I am excited to become that Mom who has it all going for her again.. I’m excited to be “Me.”
I feel positive that I am going to be happier again. When life knocks me down I am going to be able to get back up.
Raising three sons is not easy. Raising a child with special needs in not easy. But I can do it.
I don’t know why I chose to write this for you to read. I guess I felt I need to share the impact you can have on someone. All it took was for a few ladies on Twitter to stand behind me. Support me. Love me. Not judge.
Postpartum is real. It hurts. It debilitates. And it ultimately can ruin your life. Don’t let it win.
I am going to beat this disease.
I am going to win!