Our first night without Dan here was successful. Thank God!
I was remarkably calm all day yesterday. I think because I had to be. I didn’t really have a choice. Someone had to take care of Joshua and since Dan wasn’t coming home, that someone was me. I can’t exactly expect Annie to bathe him, feed him, and put him to bed, can I? I mean, she’s good for the occasional foot lick, and she does give good hugs, but the lack of opposable thumbs means she’s probably not going to be able to hold the bottle very well.
Joshua and I took a trip to Wal-Mart yesterday, just for a change of scenery. He was great in the car and in the store. We alternated between playing, napping, and eating all day long. He did start to get fussy when it got close to bath time, but it wasn’t bath time yet, so I held him and stood up in front of the TV with him (horrible, I know…) and he seemed a little more content than he was any time I tried to put him down.
Putting him to sleep was a little tricky. We’re doing a modified Ferber plan to get him to fall asleep on his own. (Go ahead and yell at me. I’ve got my big girl panties on. I can take it.) I fed him his bottle, bounced with him for a little bit on the exercise ball, laid him down in the bed, said “goodnight” and walked out of the room. A few seconds later, he was screaming. Not crying–screaming. There’s a difference with him.
I gave it five minutes, went back in to his room–this is where I differ from Ferber–I picked him up, bounced on the exercise ball a bit more, then laid him back down. He screamed even louder and got even more mad. He was throwing a tantrum. At four months old.
Dr. Ferber would have me NOT pick him up to soothe him, but all that does is make him even more angry. He just lays there looking at me like “Moooommmm….the crib is EATING ME ALIVE! GET ME OUT! PLEASE! HELP! NOW!” and then he smiles at me and then gets the “boo-boo face” look and then starts screaming again. So, I pick him up.
Anyway, after his second round of telling me what a horrible job he thinks I’m doing as a mother because I won’t rescue him from the baby-eating crib, I picked him up again and he settled instantly. When I laid him down the third time, he rolled his head to the side and went right to sleep. I went right to the kitchen to pour myself a nice, big glass of Sauvignon Blanc.
I went to bed around 10:00 and Joshua made his first peep around 11:45. By the time I got to his bedroom door, he was quiet, so I tiptoed back to bed. He woke up again around 1:30 and I knew it was time to go feed him. (I have reasons for keeping up a night feeding, but I’ll save that for a different post.) So, I nursed him and he went back to sleep. I returned to my bed and he kept making peeps at odd intervals, but by the time I’d wake up and get my glasses on to look at the clock, he had stopped making noises. At one point, I actually went into his room and he was fast asleep.
He woke up at 5:30 and had rolled himself over and busted out of his swaddle. I reswaddled him, nursed him, bounced him back to sleep, and he slept until 9:00 this morning. HOLY CRAP do I feel like a new woman! It’s amazing what sleep can do.
He’s on his first nap of the day now and we did a little crying to get him there. (Well, he yelled at me again. I sat in the living room wringing my hands until I could go in and check on him.)
Day one was a success. Here’s hoping day two goes just as well.