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Please pass the wine

June 23, 2011 by Miranda 26 Comments

For really good reasons (like, I have a room at BlogHer to pay for and I need to buy pants thanks to the “Summer Spread” and my laptop is still broken) Joshua and I aren’t leaving the house much these days.

Because when we leave the house we spend money.

On stupid things like food he won’t eat and things I don’t REALLY need. Like stationery. Or $5 coffees.

So we’re mostly staying at home because it’s a billion degrees outside so playgrounds are out. And we are going NUTS.

NUTS, I say.

We got out yesterday and went for an in-home play date with a friend and that was a welcomed reprieve from being trapped at home.

This morning? He amused himself by unrolling the toilet paper from the stand in the bathroom and flipping the lights on and off because he can reach them. And then he ran back and forth from room to room going “AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” and waving his hands in the air like he was on the run from a hairy gorilla monster. Or me.

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I? Almost joined in. Because I was kind of losing my mind.

And then naptime got here and I thought “Ahhh, sweet relief.” And it was.

And then he woke up and he was all “AAAAAAAAHHHHHHWAAAAAHHHHWANTICENOWWAAAAAAHHH” freaking out until his Daddy got home. And then? Joshua amused himself by spinning in circles until he got so dizzy he couldn’t stand up straight. And he just fell over and laughed.

Again? I almost joined in with him. Because WHY NOT?

::sigh::

We need a new plan. STAT.

But for now I am going to go drown douse my crazy in wine and Weeds. There may or may not be cookies.

Filed Under: Motherhood

Previous Post: « When you can’t just say no
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Law Momma says

    June 23, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    Sounds like you need a trip to Macon…. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 24, 2011 at 8:14 am

      Oooh. Maybe I do.

      Reply
  2. Kimberly says

    June 23, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    You DO need a new plan! I don’t know what it would entail…but you need to get out before you go stark raving mad!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 24, 2011 at 8:15 am

      I think I passed stark raving mad three episodes of Dora ago. I’m stockpiling my skymiles for a stay at the crazy house.

      Reply
  3. Erin says

    June 23, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    Story time at the library! It’s one of our faves. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 24, 2011 at 8:16 am

      I have a fear of libraries. I’ll have to explain sometime.

      Also? Storytime? Not Joshua’s favorite thing and a maaaaaajoooor stress inducer for me.

      Reply
  4. molly says

    June 23, 2011 at 9:54 pm

    That does not sound fun. Are there any air-conditioned places you could go to just let him run wild? Like a mall with a play place? Or heck, even a mcdonald’s? You could get ice cream and hopefully some other kid would act worse than yours and it would make you feel like mom of the year.

    That always seems to help me ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Pass the wine.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 24, 2011 at 8:17 am

      HEHEHE. I like the way you think.

      And yes, I do think we’re going to hit the indoor playground today. And I’ll just cross my fingers that he’ll actually play instead of if just being he and I sitting on the bench like usual.

      Reply
  5. Suz says

    June 23, 2011 at 10:30 pm

    Oh wow. You, your neighborhood or any friends have a pool? Inside games or a slip-n-slide?
    Or maybe just lots of wine. ๐Ÿ˜›

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 24, 2011 at 8:17 am

      If we had a pool in our neighborhood this would not be a problem. I would be there every. single. day. Without fail.

      Our next house must have either 1) a pool in the backyard or 2) a neighborhood pool. MUST. (Do you hear that, Dan?)

      Reply
  6. Kimberly says

    June 23, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    Cookies make things less crazy…well in my world anyways ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 24, 2011 at 8:19 am

      Cookies make things less crazy in everyone’s world.

      Reply
  7. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com says

    June 23, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    HA! Kimberly’s comment cracked me up.

    I think the key is leaving the house without money or ATM cards. That’s what we do. We spend so much time at the park and visiting the library and hiking and doing other free things that it’s obscene. But honestly it isn’t going to help with the mindnumbing part. Unraveling a toilet paper roll vs. spotting a kid on their seventieth time down the slide vs. listening to an over-enthusiastic rendition of Where The Wild Things Are after you read it at home sixteen times last night = about equal.

    Good luck!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 24, 2011 at 8:21 am

      I would love to go to the park to get some fresh air, but it’s so hot out that it borders on unhealthy after about 10 minutes. The plan is to go to the indoor playground and hope for the best.

      And you’re so right about the mindnumbing. There’s only so many times I can be all “YAAAAYYYY!!!” because he went down the slide by himself before I start to wish I’d recorded myself the first time when the excitement was genuine.

      Reply
  8. MamaRobinJ says

    June 24, 2011 at 12:39 am

    I hate those days. Hate hate hate. Is there a mall with an indoor playground you can go to? Pet store visit?

    I know, trapped. It’s so hard.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 24, 2011 at 8:22 am

      I think we’ll be hitting up the mall playground today. We have to. HAVE.TO.

      Reply
  9. story says

    June 24, 2011 at 7:27 am

    Someone already suggested the library, which is my go-to. They make it pretty hard to spend money there. But the mall or chic-fil-a ( I know, I know, the money and the food) are also good ideas. Or can you do some kind of water-play in your yard? With hoses or sprinklers or little water guns?

    And cookies? Are good. Very good.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 24, 2011 at 8:25 am

      I now have to tell the story about the public library and how I’m slightly irrational. But yes, they do make it hard to spend money. Except in my case.

      I think the mall is where we’re headed.

      Reply
  10. Alison@Mama Wants This says

    June 24, 2011 at 9:17 am

    Two words: Indoor playground!

    Another two words: Coffee. Wine.

    Good luck!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 24, 2011 at 11:58 am

      Two words: Yes. Please.

      ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  11. John says

    June 24, 2011 at 3:30 pm

    I’m stopping and picking up cheap red wine, oranges, grapefruit, and apples for sangria on my way home. And I’m locking myself in my basement after the kids go to bed and watching cheesy horror flicks.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 25, 2011 at 8:29 am

      Mmm. Sangria.

      Reply
  12. Grace @ Arms Wide Open says

    June 24, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    are the malls indoors? air conditioned? Leave your credit cards and cash at home and just go let him run around like crazy. bring some cars or balls. Who cares what people think. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      June 25, 2011 at 8:30 am

      We have two local malls with indoor play areas, but the problem with going is that most of the time he won’t play. He just clings to me and refuses to go play on the climbing things. So I end up in a bad mood because it feels like a wasted trip. BUT–it’s on the list of places to go when we absolutely must bust out of the house.

      Reply
  13. Dawana says

    June 25, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    A. I feel your pain. Seriously.
    B. I think I need to start watching Weeds, which means I’d need to Netflix them from Season 1. Is it awesometastic?

    Reply
  14. April Queen says

    June 27, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    I hope you had cookies! You deserved them! Those days are so hard when you stay in. I am trying to remember what my kids did. They are teenagers now, but I remember wanting to pull my hair out!

    Reply

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