Lately every time I sit down to my computer and open ye olde WordPress dashboard I feel…silly. Like this blog is frivolous and there are far too many important things in my life and in the world for this to even begin to matter. (But on some level it does matter. It’s six years of my life.)
It’s been so long since I’ve made time for myself and written regularly here that I’ve forgotten how, or at the very least I’ve forgotten what to come here and say. I feel like I’m having an identity crisis lately.
Do I write about mom stuff? Do I pour my heart out about living with anxiety? Talk about the good things happening in our life? The chaotic? The not so good? Share information about the things I’m loving right now?
All of the above?
Sure. I could talk about any and all of those things, but do they matter?
What could I possibly say right now that anyone would want to read? Should it even matter if anyone reads it?
I have ideas and I have some time in which I could write those things down but they all feel trivial. Fluffy things that aren’t important in the grand scheme of things. I want to do more than write fluff.
I feel like I’ve forgotten how to write for myself.
At Type A, I mentioned to Megan Jordan that I’m stuck. There are lots of things I want to talk about but none of them are things that I can talk about. They’re not my stories alone and sharing them could cause hurt to people I love, or at the very least misunderstanding. So I haven’t written because I can’t and it’s causing everything to back up inside me.
I’ve been word-blocked for so long it’s like I don’t even know how to start again. How do you get back on the horse after falling off when the horse has run away?
I need help, writer/blogger friends. I need to know how you keep going when you feel a compulsion to write but can’t make yourself do it.
Help unblock me.