I hadn’t been to The Happiest Place on Earth in over a week, so today Emma and I packed up and headed out. We browsed. She snoozed. We bought.
(I’m talking about Target, people. Sheesh.)
And then I went out to my car to find some jackass had double parked her minivan and made it damn near impossible for me to get Emma into the car seat.
If you can't park it, DON'T DRIVE IT.
But this double parking shenanigan wasn’t the worst offense I witnessed while walking the aisles of my favorite store.
That title goes to the people on the cereal aisle who decided to curse like it was their job. Loudly. So that I could hear them two aisles over. And curse at the women who asked them to stop.
Yes, I’m serious. Allow me to recount this for you now. Complete with cursing so close your eyes if you don’t like it.
Here’s the scene.
I’m browsing the cereal, wondering which one would go best with my vanilla almond milk. Out of nowhere I hear “Target fucking sucks.” So my first thought is “Well, then why are you shopping here, you idiot?” But they continued “Fuck this!” and “Fucking fuck.” And I’m all curious because this doesn’t sound like a kid and sounds very much like a 20-something and I’m heading toward the end of that aisle when I hear the murmurings of someone else asking them, politely, to watch their language. More politely than I probably would’ve because Teacher Miranda was coming out and Teacher Miranda Does.Not.Play.Games.
And then I heard it.
“Fuck you. Go fuck yourself.”
Wait, hold up. Does he kiss his mother with that mouth??
That was the guy’s response to the person who asked him to stop cursing.
I was still two aisles over and I heard it plain as day.
Short on time? Save this post for later.
No more lost tabs, random screenshots, or digging through your browser history. Save this post and do future-you a favor.
(It's like a bookmark, but...not.)
When I rounded the corner, a gentleman was telling a Target employee about the incident so that she could take care of it. And either she took care of it or they high-tailed it out of the grocery section because I never caught a glimpse of them. But I did see the woman who asked them not to curse.
She was a mom with two kids in her cart. A mom who was visibly flustered by what had just transpired as she tried to stop the fight over a seat belt that had just broken out between her toddlers.
She was a mom protecting her kids while she shopped for groceries.
I’m not really a prude about language. I’ve been known to drop the F bomb once or a hundred times. (Sorry, Mama.) And I don’t think that we should necessarily stop saying the things we’d say in private when were in public just because we’re in public.
But here’s the deal.
If you truly believe that the appropriate reaction in this situation is to tell someone to go fuck themselves, I question your humanity and ability not to be a douchebag. In fact, I don’t even think it’s possible for you NOT to be a douchebag and you’ve just planted yourself firmly in that category. For life.
It’s not an assault on your character if someone asks you to stop saying “fuck” while she’s grabbing Goldfish crackers for her kid.
It’s not an assault on your personal liberties if someone asks you to stop cursing so loudly China can hear you.
It’s not even an attempt to rain on your “look at me, I’m young and single and don’t have kids” parade.
It’s just a question. A request. A simple one.
And the only appropriate response in this situation, at least from where I’m sitting, is “Oh, I’m sorry.” Or even the less-committed, quasi-apology “my bad.” Or even saying nothing at all and just walking away.
Moral of the story: Don’t be a douchebag. Or a double-parking jackass.
Because apparently I’m turning into an 80 year old man shaking a cane at the unrulies, I was recently reading the city ordinances online to see what exactly I could call the cops for, I recently discovered that cursing in front of women in children is illegal in my city. I’m going to print that out on cards and start handing it out to loudmouth youths.
That is just awesome 🙂
I snorted at the image of you with a cane. Also, where can I get one?
I am convinced that people don’t know what being considerate and polite means anymore. I don’t understand it either. Where did we go wrong that now it is acceptable to act like a DB whenever you feel like it? Sorry you had such a crappy day. And that mama that spoke to them, good for her. I probably would have lost it if someone said that to me in front of my kids…
I blame Jersey Shore.
No, seriously. I do.
It amazes me how people have to respect for themselves when out in public. Proud of the person who spoke up and asked them to stop! Hope your day got better.
My day was actually good. That was just a blip.
The sad part is, that the man that was cussing probably had such an awful life that they thought every single person hated them and took that mom asking him to stop cussing as a judgement. Which is even more sad cause that man might grow up and have kids. And the cycle will continue.
I agree that they probably did take it as a judgment. My hope is that they look back on it one day when they have kids and feel like a tool for being so rude.
Man. Where the heck is the fist pump button for this post? YES. I love this. What is wrong with people – honestly?
No idea. NONE at all.
It’s situations like this where I fail as a parent because I would have banged that person’s car up getting my baby securely into her car seat. SAFETY FIRST!
And when I saw those kids I would have said “Are you fucking serious?! Shut the fuck up, we’re in fucking Target!”
LOL. I love you.
Jennifer, made me laugh … and wish I was like you!
I’m with Amy. Let the cane shaking begin. Cane Shanking even, for those jerks.
Canes for everybody! But not blue old-lady hair.
I was near certain that this was going to be a “don’t be like John Batzer” post — but, damn, that cursing mother-effer was a douchebag.
Wow.
Wasn’t he, though?
(You are so not a douchebag.)
LOVE THIS!
LOL!
I thought you might!
Oooooo I get all mama bear about this sort of stuff, even when my own kids aren’t around. I might swear and yell in private but I would be ASHAMED TO DEATH to have someone hear me in a store AND have them say something to me. DEAD. OF SHAME. I need a cane to join the brigade.
I didn’t used to. I’d side-eye the person, but my hackles didn’t get raised. But the ashamed to death part? YES!
Let’s bedazzle those canes.
That parking scenario happened to me when Luke was two and I was 8 months pregnant with G. It was so bad I had to go in the other door of the back seat and buckle him in because I could not even get between the cars. I had to get in through the passenger side to get to the driver’s seat. You don’t know how bad I wanted to wait and tell them to f*** off! Ha!
The parking thing. OMG. How could she NOT SEE that she was double parked and think “Oh, you know? I should fix this!”
GRRR.
haha i love you!
Love you too!
Awesome. People cease to amaze me with their ignorance. Now I’m curious as to wait even made them swear so much at Target anyways. lol
I have no idea. NO IDEA. But whatever it was? It couldn’t have been worth all that nonsense.