Growing humans is hard, yo

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I mean, perhaps I should say growing A human is hard (yo) but I feel like humanS fits since technically I’ve already grown ONE human and that was hard too. Because as of my routine, pants-on check-up today, there’s still only one human in my uterus thankthesweetbabyJesus.

(Also cue the baby-Jesus-thanks for not having to disrobe from the waist down and have my space invaded.)

I signed in, made a bee-line for the bathroom, peed in the cup (clean catch, whatwhat!?) and returned to the waiting room to, you know, wait.

Eventually I was called back to a room to meet with Dr. NIH Fellowship. He shook my hand enthusiastically and gave me a firm pat on the shoulder. (Also weird.) Because every time he comes into the room, he comes in like you’re his long-lost BFF. Except he remembers nearly nothing about you for at least 5 minutes.

He started talking about how at my next appointment at 20 weeks we’ll do the anatomy scan to measure all the baby’s parts and how my file is marked to have the glucose tolerance test then because prior to my first pregnancy, I was slightly insulin resistant as a result of or as a contributing factor to my PCOS.

So I said “You know, I really don’t understand that, because…”

To which he sort of cut me off and said, “Yeah, you’re a c-section…”

To which I immediately cut him off and said “No, I’m a VBAC. But I’ve had no bloodwork that’s shown insulin resistance since my last child, so I don’t understand why I need to start testing for this at 20 weeks.”

He then asked “How much did your first baby weigh?”

Me: “About 9 pounds.”

Him: “And why did you have the c-section?”

To which I wanted to reply, “DOES NO ONE AROUND HERE READ A FACKING HOSPITAL REPORT?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?!?!?” but to which I actually said “Failure to progress, except it was really that I wasn’t progressing as quickly as…”

And then he remembered the last time I was there, a mere 4 weeks ago. A visit during which Dan and I asked him about his thoughts on VBAC and he dodged the question and started spouting off statistics and “if this…then…” kinds of things and saying things like “it’s never happened to me, but….” and “when it goes bad, it goes bad quickly….” and “TORT reform…” and all I heard was “Look, lady, I’m going to tell you you can VBAC, but the minute I don’t like the way that labor goes, we’re slicing and dicing, mmkay?”

Because that’s what I heard 4 weeks ago and the fact that he assumed, based on my history, that I’m a repeat c-section means that he has no intention of being supportive of me VBACing this baby.

I understand that doctors see a LOT of patients and they cannot remember everything about everyone, but for the love of Cheez-its, can someone please make a note of this? Somewhere? And perhaps refer to it before walking in the door?

Vee. Back. VBAC.

(Whew. I got a little off-topic and ranty there, didn’t I? My apologies folks. Can you tell this is a topic that gets me going?)

The result of today’s visit are that everything’s all peachy. Except my skin, nails, and eyelids, which are pale. Because I’m anemic. Or at least I was today. Or the doctor said I was today. But then I told him I was starving at that moment and he seemed to take that as an acceptable reason for why I might be so pale.

(Though, the more I read about this anemia thing, the more my ridiculous fatigue makes sense.)

Dr. NIH Fellowship just wants to keep an eye on it and instructed me to get more iron in my diet to see if that will straighten things out before we go the route of supplements.

While I was laid back on the table and he was feeling on my flab for my uterus, he reached up with one hand and, like, pinched my cheek. Like something a grandma or a Great Aunt Ethel would do. It was…bizarre? to say the least.

He listened for the heartbeat and said “Sounds like a champ!” and then I was free to go (with one more enthusiastic pat on the shoulder) and get my blood taken. Again.

I swear my OBs office is inhabited by vampires, what with the 20, 24, and 28 week glucose tests someone ordered and the fact that I have not yet had a single appointment where there has not been a blood draw. Not a single one.

And then I made an appointment for the 20 week ultrasound. Which was maybe the highlight of the entire appointment.

Place your bets, people. Pink or blue?