I mean, perhaps I should say growing A human is hard (yo) but I feel like humanS fits since technically I’ve already grown ONE human and that was hard too. Because as of my routine, pants-on check-up today, there’s still only one human in my uterus thankthesweetbabyJesus.
(Also cue the baby-Jesus-thanks for not having to disrobe from the waist down and have my space invaded.)
I signed in, made a bee-line for the bathroom, peed in the cup (clean catch, whatwhat!?) and returned to the waiting room to, you know, wait.
Eventually I was called back to a room to meet with Dr. NIH Fellowship. He shook my hand enthusiastically and gave me a firm pat on the shoulder. (Also weird.) Because every time he comes into the room, he comes in like you’re his long-lost BFF. Except he remembers nearly nothing about you for at least 5 minutes.
He started talking about how at my next appointment at 20 weeks we’ll do the anatomy scan to measure all the baby’s parts and how my file is marked to have the glucose tolerance test then because prior to my first pregnancy, I was slightly insulin resistant as a result of or as a contributing factor to my PCOS.
So I said “You know, I really don’t understand that, because…”
To which he sort of cut me off and said, “Yeah, you’re a c-section…”
To which I immediately cut him off and said “No, I’m a VBAC. But I’ve had no bloodwork that’s shown insulin resistance since my last child, so I don’t understand why I need to start testing for this at 20 weeks.”
He then asked “How much did your first baby weigh?”
Me: “About 9 pounds.”
Him: “And why did you have the c-section?”
To which I wanted to reply, “DOES NO ONE AROUND HERE READ A FACKING HOSPITAL REPORT?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?!?!?” but to which I actually said “Failure to progress, except it was really that I wasn’t progressing as quickly as…”
And then he remembered the last time I was there, a mere 4 weeks ago. A visit during which Dan and I asked him about his thoughts on VBAC and he dodged the question and started spouting off statistics and “if this…then…” kinds of things and saying things like “it’s never happened to me, but….” and “when it goes bad, it goes bad quickly….” and “TORT reform…” and all I heard was “Look, lady, I’m going to tell you you can VBAC, but the minute I don’t like the way that labor goes, we’re slicing and dicing, mmkay?”
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Because that’s what I heard 4 weeks ago and the fact that he assumed, based on my history, that I’m a repeat c-section means that he has no intention of being supportive of me VBACing this baby.
I understand that doctors see a LOT of patients and they cannot remember everything about everyone, but for the love of Cheez-its, can someone please make a note of this? Somewhere? And perhaps refer to it before walking in the door?
Vee. Back. VBAC.
(Whew. I got a little off-topic and ranty there, didn’t I? My apologies folks. Can you tell this is a topic that gets me going?)
The result of today’s visit are that everything’s all peachy. Except my skin, nails, and eyelids, which are pale. Because I’m anemic. Or at least I was today. Or the doctor said I was today. But then I told him I was starving at that moment and he seemed to take that as an acceptable reason for why I might be so pale.
(Though, the more I read about this anemia thing, the more my ridiculous fatigue makes sense.)
Dr. NIH Fellowship just wants to keep an eye on it and instructed me to get more iron in my diet to see if that will straighten things out before we go the route of supplements.
While I was laid back on the table and he was feeling on my flab for my uterus, he reached up with one hand and, like, pinched my cheek. Like something a grandma or a Great Aunt Ethel would do. It was…bizarre? to say the least.
He listened for the heartbeat and said “Sounds like a champ!” and then I was free to go (with one more enthusiastic pat on the shoulder) and get my blood taken. Again.
I swear my OBs office is inhabited by vampires, what with the 20, 24, and 28 week glucose tests someone ordered and the fact that I have not yet had a single appointment where there has not been a blood draw. Not a single one.
And then I made an appointment for the 20 week ultrasound. Which was maybe the highlight of the entire appointment.
Place your bets, people. Pink or blue?
I’d be pissed about the VBAC thing, too! Like to the point where I would seriously consider finding another doctor.
I vote pink.
I am trying, trying, trying to find one that won’t take me an hour to get to and an hour and a half to get home from or require me to take days off from work to get there. Trying my best.
Yay for finding out if baby is a boy or a girl! I have a terrible time guessing so I shouldn’t even try! Plus I’m still a little skeeved out by the whole doctor pinching your cheek thing. I suppose it’s good he didn’t pinch your “other cheek”. 😉
I was anemic while pregnant w/ DG so I researched what I could eat that was high in iron, but I ended up taking supplements because I got really tired of the three foods I could have really fast. But it helped a ton. Except for a whole inability to go the, uh, bathroom thing.
Don’t forget to have them check baby’s heart at the Big Scan. I’m a bit obsessed with that sort of thing, but it’s important. 🙂
He totally pinched my cheek! And kept his hand on my shoulder. And patted me on the back. I was all “PERSONAL SPACE, DUDE!”
I think I’ll end up taking supplements, too, just because that seems easier. But with my, uh, history, so far this pregnancy, I’ll swallow it with a dose of Colace.
The u/s tech that does the scans is FANTASTIC and looks over every single inch of that baby that she can! She’s awesome.
I want to VBAC my next one, and I have a feeling my doctor will be the same way. We talked about it at my last annual and she was all like, “why would you want to do that??” and “if you go on your own by 39 weeks, then you can try.” So, I think I’m going to look for an alternative, like maybe a midwife? Only problem is that I’m high risk. Damn Crohn’s Disease.
This doctor favors repeat c-sections and said as much in our last visit with him. There are two other doctors in the practice and their names are on the door. I so want an alternative, but my options are so limited.
I guess I’m lucky that I live in a big city that has lots of ob/gyns… 🙂 It may not work for you, but I have heard of people finding a different person (doctor, midwife, etc) to deliver while they still receive their medical care close to home. Granted I don’t know how well that would go over with your current ob…
I do live in a (or close to) a big city. A HUGE city. With lots and lots of OB/GYN offices. And very limited choices when it comes to having a successful VBAC. Very.
I’m fine with this practice for routine gyno care, so I’d probably consider coming back to them for the yearly since they are three minutes from my job. But I’m feeling like a break-up is going to take place soon for at least the duration of this pregnancy.
Sorry, I misunderstood. But I know how hard it can be to find a doctor that will allow a natural birth, let alone a VBAC. Good luck on your search.
And also, plum juice has lots of iron in it… And helps with the, ummm, other problem commonly found during pregnancy. Plus it’s about 50 million times more palatible than prune juice.
I’ve never heard of plum juice, but it sounds tasty!
I’ve been giving it to my daughter to make her poop more regularly and it’s working moderately well. I hate that it’s $4/bottle, but still cheaper than Miralax.
I tried Miralax and I just didn’t feel like it worked. Maybe I didn’t give it enough of a chance :/
Best of luck with getting the support from your doc for the VBAC. I have a couple friends here in FL who wound up with unplanned c-sections. One of them is seriously considering not having any more kids because of the lack of VBAC support in FL. It does make me very sad for her. The other one is considering a home-birth.
I’m voting for team blue again for you.
We didn’t find out the sex of this baby. Luckily the sono-tech said she wouldn’t put it in my chart so the doctor wouldn’t barge into the room talking about future baby boy or girl. I was afraid I was going to have to ask them to write in big red marker on the chart, “don’t tell her what the baby is!” I agree that docs should definitely take 30 seconds to skim a patient’s chart before they burst in and make assumptions.
The Florida VBAC situation is deplorable. Absolutely terrible.
And I MUST know boy or girl. I have ruffles to buy if this is a girl!
I read often and rarely comment, but I’m speaking up on this one. … I vote pink!
And I also vote run fast. I think most people (here in Atlanta anyway) have a snowball’s chance in Hell unless you are with one of two offices even though we are swimming in OBs and hospitals. IT SUCKS and is unfair. I’m driving an hour to and an hour from each freakin’ appointment. It makes me bitter, but a little less bitter when I walk in the office because I love the midwives so much and feel valued and supported there. The whole “champ” language + the pinching and patting spell patriarchy to me a bit. The whole “sweetie I know what’s best for you think” irks me.
So hard to find a good provider. I feel your pain! Good luck. 🙂
This particular doctor seems quite patronizing and, yes, patriarchal. I used to love this practice before my section.
It was really interesting to hear your perspective. I feel like half the time I read or hear women talk about what their doctors are telling them and they don’t feel comfortable asking more questions. I already knew that you had your doubts about your first experience from the conversation we had at BlogHer and that you and I are on the same page with a lot of that stuff. It was just really cool to hear how informed you are and that you know what to ask and how to interpret your doctor’s responses.
Anyway, I loved this post so much I made my husband read it. He loved it, too. 🙂
He asked me if I had any questions and I was all “Nope.” Because his tone and body language pretty much says it all for me. I’m doing everything I can to inform myself every day in the event that I can’t make a provider switch work.
I’m pissed about the VBAC thing, and I don’t even have a V.
But, yeah, that sucks.
My money is on pink — I just see you as the mother of a girl.
I’m pissed about it too. A lot pissed.
And I’d love to see me as a mom to a little girl, too, but I do love the relative ease of being a boy mom.
I’m not placing my bets on the boy/girl thing yet.
But I am placing bets on whether or not I will punch this man in the face. The odds are pretty darn good.
(No worries, though. I’ll pat him on the shoulder and pinch his cheek afterwards.)
No. Just NO. Run far and fast.
I’m waiting to hear back from one of the two openly pro-VBAC practices in this ENTIRE METRO AREA. (Others “do” VBACs or are “pro”-VBAC, but things have to be perfect and fairies have to dance around your head for them to “allow” the VBAC to happen.)
It’s just going to be challenging because the closest one is in 1/2 hour away and I don’t think they take appointments late enough for me to avoid missing too much work. And if I miss too much work, that cuts into the days I’ll get paid for after this child is born.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that anything is better than a cheek pincher.
I’m sorry about the hours/pay thing. Sounds like you’re going to have some tough decisions to make :(.
Yep. We are. 🙁
good lord. i thank goodness every day for my amazing midwife (and aunt!). i need photos before i ever guess pink orblue.
I just look fat. And my child is a second child. I can find zero motivation to take weekly belly pics, but I really should start because this child deserves that kind of attention, too.
NOW I WANT TO STUFF MYSELF WITH CHOCOLATE TO SOOTHE MY SELF-LOATHING 🙁
well then it must be a girl if the fetus is driving you towards chocolate!!! i feel bad for my first child. i can never get around to taking her monthly photos. whoops. not a single thing written in a baby book. no record of first smiles or rolls. she will be in therapy for reals.
Delurking to tell you: Find a new OB even if you have to walk uphill both ways, barefoot, and in the snow to every appointment. This dude does not give two craps about your VBAC, and you will end up with a repeat c-section. He’s made his stance clear, and he isn’t going to suddenly become supportive. Been there, did that, still coping with the emotional toll almost a year later. He sounds like a creeper anyway.
I know. I KNOW. It has to be done. But there are so many factors standing in the way that it’s a hard trigger to pull, even knowing my chances with this doucher.
dude. we are living opposite OB lives. Seriously. My OB is so pro-VBAC it’s almost freaky. But we both decided with all the risks and stuff from Eddie, we were going to plan on a Csection unless charlie seems WAY different than his brother.
And your OB is creeping me out all the way in MI.
And I guess BOY!
oh yeah and? Everyone who looked at my results was SHOCKED at how stocked up on iron I am. I do not get why this is weird, but they way they reacted, I thought someone was going to give me a trophy on my way out that day.
We eat so much red meat it’s weird to me that I’m anemic.
The VBAC situation here is awful, considering where I live and how progressive so many other things are. And the fact that I just called VBAC “progressive” is laughable because pushing a baby out of your vagina should be NORMAL.
Well you know I’m guessing pink, but the most important thing to me is a healthy child, and a smooth delivery. Everyone deserves to experience the joys of a daughter. If this one is a girl OMG, she is spoiled before she gets here being the only girl grandchild on Dan’s side of the family. Now back to the game!
A smooth, vaginal delivery 🙂
And yes, spoiled. Totally.
This game? Is going to give me an aneurysm.