Working moms, if your child sleeps in until you go in to get him or her in the morning and you have to wake said child up to get dressed and loaded into the car to go to daycare?
Consider yourself blessed beyond belief. That is not what happens in my house. Ever.
This morning was not my greatest morning as a mom. Not at all. And I’m kind of ashamed of myself.
This morning I was rough-handed and harsh-worded.
Joshua woke up whining at 5:30.
His whine is a form of torture which would probably violate every rule in the Geneva Convention if we ever used it to interrogate prisoners-of-war. And? If we did use it? We would totally know where those weapons of mass destruction are by now.
o_o
Needless to say, Dan and I were less than thrilled with the fruit of our respective looms this morning. Even after we got him out of the bed, it was clear that he was still tired. I could see it in his eyes.
I got dressed while his whining turned into talking. Dan got him up and dressed and I went into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. And that’s when it all really went to Hell.
I was eating a bowl of cereal so Joshua wanted cereal. So Dan got him cereal. But then he wanted Goldfish. But only the purple Goldfish and not the blue Goldfish that are his recent favorite. But the purple Goldfish weren’t open yet. By this time, I’d finished my cereal and moved on to trying to pack a lunch, wash my coffee mugs, make my coffee, and get my bags loaded into the car.
Seriously, I had all of that going–water running so it could get hot so I could wash the mugs, a jar of peanut butter open to smear it on some bread, a bag of chips on the opposite counter so I could put them in a baggie, then I remembered that we used my school laptop last night so I needed to locate it and put it back in my bag.
And Joshua started following me whining that only I, his mother, was allowed to open the purple bag of Goldfish. Not Daddy. That just won’t do. Only Mama. So, I opened the bag of Goldfish and then he spilled some of them.
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I poured some in a bowl and practically threw it at him.
Then he found a pair of Thomas underwear. Naturally, he wanted to wear them. Only Daddy couldn’t put them on him. Only Mama.
And I kind of lost it. I was elbow deep in three separate, yet equally important tasks, and my child was crying about underwear.
I yanked his shorts down, plopped him on the kitchen floor, shoved his feet into the underwear, and tugged them up over his diaper. Then he screamed that he didn’t want his shorts to go back on and I was shaking.
Literally, my hands were shaking with rage and my mind was a fog. He was crying. I was on the verge of screaming. It felt like it was a million degrees in my kitchen.
I can’t blame him for not wanting me to put his shorts back on him. Not really. I was Mean Mommy this morning.
I hate that the stress of not being able to put my child first in all cases whatsoever got to me. Because I can’t put him first in all cases whatsoever and that’s really not fair to him. Especially when he’s tired and I know it.
I had a million things happening at once and all my child wanted was me. His mother.
And I couldn’t give him 100% of my attention because other people’s children have to come first sometimes.
After Dan finally got Joshua’s shorts and socks and shoes on, Joshua, through tears, said “I’m sorry, mama.” And my heart broke into a million pieces.
I’m sorry too, Joshua. Mama’s sorry too.
I have SO been there. Every mommy has. If they say they haven’t, they’re either lying or have live in help.
The only thing that might be more effective than whining in getting those WMD’s is Mommy Guilt.
Hugs.
If we could bottle Mommy Guilt, we could probably make something as powerful as the Atomic bomb.
Love this, went from laughter, to totally relating, to tears! WE all wish we could give 100% of ourselves to our children 100% of the time, but as I have grown to learn this is not possible. We do the very best we can and in those moments when we can’t, its best to admit we’ve been cranky and move on. Trust me your son will be better off knowing his mama is human and not superwoman!
Oh, he’ll know I’m human. He’ll totally know.
Oh man, I have been there more often than I would like to admit. It happens to all of us . . . each and every one of us . . . even the most perfectly coifed mommy looses it at times . . . buckles under the stress.
Be gentle with yourself and give your little guy the biggest hug ever when you get home. Say that you are sorry that you were cranky mommy this morning and then let it go. I know, easier said than done but give it a shot!
Joshua and I area having a great evening together, which is good since I’m about to leave him for five days. :/
We needed this.
Oh, my son wakes me up usually by standing 2 inches from my sleeping face asking VERY LOUDLY for milk and mickey mouse clubhouse. Not the greatest way to wake up in order to assure a happy mood for mama.
Daycare mornings are extremely rough in our house too. He doesn’t want to do anything I need him to do. I’m usually late to work if that tells you anything.
And after dropping them off, on the car ride to work I replay all the things I could have handled better 🙁 Not good at all.
Hugs, mama. Maybe this upcoming FANTASTIC break from reality will cheer us all up!
I still have him trapped in a crib to avoid those wake-ups!
And I think this weekend away is going to be ridiculously hard for me, but really good at the same time.
Not a mean mommy. Just human. When things are frustrating, we get frustrated.
The apology would probably have made me weep too, but really it means that he understands that being difficult was hard on you, and that he is both loving and polite enough to apologize. And when you apologize to him too, you are modeling just the right thing: that we all have bad mornings and we all forgive the people we love for being difficult sometimes.
That apology broke my heart. BROKE, I tell you. B-R-O-K-E.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. We’ve all been there. The best part of this story: he apologized. It’s hard for a little guy to recognize that he’s being difficult too. It’s not ALL your fault. He had a part in what went on this morning as well and it’s HUGE that a kid that little is learning how to function as part of a family. P.S. in our house it’s mini-muffins. Has to be the chocolate chip because if you attempt to get those “healthy” blueberry ones past a two-year-old, it’s game on!
I kind of think he doesn’t know what he was apologizing for. He’s an overly apologetic child sometimes, about things that don’t matter in the long run. I mean, I’m glad he apologized to me, but I don’t know if he understands it.
I’m glad we were able to model some good behavior and hug it out, though.
Oh my goodness, you have made me cry! I’ve been there too and then when you finally have some quiet, you realize that you could/ should/ would be more patient. Give yourself some grace. Our children are very forgiving and full of love.
I didn’t mean to make you cry! But yes, the quiet moment is when I get all shoulda-woulda-coulda and it’s not a fun place to be.
Can I just say I struggle with being there for my children on a daily basis. I run a day care! I can not count how many times my son just wants my attention but instead I have to give it to everyone elses children too. It was very comforting to wake this morning and see I am not alone in my plight. Thank you for showing we are all going thru the same sort of things.
I can’t imagine how hard it would be to have your child WITH you while you care for other children.
But we ARE all in this together.
From the looks of the flood of comments already, we’re all on board this Crazy Momma train with you. I threw my keys at the basement door on Saturday when my daughter threw her cup down the hall because it was filled with juice and not water. Eight minutes later I wanted to crawl into a hole and cry.
Follow your boy’s lead and apologize to yourself, for being so hard on yourself. A momentary lapse in calm is a sign you’re human. This too, will all come out in the wash:)
I’m glad I’m not alone on this train. That would be boring.
Believe me, this is how a lot of my mornings go. You aren’t a mean mommy, even if you feel like it. You are only human and you should try not to be too hard on yourself about it.
I have to say, with these comments, it’s making me feel better about the times I have reacted poorly in this type of situation. We are in this together. We are not alone.
And neither are you.
I’m glad to know I’m not alone. It’s heartening. Even if we’re all together in our momentary lapses into crazy.
Oh God. I know. So awful, isn’t it?
We’ve all done it and we all will again, no doubt. Hugs, mama.
It’s the worst possible way to start the day. And knowing that it will happen again? Kind of sad. But inevitable.
You’re not a Mean Mommy, just a normal mommy. All of us have rough days, some, worst than the others. I’ve had some not-shining moments too, after which I just want to curl up into a ball andnever come out. And the little boy I just lost my temper at comes up to hug me, that kills me and makes me alive at the same time, you know?
Good and bad, we gotta take it all as it comes. Stay strong.
Oh man. I’ve been there so many times. Toddlerhood is so hard. It is so hard to feel like nothing you do is right in their eyes. But then you have that moment at the end when they start to realize what’s going on and then Joshua says, “I’m sorry,” and my Abby smiles through her tears when I’m able to distract her…finally. those moments bring it all back in and realize we are all just human beings after all…even our little human beings we created.
Oh, momma – that’s a minor-league meltdown. I’m writing a post for Mommy of a Monster where I go way over all of that.
But, haven’t there been days that you were wearing really nice looking underwear and felt it’d be best if you went all day, pantsless? Is that just me? Must be :-p
This blog post literally made me uncomfortable because I know this feeling exactly. There are times I just want to SCREAM at my child. I get so frustrated and I take it right out on him. And then of course, the Mama-guilt takes over and I realize that this is just a little person who is just trying to be with their Mama who they love! Heartbreaking.
… and yet, so very normal. Don’t feel too bad. We’ve all been there.
Thank you for posting this Miranda! I, too, have had days like this and I regret them deeply. I regret when I can’t keep my sh!t together for a few seconds. I regret yelling at him because he is only wanting my attention. Being a mom is hard. Being a working mom is harder, in my opinion. And the mornings? They are the hardest, by far! There will be days like this, but when you feel like you are getting frustrated, just remember what you wrote in this post and take a deep breath. 🙂