This weekend has been a whirlwind. A completely crazy whirlwind of blogger ADD and moments of OMG both good and bad. Despite the fun, I’m ready to get home to my boys.
Helping me out today is someone I superpinkpuffyheart love.
Tiff is awesome. She’s funny, makes cute kids, and also has some serious talents.
After graduating with her MBA in December, Tiff found herself wondering what to do. So, she started blush restoration. (Check out the legs on “legs”!) If you’re in the area and you’re in need of a custom piece of furniture? Tiffany is your girl!
Tiff and I decided that, in the spirit of blush restoration and making new use of old things, we’d e-cycle. This has got to cut our carbon footprints in half or something.
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Wanted: Couple Friends
The husband and I are pretty awesome.
I’m smart, often without pants, and occasionally clean a toilet. He’s big, indifferent, and can move furniture without my help. The relationship is win-win and, bonus!, we make cute babies.
We do have one area, however, in which we are a completely incompetent—we suck at making ‘couple friends.’
It’s painful, really. It’s like sitting at the pool with Suze Ormon and Jillian Michaels and you’re not allowed to spend money on bottled water because your home will go into foreclosure and Jillian didn’t say it was time to rehydrate yet. They’ll flog you with short-sale contracts and resistance bands and you’ll search for the nearest spoon and insert it directly in your eye.
Yelling lesbians aside, the whole idea of mating interests and weekends with other couples is exhausting. I can hardly make it through the foreplay of the initial meeting, feigning interest in traffic routes to work, triple coupon day, or the stool patterns of their toddler.
Potential Couple Friend (PCF) Wife: It’s so weird. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays little Tommy makes poopies first thing in the morning. Generally between the third episode of Dora the Explorer and the second episode of Wonder Pets but only if Ming Ming’s lisp is a little less ‘speech impediment’ and a little more ‘Key West’. Tommy has the cutest poopy face ever. Wait a sec…I think I have a picture of it in my phone…’
Me: I’m going to kill myself.
The main problem is that, even after 8 years of marriage, most people who know us are still wondering what the heck we’re doing together. The husband is up at 4am to workout every day. I am up until 1am watching Bravo or keeping up with some Kardashian every night. The husband hardly speaks and I often refer to him as deaf-mute. I’m pretty sure I never stop talking.
Opposites may attract but it’s hell on the PCF hunt.
The last time we got together with another couple was awful. We had dinner at their place and could not find a single thing we were all interested in to talk about. My friend’s fiancé was creative and artsy. My husband is a walking anthology for ESPN.
Major PCF fail.
But lately we’re feeling a little J.D. Salinger (the hermit part, not the dead part) and need to get out and actually be with people.
However, that probably means I have to put my pants back on and the husband might have to engage in conversation not including the words ‘third down,’ or ‘illegal formation.’
Unless, of course, we’re talking about Key West.
Michelle
Monday 8th of August 2011
It is hard making couple friends. My fiance and I have friends who are in coupledom, but most of the time hang out on their own, without their other. hahaha The fiance also speaks ESPN. I know what you mean about the kid talk. hahaha You are too funny. :) If you ever look for some couple friends out Michigan way, we'd be glad to hear from you. :) hahah We don't have kids so no poop talk. lol
Theresa Sonoda
Monday 8th of August 2011
So funny and so true. Not sure I quite got the yelling lesbians part but that may be because of my position on the fence. My partner and I have the same problem with finding other couples to spend time with. She's the quiet one and I'm the mouthy (fun) one, and we are completely different in our interests. That, like you and your hubs, makes for difficult friend-finding. So I can relate, even if from a different perspective. Still loved how you made it funny though! Awesome!
Mrs. Tuna
Sunday 7th of August 2011
Yeah, well, it doesn't get any easier, the man becomes even less of communicator outside of the house leaving you to arrange all potential couples play dates. After 30 years of swapping wedded spit we tolerate the spouses of our besties and have reverted back to girls night out. Don't judge.
New follower.....hope you follow back.
Jennifer
Sunday 7th of August 2011
Wow! I feel like I wrote this myself.I also have a husband that speaks ESPN. We have trouble finding friends where we like both couples; nothing worse than one of the pair being a dud! We should hang out; if we lived closer and in a non-totally-desperate-for-couple-friends sort of way! Great post!
angela
Sunday 7th of August 2011
So funny! Our couple friends are people where we already knew half of the couple. We don't have a lot in common on the surface, either, so meeting people is hard. Also, I'm way more outgoing, and he gets mad, because I wander off sometimes and leave him in new social situations!