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Funny, I don’t remember packing that

August 23, 2011 by Miranda Leave a Comment

When I go anywhere, I’m a pretty meticulous packer. I make a list of what I’m taking with specific item details. The list doesn’t just say “black dress.” It says “faux wrap black dress with five buttons.” (Also? I laugh and roll my eyes when Dan does this. Because he takes my OCD packing nature to a whole ‘nother level.)

When I need to tightly pack many things to save space, I can do it easily. I’m the master of having no dead space. Just ask my roommates about my BlogHer swag and how I got that home. They can vouch for my awesome packing skills.

What I do not remember packing for BlogHer–or even remotely thinking that I needed to pack–is this:

Yeah.

Yes. Yes that is what you think it is.

Yes. Yes I am just as shocked as some of you are.

When I took the test on the Monday morning after BlogHer, I took it kind of on a whim. I was on day 52 of what I thought was an anovulatory cycle. I knew that if I planned to call the doctor around day 60, they’d ask me if I’d tested. So, I grabbed the pee stick out of the cabinet and before I even had a chance to wipe, two lines were there.

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I kind of laughed in disbelief. Shook the test. Looked again. Yep. Still two pink lines.

Dan was getting Joshua dressed for school so I went into the nursery, pee stick in hand, and when he asked why I had such a funny look on my face, I showed him the test. Shoved it at him, actually. He did the same shocked, disbelieving laugh as me and then high fived me. (What? You don’t high five your spouse over surprise pregnancies?! Oh, wait, you don’t HAVE surprise pregnancies? Yeah. Me neither.)

I wish I could say I immediately did back flips and let out a SQUEE! of joy. But I just kind of went through the morning in complete shock. And the rest of the day. And the day after that. And the day after that.

That shock has been the reason for my radio silence lately. Until we knew some dates, we didn’t want to tell our families. And until we told our families, I couldn’t really write about this. And without writing about this, I’ve been left with zero ways to process this aside from in my own head. Which is a facking awful place for anyone as it turns out.

And as it turns out, I’m pretty much terrified.

Filed Under: Life, Motherhood

Previous Post: « I’m not good at being fluffy
Next Post: Quick! Before I pass out! »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Julie S. says

    August 23, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    Congratulations! ๐Ÿ™‚ It will all be great- trust me.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:46 am

      Thanks. I know it will. I’m just in a serious adjustment phase right now.

      Reply
  2. Alena says

    August 23, 2011 at 10:38 pm

    YAY YAY YAY! I have been so excited about this!!!!!

    PS: Shaking it does no good. It’s not an etch-a-sketch.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:46 am

      It’s not? Damn. Maybe I should’ve peed on an etch-a-sketch then.

      Reply
  3. Angie K. says

    August 23, 2011 at 10:40 pm

    Blame it on Katie. She must have hugged you extra hard at Blogher…or something.

    For real, Congrats! Siblings are the greatest gift we can give our children. Another person to care for us when we are old.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:47 am

      Or another person to put us in a second-rate nursing home for all the therapy we caused?

      Not how I should look at things right now?

      Damn.

      Reply
  4. Jennifer S. says

    August 23, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    congratulations!! how are you feeling? aside from the shock!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:47 am

      Like I want to vomit. All the time.

      Reply
  5. randi says

    August 23, 2011 at 10:44 pm

    No way!!!!!!!!! You so so got this! Congrats times infinity!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:48 am

      Thanks, Randi. I’m totally freaking out!

      Reply
  6. Dan says

    August 23, 2011 at 10:46 pm

    Commence blogging about horrendous morning sickness this time around.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:48 am

      You know it! Now you don’t get to be the only one to hear about it! SCORE ONE FOR YOU.

      Reply
  7. Tracy says

    August 24, 2011 at 12:57 am

    Congratulations Momma!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:49 am

      Thanks, you.

      Reply
  8. Paulette says

    August 24, 2011 at 6:41 am

    My mommy fogged been up since 4am brain can only come up with CONGRATS! Dontcha just love surprises?! Me too x 3. =)

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:50 am

      No. No I do not love surprises. At least not right away. Because this is like surprising me with a rattle snake. Or a spider. And telling me they are pets.

      Reply
      • Paulette says

        August 24, 2011 at 9:22 am

        OK, I’m with ya on those things. Totally get it, too. <3

        Reply
  9. Mama says

    August 24, 2011 at 7:56 am

    Well, let me just tell you folks how happy this Nana is………..I know that it is a total shock to my girl, but you know what (as George Lopez says)…….I got thissssssss! She will have this. I haven’t always been able to be there much for her with Joshua but I promise to do my best to be there every time she needs me,…….might ought to move in huh?….lol. Miranda doesn’t see what everyone on the outside sees, she is strong, intelligent, gentle, and has more love than you could possibly imagine and do you know how I know these things? I raised her and most of all i know how she was raised. I had her when I was 24 yrs old, not married and making just a little over minimum wage but I was determined to take care of this wonderful gift that God had blessed me with. i was so excited to be pregnant and somehow I knew things would be fine, even though I had to stop thinking about myself and start thinking about this life growing inside of me, y’all I can’t put into words how I feel about Miranda. Has it always been a bed of roses? No. But somehow some way we have a tendancy to make it happen and that is how Miranda is she is a make it happen kind of girl. You will be fine sweetie and just know I am there for you when you need me. I love you more than words can say. I know this is rambling but I have so much to say and don’t want to take up all of your blog space….lol. Thank you (and Dan of course) for making beautiful intelligent children and just relax and know it will be OK!!!!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:51 am

      I already don’t know where I’m going to put this baby and its stuff, so moving in might be an issue. But the fixer-upper two doors down? That’s an option.

      Thanks, Mama. For everything. Except making me cry into my biscuits.

      Reply
  10. Liz (ShorelineMommy) says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:27 am

    CONGRATULATIONS! I follow your tweets and blog and was so happy to see this news! I know you and your little family will be great. Sending you big hugs!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:52 am

      Thanks for the hugs. We’ll figure this out.

      Reply
  11. Jana A says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:37 am

    YEEHAW!! SQUEEEEEEEEE!! I’m so excited for you! Also, your mama made me cry ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:52 am

      My Mama ALWAYS makes someone cry. Usually me. Always.

      And thanks.

      Reply
  12. imperfectmomma says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:46 am

    Congrats! Felt the same way when I found out about #2. You will do just fine ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 8:52 am

      At what point, exactly, should I expect to be less shocked? Because shock is just sort of plaguing me.

      Reply
      • imperfectmomma says

        August 24, 2011 at 9:00 am

        Well to be perfectly honest – I was in shock up until I gave birth. Still am kinda. Like I look at her & go: how do I have a second child? Well I know how – but you get my drift…

        Reply
        • Miranda says

          August 24, 2011 at 12:43 pm

          Yeah. This is what I’m expecting.

          Reply
  13. teresa says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:53 am

    Omg!!! Congratulations!! Take it one day aat a time. Having 2 kids was the best decision I ever made. They are 2 yrs apart and the best of friends!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 12:44 pm

      Thanks for that reassurance.

      Reply
  14. Krista says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:01 am

    Hey! I missed this yesterday. Congratulations!! So happy for you.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 12:44 pm

      Thank you

      Reply
  15. Denise says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:11 am

    Congratulations! Although a surprise, you will rock this. Because you rock. Looking forward to following along on this adventure through your words.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 12:44 pm

      Gah. I’m glad you’re confident. I’m freaking out!

      Reply
  16. Teri says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:18 am

    What a wonderful, shocking, surprise. Love it – Congrats!!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 12:45 pm

      Shocking and surprise are sticking out for me right now. Wonderful will come later. I hope.

      Reply
  17. Whitney says

    August 24, 2011 at 9:37 am

    Congrats, Miranda! I’ve been a blog stalker of yours for a while now but rarely comment (although I relate to a lot of what you blog about!). I am sure you will be a GREAT mom to two! It’s all in God’s plan :).

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 12:45 pm

      Thank you for commenting, finally! We are lurker-friendly here!

      And I know it is. I keep telling myself that.

      Reply
  18. Jami says

    August 24, 2011 at 10:15 am

    I was so happy to read this last night. I believe everything will work out for the best and you guys will be amazing parents to Joshua and LO!!! Congrats!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 12:46 pm

      Thank you. I know it will all work out eventually.

      When, exactly, is “eventually”?

      Reply
  19. Elle says

    August 24, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    Thanks to mine & my husband’s super-human reproducing powers, we have had two surprise pregnancies. One while using birth control and condoms (no, we absolutely never slipped up or skipped either one), and the other when we got pregnant the very first night that we decided to try for a second child. You’re scared of this surprise pregnancy, and I’m scared of sex altogether.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 12:47 pm

      Um, I am now scared of sex too. I don’t want to get repregnant or anything.

      Reply
  20. John says

    August 24, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    First, congratulations. Having two kids is a wonderful thing – it really is. They’ll reach a certain age & start entertaining each other. They’ll be life-long best friends.

    But, you also have my sympathies . . . because, it kind of sucks until you get to that point. It’s a wild & crazy & worthwhile trip . . . but, like the best roller coasters, the moments of pure terror are numerous.

    Mostly, though, congratulations. And I totally expect to see you rocking some pregnancy dresses.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 3:38 pm

      First–thank you. Except not for that roller-coaster imagery. Because now I want to puke double.

      And I already busted out the maternity pants because holy comfort, Batman.

      Reply
  21. Molly says

    August 24, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    Miranda, first i just want to say that I am so happy for you! Secondly, I want to tell you that I completely understand your reaction. The feelings are different than a very planned pregnancy. My husband & I walked around in shock for a good 2 months. I didn’t have any pregnancy symptoms at all so it was easier to deny it was even happening. I was terrify too. You’re not alone. I know you just need time to process it before you can celebrate this new life. I wish I could hug you again! Everything will be a-okay!!!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 3:42 pm

      Oh, the symptoms. My GOD. The symptoms. They’re WAY worse this time than they were with Joshua. And yes, time to process and then I’ll celebrate.

      Reply
    • Jami says

      August 24, 2011 at 4:53 pm

      I just wanted to pipe in and say that even with a planned pregnancy the feelings can be confusing. DH and I tried for almost three years and were on our last round of fertility treatments before giving up when we got pregnant with LO (I’m due in November) and there are still days where I’m scared shitless and wonder if I’ve made a mistake. I love this little guy more than anything but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t doubts and confusing thoughts. Sigh. It’s crazy no matter what way I suppose ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  22. Christine says

    August 24, 2011 at 2:19 pm

    Congrats and YAY! You guys make cute kiddos. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster ride in the beginning, but its also very rewarding. I’m confident you are going to be a great mom to two!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 3:43 pm

      Oy with the roller coasters! All-day sickness, people! LOL

      And I hope so.

      Reply
  23. Amy says

    August 24, 2011 at 2:32 pm

    We already talked about this on The Twitter, but I’ll say it again here. Sending many hugs, congratulations, and hope that the shock wears off and the happy replaces it! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Also, I need The Twitters to share some of the water that you guys are all drinking. I swear every female I follow is pregnant!

    (Any girl/boy feelings yet?)

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 3:44 pm

      I DID NOT INTEND TO DRINK THIS WATER. I repeat–someone drugged me.

      And no, not really, though slightly leaning girl? But that could just be wishful thinking.

      Reply
  24. Sally says

    August 24, 2011 at 3:27 pm

    Bless your heart…that is great news. Heck, I was suprised with the first one, when the labor pains started I was still trying to figure out what to do!!!!! Ha! You’ll be great, sounds like you have a great husband and son, I’m sure everything will be fine. I commented on the post where Dan gave the bread recipe, was gonna try it that weekend, but life intervened. Oh well, maybe this week.
    Be blessed,

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      August 24, 2011 at 3:48 pm

      That bread is good stuff! You should totally try it!

      As for this? I know this will work out. I’m just going to be freaking out until it does.

      Reply
  25. Hopes@Staying Afloat! says

    August 24, 2011 at 8:04 pm

    Congratulations!!!

    Believe it or not, I do know the feeling of a surprise pregnancy! My third boy was conceived through a condom. Yes, I’m sure that is more then you ever wanted to know about someone you don’t know! But I thought I would let you know that you are not alone. The surprise, and the being terrified is totally normal and understandable! It does turn into sheer joy and excitement! I promise!

    Reply
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