If you follow me on Twitter, you know my afternoon? Kind of blew. To say the least.
Joshua and I got up and showered and dressed this morning and decided to go out. Somewhere. And I ended up at Moe’s. So we ate and had a great time and then it was time to go home for a nap.
A nap that never happened.
You see, dear friends, Joshua nodded off in the car. And when I took him inside? I made the RIDICULOUSLY FACKING AWFUL decision to change his diaper before putting him in the crib. So he got all whiny on me. I snuggled him, sang a song, put him in the crib, and then left the room. Where he promptly DID NOT fall asleep.
I listened and waited and listened and then went in to snuggle him some more. And he’d pooped.
I wouldn’t want to sleep with a load like that in my pants, either, so I can’t fault him for not sleeping the first time.
The second time? KID SHOULD’VE JUST TAKEN A NAP. And he didn’t. He jumped up and down in his crib. He counted to 10 (skipping numbers 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9, I might add). He ripped the teething bumper off the rail. He threw the monkey onto the ground.
And I? Decided the nap was a wash since it was already 2:30 and it was obvious he was not going to sleep.
So we went to JoAnn to see about some fabric (which I did not find) for a project I’m brewing up in my head.
While we were there, I think it was everyone in the store’s job to GET IN MY WAY AND STAY THERE.
Joshua’s screaming to be held and I’m alternating between carrying a 35 lb toddler and forcing him to sit in the buggy. Grandma on the button aisle just stands there in the middle of the place like she owns it. Other Grandma parks herself in front of the needles. Another Grandma keeps moseying up and down the same fabric aisle as me, completely blocking my path. Joshua keeps screaming and whining and crying and people are looking and I am breaking out into a sweat.
And my thighs are chaffing because THEY ARE FAT and they rub together and I decided today was a great day for a skirt. Like a facking moron.
So what do I do?
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I take the few items I’ve managed to get into my cart, throw them into an aisle, and speed out of there like I’m in the Monaco Grand Prix. Oh yes. Yes, I did that. And the cart might’ve even been on two wheels a couple of times. And I might’ve shaken the cart and snapped “STOPWHININGJOSHUASTOPSTOPSTOP!” a few times on my way out of the store.
What happened when we got to the car, you ask?
This happened:
Oh yes. That’s my child. Sleeping. At 4:30 in the afternoon. But, as my friend Jennifer pointed out, at least my hair looks nice, right? o_o
By the time I got to the car, after dropping my keys, nearly dropping my bag, and screaming one of those primal screams that starts low and gets higher and more animalistic as it progresses, I was in such a frenzy that I really just needed to cool off and calm down.
(And yes. I totally screamed in the parking lot. Pretty sure people thought I was a nut case.)
I knew that if I threw him into the car seat in an attempt to speed home he would scream the whole way, I would probably have a panic attack, and I would likely get a ticket.
So? Front seat for a chill out it was.
At first I was just trying to get him (and myself) to calm down, but every time he tried to move to touch something or look at something in the front seat I was annoyed and I snapped at him.
“No touching. Head down. No. No. No.”
And he whined and laid his head down. Every time. Like some kind of defeated little puppy.
Eventually his breathing regulated and his eyelids were fluttering and I knew he was going to need to sleep. So I let him sleep.
I just sat there, air conditioner blowing, timing my breathing with his, feeling his little toddler heartbeat against my chest, and praying that I’ll be a calmer, cooler, more collected Mama tomorrow than I was today.
Ugh! We’ve all been there hun – which is a totally uncomforting statement, I know. I used to HATE it when Beth would fall asleep in the car on the way home for a nap!!!!! That was a sure sign, the nap wasn’t going to happen. She would think to herself, “Nap? Why nap? Didn’t I just have a nap?” And my efforts to get her down would NEVER succeed. As a result, if I ever saw her dozing in her car seat when I knew we were on our way home for that nap, I could hold her toes and tickle them all the way home just to keep her awake! LOL
This too shall pass….
(((hugz)))
I thought it would be okay because he wasn’t totally asleep in the car. He was nodding and I could see his eyelids fluttering, but he wasn’t asleep. I should’ve blared the radio, rolled down the windows, AND tickled his feet.
:/
ha my mom had the same problem with my brother. she would enlist me at about 4 years of age to take off his shoes and socks and tickle his feet and pat his hands and she’d be driving like a crazy lady to get him home so he would nap there, cuz if he napped in the car, there was no nap at home!
I’m so sorry you had such a rotten afternoon. It doesn’t help at all, but we’ve ALL been there. I hate that feeling when you snap and yell at your kid… Tomorrow is a new day – hopefully it will bring on-time naps and soothed nerves!
Here’s hoping. I could use a good day today.
Again, it doesn’t help, but we have all been there. My baby fell asleep today LITERALLY 90 seconds before I got home. With my first one, that would have been when I decided that it was a nice time to destroy the planet by driving around for the next hour, going absolutely nowhere, but absolutely not willing to stop the car and risk waking him up. First kid NEVER, EVER transferred well, so I completely stopped trying. But now that I’m on to kid number two, I can’t really keep the pre-schooler in the car for an hour-long ride to nowhere. So today when the baby fell asleep, I had to pull into the garage. Baby woke up within 2 minutes of the car stopping. *sigh* Thank, God, he took a nice 2nd nap, but we just got lucky. Oh the outings with a cranky toddler. It is so easy to forget that they are kids and how to be a “sane” parent when you feel like the entire world is looking at you and thinking, “what is wrong with that woman?” By the time my first was 3, I finally got better at ignoring all those people who really don’t matter to me at all while my kid means everything. If he needs discipline, I’m going to stop and give it to him. If he needs love and attention, he’s going to get it. If he needs me to walk out of the store because he’s not behaving and he needs to know not to act like that, that’s what I’m going to do, even if it means I’m gonna’ be in a crap mood the rest of the day because he’s making me crazy and I didn’t get anything done all day and I feel like a horrible mother.
Ugh. There will be more days like this ahead. But many more days that are much, much better.
If I hadn’t decided to change his diaper, like a moron, I think he would’ve gone to sleep. ::sigh:: Hindsight, right?
And when he was an infant and there was a random moment when he fell asleep in the car? That car did not stop until he woke up.
I know that it was a random bad day. He and I definitely have more bad than good.
Not that it helps, really, but I had a moment a little like that today, too. We went to Bed, Bath, & Beyond to buy a pizza stone, because mine cracked, and I like pizza. It was raining, which was bad. Then all of the carts were in the parking lot (wet) or all stuck together in the vestibule, so I decided Dylan was old enough to do a store visit without a cart. I needed one thing, right. Wrong! With one taste of freedom from me putting him down, he was a crazy man, cavorting through aisles and trying to tackle (other people’s) carts. And his sister? The one who has no problem tripping him or pulling him down or tackling HIM when we’re at home, just laughed and laughed when I asked her to hold his hand. Shopping Fail.
It totally helps. Solidarity helps.
Joshua’s into this thing where he says “Walk hold hands” and most of the time, he’s pretty good about walking and holding our hand. But then sometimes, he just wants to flop down on the floor like a limp noodle so I end up dragging him through part of the store. Apparently this is an awesome game to him. But not to me.
you need a baby carrier of some sort to wear him on your back to avoid all the crying and squirming it helps a ton when I’m running errands with my kids.
I have never wished so hard for my Moby in my life. I know he’s too heavy for it, technically, but I would’ve fashioned something to make it work. Something. Anything.
I was tempted to grab some knit fabric, slam it on the counter, and beg the women to cut it lengthwise for me.
I think this is why I get all nervous (as in I have to talk about it in therapy kind of nervous) about going anywhere alone with Eddie.
but I do need to say, your hair? AWESOME! I am so jealous of your cute bangs. I can’t rock bangs due to cowlicks and I am hyper-jealous about people with great bangs. like you.
I can go places with Joshua by myself because I know that if I don’t nothing will get done. I have to go. But sometimes? Sometimes I wish I was that story-book TV mom with no hair out of place and the angelic kid riding happily along. Because that’s totally realistic, you know?
I have totally screamed in the parking lot of Kroger this past winter. This was after my 10 month old son managed to wriggle out of the belt in the cart and crawl out..of the cart. Yep. While I was busy trying to remember the same freaking PIN number that I’ve have for about a hunnerd years but I can’t remember a damn thing since I had this kid, I allowed my baby to fall out of the cart. (and I was having a hot flash..who is sweaty in the dead of winter?? Me.) Oh, and did I mention this was also on a Saturday? (who goes to the grocery store on the most crowded day of the week? Me.) It’s nice to read about other’s bad momma/baby days. Not nice..but..oh whatever..you know what I mean. 😉
I was actually quite surprised I screamed. But it was either scream at The Universe or scream at Joshua. And since I blame The Universe for him not napping, The Universe gets the scream.
And Joshua totally almost crawled out of the cart at Target last night. Like, one leg over the side on his way to the ground. While I was checking out. I was mortified.
It’s all about solidarity, sister.
My 7 month old who I have always (stupidly) bragged about being able to take anywhere has recently discovered that it’s fun to yell really loud. Discovered it in the middle of a restaurant where we were having dinner with out of town friends. The first 7 times it was cute. . . the next 70 not so much. I gave her toys; she dropped them on the ground. I picked her up from her seat; she tried to squirm out of my arms. I said “no” (as if she could understand), and she grinned at me and yelled again. All the while just yelling away.
I scooped her up (quite abruptly and with no explanation to the people I was sitting with) and stormed out to the parking lot, where she just looked up at me innocently and quietly and patted me on the face as if to say “it’s okay mommy!” I felt like a total tool.
I’m the same as Katie – I get so anxious taking C places by myself. And I have so had those days where all I wanted to do was scream. Next time I’m going to try it.
PS You look hot 🙂
Sorry it was a crazy day but yep, you’re hair does look good!
Why do people have to be such a pain in the ass? It’s like they have radar when they know that you’re on edge or having a bad day and seek you out.
Anyway, your hair does look damn good. And I blame you for me now having bangs. But thanks, because I needed them.