Meeting new-ish people scares me.
Tomorrow (or perhaps, by the time you read this, today) I am headed downtown to meet up with some local bloggers and Twitter peeps. Because I was invited and because it is my birthday weekend and I feel less guilty about doing things for me when it is my birthday.
This freaks me out and makes me all nervous. Like, take-a-Gaviscon-it’s-a-first-date nervous.
It’s weird, too, because I read the blogs of many of these people. They read mine. We have conversations on Twitter. We share advice and stories. I feel like I know many of them and like they know me.
And yet, what if they don’t like me? What if I have some weird twitch I don’t know about? What if I have the annoying laugh? What if I laugh at the joke that isn’t funny? Or don’t laugh at the one that is? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I fall flat on my face walking into the restaurant and I just cannot recover from the embarrassment!!?!? What if I burp and it smells?
It used to be easier to make new friends when I didn’t worry so much about making new friends.
When I was younger, my mom always said I “never met a stranger.” I’d talk to anyone. Didn’t matter who or where. And even now I’m way comfortable cold-calling people.
Parents? Not a problem.
Business contacts for fundraising? Not a problem.
People I sort-of-know-but-not-really? YIKES!
(And yet I Skyped Katie with a pore-clarifying mask on my face and my hair in a bun. WTF?!)
I’ve often said that as I’ve gotten older, the ability to make connections with new people grows smaller and smaller. It’s harder and harder to mix into existing social circles. It’s just hard to make new friends.
And yet? I want to make new friends. I thrive on being social. On meeting people. On making connections.
I think it’s why I love Twitter so much.
So, y’all think kindly of me tomorrow (or perhaps, by the time you read this, today) and pray that I don’t embarrass myself and that these people like me and don’t think I’m crazy.
Thanks. A million.