Top Ten Tuesday-Things I Could Do Without

People, this week? Is Top Ten Things I Could Do Without.

Do you know how easy this is? There are lots of things in this life I could do without. Lots.

10. Justin Bieber. This is a WHITE KID from Canada. What does he know about “shawtys”? (And truly, every time he says that word, I think God cries a little.)

9. Caillou. Yes, another white kid from Canada**.Yes, he is the whiniest child on television. Yes, he is also bald. At four years old. And I cannot for the life of me figure out why when it does not seem that his mother, father, or sister are suffering from any sort of follicular deficiencies.

8. Jersey Shore.

I mean, let’s talk about some white people from NEAR Canada I could live without.

Do I really have to explain this one to anybody? Do I have to explain that Snooki gets paid $20,000 to dress like a hoochie and walk a red carpet and I know teachers with MULTIPLE DEGREES who are making barely more than that?? Gah. I feel my blood pressure rising just thinking about this.

7. Drama. And I’m not talking theater. I’m talking D-R-A-M-A. I could do with a little less (or none) of this in my life.

6. Ugly little boy shoes. Seriously? I do not get why it is so hard to make decent looking shoes for little boys. Girls get THREE AISLES of shoes at Target. Boys? Half of an aisle. Ladies, until this moment, I never realized how lucky we have it. Boys shoes? Ugh. I do not want things with lights. Or characters. Or lights AND CHARACTERS. Or Crocs of any sort. Or these horrid-zomg-run-away-screaming Dinosaur shoes.

5. Bodily functions. Pretty much any and all of them. Please know that my tongue is firmly planted in my cheek here. I get that bodily functions are part of motherhood, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that one of the perks of daycare is that they get the majority of Joshua’s poop diapers. SCORE.

4. Snot is not cool, while we’re on the subject of bodily functions. This not only affects Joshua but also me. I hatehatehate having a stuffy and/or runny nose. And did you know it’s possible to have both AT THE SAME TIME? ZOMG. Awful.

3. Laundry. This is the impossible task. It is like that myth person who had to roll a boulder up a hill and just as soon as he got to the top of the hill, his strength gave out and he and the boulder went rolling back down to the bottom. It seems that no matter how hard I try or what system I implement, I cannot stay on top Laundry Mountain. Also? This picture makes me chuckle. It shouldn’t. But it does. LOLZ.

2. Traffic. On any given morning, I am more likely to be stopped by an errant deer or a cow who has broken out of the pasture. My school was built on land bought from a family of dairy farmers. I pass through several cow pastures on my morning “commute” and only a handful of cars. But on the few mornings when I have to sit, I dunno, 15 cars deep? waiting to turn into the school parking lot? My head almost explodes off my shoulders. I do not do traffic.

1. PMADs. What post about things I can live without would be complete without a discussion of PMADs? Postpartum mood and anxiety disorders are sucking the lives out of me and my friends right now. I would like to live a life without them in it. (The PMADs, not my friends.)

What are 10 things you could live without?

(I swear I love me some Canadians–Kim, Devan, Robin, Stacey, et al–Love.)