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Three Packet Pot Roast. So good you’ll wanna slap your mama

I’m totally a red meat kind of girl.  Beef is God’s gift to meat-eaters everywhere.  So, when good beef goes on sale at my local Publix, I buy it. And we eat it.  And it is good.

I was happy to see that Chuck Roast was on sale this week, which meant Three-Packet Pot Roast.  And I tweeted about it and someone asked for the recipe. So, since I’m generous, I’m sharing with y’all. (And if you like this sort of crock pot sharing, wait until you see what Sluiter Nation, Middle of Mommyhood and I are cooking up for next week!)

***sidenote:  I can’t take credit for inventing this recipe.  I’m pretty sure Dan Googled and came across it and said “Hey, let’s try this” and I probably crinkled up my nose because it was different and indulged him anyway and fell in love with the recipe (and the man, all over again).

As I’ve said before, what makes a meal one that feeds the soul is that it is made with love and feeling–like that cheesy Sarah Michelle Gellar movie.

No. I’m not insane kidding.  Love your food, people.  Love your food.***

Anyway, Three Packet Pot Roast is easy and delicious and warm and perfect for the cold weather we’re having everywhere.

Trust me. I know food.

What you’ll need:

1 Chuck Roast, frozen or thawed (4-5 lbs)
1 packet brown gravy OR au jus mix
1 packet ranch dressing mix (not the dip packet, the dressing mix)
1 packet Italian dressing mix
2 cups water

Before we begin, a note about cooking meat in a crock pot–it will shrink.  So 4-5 lbs of meat feeds two adults (who are eating more than the recommended portion size) for 1.5 meals. A 4 lb roast cooks down to about 2 lbs of meat, if I’m estimating correctly.  Just know that and adjust the size of your roast for the size of your family and the number of nights you plan to eat this meal. (Though I don’t recommend cooking a cow-sized roast in the crock pot to feed your Duggar clan for multiple nights. And I don’t recommend having that many kids, either. For vagina and stretch mark reasons, mostly.)

I’m going to give you the Working Mama version of this and the SAHM version, because sometimes there are breaks in my school calendar and I get to pretend to be a SAHM.

On the morning that you want to eat the roast, get up and put it in the crock pot.  (Duh.) If it’s frozen, that’s okay. It won’t be frozen by the time you eat it.

And all those people who say “OMG! DEATH! NEVER PUT FROZEN MEAT IN A CROCK POT” can kiss my toe. It’s fine. Everything is heated to temp for a substantial enough amount of time to kill off whatever it is those people are scared of.

Dump the packets (all three of them) into 1 cup of water and stir. They won’t totally dissolve and that’s okay. You’re just mixing them to make your meat sauce. Pour them over the meat.  Then add an additional cup of water to the measuring cup and swoosh it around to get the bits off the sides. Pour the water over the meat and close the lid.

That’s the easy part.

The hard part is SMELLING THIS THING ALL DAY LONG if you’re home with it.

(Which is why I love making this and going to work so I can dream about it all day long and then walk into my house and be body-slammed by the smells of awesome wafting from my kitchen.)

If you’re going to be gone all day, cook it on low for 10 to 12 hours.  We put this on around 6:30 in the morning and we’re ready to eat by 6:30 in the evening.  If you’ll be home (torturing yourself) you’ll want to cook it on high for about 8 hours and just flip the crock pot over to warm around the 8 hour mark.

The water, plus the juices from the meat as they render out, will make a gravy. It will be a delicious gravy.  Some people think it’s too salty.  If you taste it and think it’s too salty, add a little warm water to cut the saltiness of it.  I happen to think it’s fine, but I like flavor.

We serve this over white rice and use the gravy in the crock pot as a sauce for the rice.

(If you don’t have a rice steamer, you should really get one. They make perfect rice and are so simple to use a caveman can do it.)

It usually works like this:

I get home and I’m slapped in the face with the awesome and I go into the kitchen and peer at the deliciousness through the lid of the crock pot. Sometimes, I taste the beef.  Occasionally, I practice restraint.  Then I put the rice in the steamer and set it to cook and go watch Gabba with Joshua.  When Dan gets home, we eat.  Then we try not to go back for seconds, remembering that the leftovers are either our dinner the next night or someone’s lunch.


You could also serve this over some homestyle mashed potatoes if you are a meat-and-potatoes kind of person, or if you’re just convinced that pot roast MUST be served with potatoes.  It’s okay. I understand. I’m that way with my Red Wine Pot Roast (which is also done in the crock pot).  There must be potatoes with that one.

You could also add a side of steamed broccoli or green beans or a salad to give yourself a little ruffage.  Sometimes we have salad with this and sometimes we don’t.  It just depends on what kind of mood we’re in.

Eat and enjoy, people. Three Packet Pot Roast is a winner.

I just died and went to pot roast Heaven.

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