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If you shake it more than twice…

My child has discovered his penis.

It is his new best friend.  They are inseparable (obviously…) and if there is an opportunity, his hand is on it.

“TEE TEE,” every time his diaper comes off!

“TEE TEE,” as we brush his teeth at night.

“TEE TEE,” as I’m trying to wipe the poop off his bootycakes before there’s a mess all over the nursery wall.

“TEE TEE,” as Ms. C changes his diaper at daycare.

“TEE TEE, TEE TEE, TEE TEE.”

o_o

Last night was freaking awful.  We’re pretty sure he kept reaching his hands down his diaper in the middle of the night to check and make sure he hadn’t lost his best friend.  Which lead to the repositioning of the boy parts so that his pee went everywhere.

Everywhere. 

He woke up soaked from neck to ankles at 2 a.m. which required a full change of everything.

Did I mention it was 2 a.m. and he hadn’t been asleep for more than two hours at a clip all since we’d put him down at 8:00?

TWO O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING, PEOPLE.

I’m exhausted. And tonight we put him in a onesie and pants set to keep his hands off his baby junk.

We’ll see.

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