Dear Me in Elementary School,
I know that hearing these words will do very little to ease your fourth grade pain when the boy you think is cute rips up your Valentine’s Day card, but boys won’t always be so stupid. (Well, he will…but boys in general won’t.) And you WILL make friends. Lots of them. And they will be wonderful friends. You won’t always be a lonely, awkward, loud, bossy, bookworm forever. (Okay, so you will…but you’ll eventually learn to own it.)
Love,
Older, Wiser Me
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Dear Me in Middle School,
Kids are mean. Plain and simple. There are so many things going on in those middle-school bodies and minds and none of you have any idea what you are doing. But that isn’t an excuse. I’m so, so sorry that you experienced the pain of bullying. I’m so, so sorry you cried so much because kids were so mean. I’m so sorry they tore apart your self-esteem when it was most important to build it up. If there was ONE thing that I could change about your experience, it would be that. I’d make it so that people ignored you instead of bullied you, because the pain would be the same, and the pain isn’t necessarily bad. The pain and hurt will make you stronger and more compassionate toward others. It will also leave you a little broken. I’m sorry.
Love,
Older, Wiser Me
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Dear Me in High School,
You were a good kid. You were also a smart-ass. If there’s one thing I’d tell you about high school it’s DON’T CHANGE A THING. Do it all again, exactly the way you did it the first time. (Okay, bust your ass and get a B in Algebra II and give the best. damn. speech. EVER at graduation.) But in general, don’t change a thing. Get your heart broken. Fight with your friends. Make up with your friends. Get your heart broken again. Meet that guy you thought you’d marry.
I know that you’d probably expect me to tell you not to get engaged right after high school. To go off to college like a real freshman and live on campus and experience dorm life. But I can’t tell you that. Because if you do that, your life as you will come to know it may not exist. And you will have a great life.
So get engaged. Get your heart broken. Be bitter about it. Move away from home as a way to escape the memories and the pain. This is how it is supposed to be.
Love,
Older, Wiser Me
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Dear Me in College,
Find ways to get involved. Meet more people. Enjoy yourself and your freedom more. But not so much as to be reckless or irresponsible. Don’t spend so much time being miserable when you are the stumbling block to your own happiness. Enjoy the awesome city you are living in. Eat at restaurants that are “locals only.” Go to concerts. Learn to be okay with doing things alone. If you do that, a world of opportunity will open up for you.
Study more. Yes, your GPA will be pretty awesome when you graduate, but if you’d just study some, it could be even more awesome. No, no one except you will care about that after you graduate. But you will care. So study, okay?
College is the time when you will hit rock bottom. Getting help will be the best thing you’ll ever do for yourself. Don’t be ashamed of it.
You will meet a wonderful guy when you least expect to. He will send you pink roses at work and pay for your cat’s treatment for a broken leg even though he doesn’t really like the cat because that’s how big his heart is. And that is when you’ll know he’s The One. He will be the secret to digging you out of your depression. Love him. Always.
Love,
Older, Wiser Me
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Dear Me in My Mid-20s,
Even when it’s hard, know that you made the right decision regarding your career. You are there because you are meant to be there. Know that. Hold on to that. That will be what keeps you going when you feel like giving up. You WILL have students you just don’t like. It’s okay. Teach them anyway. Love them anyway.
When you begin your journey to become a mom, lean on your husband more for support. Be more open with him about what you’re experiencing. Be patient with him when he doesn’t understand. Even though it is the single most horrid piece of advice one can give a woman trying to conceive, “relax.” Try to enjoy the last few months before you become a mom. Because you WILL become a mom.
When your son gets here, let your husband help you. Let go of the control. Everything will be okay. Enjoy your son. Don’t stress about holding him too much. Just hold him. Breathe him in. Love him.
Love,
Older, Wiser Me
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Let me just say that writing letters to myself was not nearly as easy as it seemed. This was hard. It was just complicated and painful to think about. It seems like I’d say “do this differently” or “try this instead” but really, I can’t. I wouldn’t. If I changed anything, I’d change me. And I love me. Even when I don’t really like me.
So, if you want to participate, link up!