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Allow me to wax philosophic for a moment, mmkay?

About non-Joshua related stuff.  Well, sort of non-Joshua related stuff.  I mean…okay.  Whatever.  I’m just going to run with it.

I hope to leave a legacy behind one day.  Does that sound like I have a huge ego?  Because that’s not how I mean it.

I went to the retirement reception for my coworker/friend and while I was there and looking around at the students and parents and friends who had come to say their farewells, I thought “Man…is this what I’ll have after 30 years of teaching?”  And I realized that I WANT that.  I remembered why I got into teaching in the first place. 

To make a difference, as cliche’ as that sounds. 

I don’t want to just teach students about symbolism and metaphors and onomatopoeia, even though those things are all fine and dandy.  I want to teach them about life.  About living and being someone that others can say they are proud to know.  That’s my goal.  To teach them life. 

And I guess this relates back to Joshua because I want to teach him those things, too.  But more importantly than that, today and tonight I’ve been reminded that I really do love what I do.  I know that I’m in the right place.  I’m where God wants me to be.

I also know, however, that my heart is with Joshua. 

But that’s where the conflict comes from. 

I love my job.  So could I ever see myself leaving it to stay at home?  I don’t know.  If I do leave it to stay at home, do I give up the legacy?  The life lessons?  Do they just take on a different form?

I guess the answer is that I don’t know, and only time will tell, and what will be will be.  And so, in the spirit of embracing the imperfect (and not having the answers isn’t the perfect situation) I’m shelving all of the questions.  The What-Ifs. 

For the next 20 days (20 days until summer.  WOOT!), I’m building my legacy while there’s a legacy to be built. 

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Katie's Dailies

Saturday 1st of May 2010

Gotta agree with Alabaster Cow above. I think that whatever is we choose to do, whether it be join the working force or stay home and take of the kids, it's how we choose to do those tasks that make the legacy, the lasting impression.

Found you from Theta Mom... now following.

alabaster cow

Saturday 1st of May 2010

thanks for following alabaster cow! :) i have most certainly returned the favor.

and i tell myself i'm leaving a legacy even though i stay at home and probably didn't even need to go to college. :p but seriously, i think you make an imprint on people's lives no matter what you do. in fact, some of the most influential people in my life haven't been people who are big wigs in the working world or have given all their things to charity to help out the poor (although people like that are certainly awesome). the people i look up to the most and who have made me who i am are the people who have loved me with no hidden agenda. that's meant the most to me.

Ginny Marie

Saturday 1st of May 2010

I taught for 13 years, and then when I became pregnant I became a stay-at-home mom. I left a wonderful school, and there may not be an opening for me when I go back to teaching. It was a very hard decision to make! I love staying home with my daughters, and raising them is building a legacy too!

Good luck with your decision...there's no easy answer!

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

Sweet August

Saturday 1st of May 2010

I really enjoyed reading this. I understand your struggle and I honestly believe each path will be hard - whichever you choose - but both will be worth it, in their own ways.

Mighty M

Friday 30th of April 2010

I think you will have that opportunity whether you continue in your current profession or not.... But I understand the conflict.

And I love that you used "onomatopoeia" in this post! :)

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