About non-Joshua related stuff. Well, sort of non-Joshua related stuff. I mean…okay. Whatever. I’m just going to run with it.
I hope to leave a legacy behind one day. Does that sound like I have a huge ego? Because that’s not how I mean it.
I went to the retirement reception for my coworker/friend and while I was there and looking around at the students and parents and friends who had come to say their farewells, I thought “Man…is this what I’ll have after 30 years of teaching?” And I realized that I WANT that. I remembered why I got into teaching in the first place.
To make a difference, as cliche’ as that sounds.
I don’t want to just teach students about symbolism and metaphors and onomatopoeia, even though those things are all fine and dandy. I want to teach them about life. About living and being someone that others can say they are proud to know. That’s my goal. To teach them life.
And I guess this relates back to Joshua because I want to teach him those things, too. But more importantly than that, today and tonight I’ve been reminded that I really do love what I do. I know that I’m in the right place. I’m where God wants me to be.
I also know, however, that my heart is with Joshua.
But that’s where the conflict comes from.
I love my job. So could I ever see myself leaving it to stay at home? I don’t know. If I do leave it to stay at home, do I give up the legacy? The life lessons? Do they just take on a different form?
I guess the answer is that I don’t know, and only time will tell, and what will be will be. And so, in the spirit of embracing the imperfect (and not having the answers isn’t the perfect situation) I’m shelving all of the questions. The What-Ifs.
For the next 20 days (20 days until summer. WOOT!), I’m building my legacy while there’s a legacy to be built.