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McFatty Monday–Week 3

I’ll begin this weeks’ McFatty Monday with telling you about the dream I had last night.  Seriously.  It’s a good one.

~~~cues sleepy-time dreamy music and weird screen shadowing~~~

Last night I dreamed that I, along with several other people (some of whom were students, most of whom I did not know) found ourselves in another “realm.”  In this realm, there was no food.  It LOOKED like our world, but we seemed to be the only people alive.

We began a trek to find the rest of civilization, should any civilization exist.  Along the way, we found trees FULL of bananas.  I mean FULL of them.  And then we encountered some tigers who informed us that we could ONLY eat the bananas from the trees that didn’t have yellow leaves.  (WEIRD!)  So, we continued our trek surviving on bananas.  Eventually, we found water, and we performed a ritual and called up the water to wash away the tigers so we could eat the rest of the bananas.  And it WORKED!  Then we had MORE bananas and plenty of water.

And we continued our trek.

Eventually we found ourselves inside this convention hall.  It was, of course, abandoned.  But we explored to see what we could find that might be of some use.  We found some sort of schematic and believed it would be beneficial in the future.  And it was.

These people showed up from the REAL “realm” and we bargained with them.  Our safe passage back into the real realm for the schematic.  And they said okay.

—Here’s where the dream gets to the point.  I promise, there’s a point.—


For real.

And my “Hell” was a department store full of beautiful, wonderful, expensive, designer clothes that DID NOT FIT and an endless buffet of decadent sweets.


The clothes were BEAUTIFUL.  And they almost fit but not quite.  There was a little something about each piece that made it just uncomfortable enough that I wouldn’t want to wear it all day long.  And I was miserable.  Miserably uncomfortable in those beautiful clothes and knowing that I’d spend eternity NOT fitting in them.

And then there was the temptation of the dessert buffet.  There were pastries and brownies and cookies and tarts and creme brulees and just all sorts of wonderfully tempting things.  And because I wanted to fit in the beautiful, expensive, wonderful clothes, I did not eat the delicious smelling (Yes, I could SMELL the chocolate in my dream.  And I dream in color, too.) and amazingly delectable treats. 

And I STILL couldn’t fit in the clothes. 

My own personal Hell is apparently a never-ending fat day.


~~~cues sleepy-time dreamy music and weird screen shadowing~~~

This morning I woke up determined to find something comfortable and fashionable to wear, and I mostly succeeded.  But still.  Y’all.  I have visions of amazing clothes dancing in my head this morning and the defeated feeling that they will never fit.  In my dream last night I had on this really cute black skirt that sat up just a little too high on my waist and a button up shirt that pulled just a little too much across my boobs.  This is basically the story of my life.  The clothes “fit” but they don’t really fit. 

So I stepped on the scale, totally naked save the glasses on my face (I even took off my star necklace, lest it add an ounce to my weight) and discovered that I have not lost any more weight beyond the five pounds from last week. 

That’s not TOO bad considering I had four Dove chocolates and two glasses of Sauvignon Blanc on Saturday night (and I’m sure the extra parmesan noodles with dinner didn’t help either).  AND I didn’t use the Wii Fit A SINGLE TIME last week 🙁  and I didn’t drink any extra water either.


This week.  Oh, this week.

I have a vision in my head of a super cute black skirt and button up top into which I MUST fit (and do I own either of the items from my dream?  No.  Which means I’m on a mission to find these items for CHEAP so I can fit into them!)

I WILL drink more water this week.  I will.  A million trips to the faculty bathroom be damned.  I will drink more water.  And I WILL count my points as I’m supposed to instead of just guessing/rounding like I did last week.

I must fit into that skirt once I find it!  MUST. 

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Tuesday 26th of January 2010

I swear, I am the luckiest guy in the world. When I am absolutely HOWLING at work and my co-workers think I've gone insane, I'm reminded that your sense of humor is only one of the reasons I married you. The other reason is that little monster that likes to bite your arm, spit out his broccoli, and poop in his pants.

True To Life

Monday 25th of January 2010

0 lbs lost is NOT A GAIN!! which is good enough sometimes!! And seriously, that is my life every day, and I'm sick of it!! I don't quite fit in anything, and I picture myself in these amazing outfits that I WANT to wear, but just can't get there... But WE WILL!!!


Monday 25th of January 2010

Someone needs to lay off the crack pipe before bed! Mmmkay? ;)

Monday 25th of January 2010

That is a NIGHTMARE, not a dream!

But you didn't gain, so that is awesome!

Amber Page Writes

Monday 25th of January 2010

That would definitely be a fitting hell for me, too. Oh how I hate the dressing room fails!

And hey, you didn't gain anything, so that rocks - especially when you consider you lost five freaking pounds last week!

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