Jill at Baby Rabies (seriously one of the best baby blogs on the internet) posted “So You’re Going to be a Boy Mom” the other day and I’ve had a hard time not thinking about what this means to me since I read that post.
When we found out Joshua was a boy, I won’t lie. Part of me was disappointed. Not because I wanted a girl. But because I had NO IDEA what to do with a boy! I don’t have boy parts! I know NOTHING about slime and bugs unless that knowledge includes a particularly hairy incident in my first apartment when I killed a roach the size of my FACE with AIR FRESHENER.
So yeah, the prospect of becoming a boy mom was daunting.
As it turns out, I love being a boy mom! I’ll never have to explain tampons to him in detail! Or listen to endless “Mooommmm, do these jeans make my butt look big???” whines from the dressing room at whatever clothing store happens to be hip at the time. Or get into a fight with him because the swimsuit he wants is too revealing. I’ll never have to worry about buying ridiculously expensive prom dresses that will only be worn once. And I have completely and totally avoided the money-suck that is American Girl dolls.
(I have, however, purchased every single item of clothing I’ve found since his birth that has a car, truck, or motorcycle on it. And no, I don’t think I’m kidding.)
One of the things that sticks out to me about the time in the hospital right before I was wheeled into the OR is looking at Dan in his scrubs and thinking about Joshua and wondering how I’d ever be able to turn a baby into a man. That still kind of baffles me in an “I’m not worthy” sort of way.
But, I love knowing that I’m trying my best to raise a man every bit as respectful and good-hearted as Dan is, or at least, that’s my goal. I love being a boy mom because I know that I can raise a guy who will make some girl really happy some day (far, far away from now…a long, long time in the future). I hope I am raising a man who respects women and loves animals and has a desire to help others but who is also strong and who stands up for himself.
I love being a boy mom because my boy LOVES his mom. Joshua has been asleep for several hours now and while writing this entry, he started crying. All he wanted, all he NEEDED, was a few minutes of cuddle time with me, his Mama. While he loves his Daddy, there’s something about ME, his mother, that is incredibly soothing to him when he bumps his head, is tired, or is sick.
I am his MOTHER. How amazing is that??
There was a comment on Jill’s original post that really struck a nerve with me. The mother** seemed incredibly disappointed that she’d never had a girl after trying multiple times for one. Aside from the “be happy you were able to have a baby at all” argument (which is a completely relevant and valid argument to have, coming from someone who faced a potentially harrowing experience trying to conceive and got lucky), I’d like for this mom to just be happy her sons are healthy. And she’ll never have to pay for a wedding!! SCORE!
Does all of this mean that I don’t want to one day be a “girl mom”? No, not at all. I do very much want to have a little girl someday. Will I be disappointed if I only ever get sons? Not a chance in hell! But for now, I’m loving my little man and I couldn’t be happier to be his mom.
**(I can only hope that the commenter meant some of her words in jest. As I do not know her, I cannot, in good conscience cut and paste her response here. Nor would I want to start a frenzy on Jill’s blog of people replying to that commenter for her feelings.)