I counted up my freezer stash last night and I have 96 oz. of usable milk. There’s close to 30 oz of milk in the freezer that is infected with dairy-goodness from a slip-up I had back in May. So I can’t give that to Joshua. So I have to dump it. That really, seriously hurts.
I feel like I’m nearing the end of my willingness to pump three or four times a day and it’s all because of that stupid, fatty cake. And Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.
And I’m exhausted. There are times when I just want to go to sleep but I can’t because I’ve still got another pumping session to do before bed. Which means I have to be up for at least a half an hour past the time I want to go to sleep. Now, of course the solution to this is simple. If I know I want to be in bed by 10 I should just pump at 9:30, right? Right. But sometimes, I get caught up in doing other things and then I realize “Man…I’m exhausted…I should go to bed” but I can’t.
I still don’t know what I’m going to do, but this is weighing quite heavily on my mind lately.
Jayme
Wednesday 21st of October 2009
Pumping sucks! Literally... you should be so so proud to have done it for this long...
Good luck with your decision- it's so hard!
Eclipsed
Tuesday 20th of October 2009
Pumping is so hard and I commend you for doing it for so long. I stopped as soon as I went back to work because my supply tanked so badly it wasn't even worth it. Whatever you decide know that you did the best thing you could for your son for as long as you could.
aggieonboard
Tuesday 20th of October 2009
I know exactly what you mean about that last session. I always forget it until I'm ready for bed and that thirty minutes makes a huge difference.
Don't pour out those 30 oz--donate them!
Also, you are amazing. I don't know how you've made it so long dairy free. (I know that goes more with the earlier entry, but I'm lazy.) You are working harder than most of us but I don't see you bragging about it. I wouldn't be as charitable, I assure you.
Have you considered reintroducing dairy slowly? I'm sure you have a timeline in mind.
Cynthia at A Shimmy In My Spirit
Tuesday 20th of October 2009
No wonder you are tired! What a sweet little guy you have there. That picture is beyond adorable.
Eva Gallant
Tuesday 20th of October 2009
I commend you on your commitment to nursing. I was a nursing mom,too, 35-plus years ago, but I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home, so I didn't go through all the pumping! I don't know how you do it.
Just dropping by from SITS; hope you'll drop by my blog and read about my purloined panties!