I counted up my freezer stash last night and I have 96 oz. of usable milk. There’s close to 30 oz of milk in the freezer that is infected with dairy-goodness from a slip-up I had back in May. So I can’t give that to Joshua. So I have to dump it. That really, seriously hurts.
I feel like I’m nearing the end of my willingness to pump three or four times a day and it’s all because of that stupid, fatty cake. And Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.
And I’m exhausted. There are times when I just want to go to sleep but I can’t because I’ve still got another pumping session to do before bed. Which means I have to be up for at least a half an hour past the time I want to go to sleep. Now, of course the solution to this is simple. If I know I want to be in bed by 10 I should just pump at 9:30, right? Right. But sometimes, I get caught up in doing other things and then I realize “Man…I’m exhausted…I should go to bed” but I can’t.
I still don’t know what I’m going to do, but this is weighing quite heavily on my mind lately.