I feel like a cervical underachiever

***Internal exams are discussed here. If you don’t want to read, skip the post. Otherwise, happy reading.***

I had my 38 week appointment today. I was DYING when I got there because I had to pee so bad. They were running about ten minutes behind. I was in AGONY.

Finally, they called my name and I made a beeline for the bathroom. Peeing in a cup is a skill I find I’m quite good at. If it were an Olympic sport, I could be a contender.

Then the nurse made me get on the scale. Only up two pounds over last week. Woohoo!!

Then the nurse took my blood pressure. It’s back down to my normal 118/62 from 130/80-something, so I feel great about that.

Then the nurse says “Would you like for Dr. H to check your cervix today?” And I waffled about my answer for a second. On the one hand, I’m curious. On the other hand, I’m basically asking for an internal exam. So, I decided to have him check my progress. It can’t hurt to know, right??

I get back to the exam room and the nurse gives me another one of those tiny little paper sheets. I promptly asked her for another one and she was like “Oh, honey, I don’t know why they don’t have these in OB sizes for pregnant ladies! It doesn’t make sense to me!” and I wanted to say “Then why don’t you automatically give us two??” but I didn’t because she’s a really nice nurse and she chatted with me about big-headed babies and giving birth to them.

Dr. H came in and he searched around for Baby’s heartbeat. He had to push my stomach around a little bit and he goes “He’s a stubborn little guy, isn’t he?” to which I replied “He gets that from his Daddy.” (Honestly, he’s probably going to be the most stubborn child on the planet because Dan and I are both pretty stubborn when we want to be.)

Then, Dr. H checked my cervix. The exam was not that bad, but I know that everyone is different. Some people want to climb the walls. Others of us, well, I don’t know what makes others of us able to deal with it. Anyway…

He says “You’re a fingertip dilated and your cervix is still high and pretty firm.”

Awesome.

A fingertip and a high, firm cervix.

What am I, an elephant?? I mean, I know I’m huge and all, but I think I might be pregnant forever.

I feel like the intermittent pains I’ve suffered and peeing all the time and waking up forty times a night and not being able to sleep or stay comfortable and the swollen feet and the forcing myself to waddle all over creation have all been for naught.

I know things can change at a moment’s notice and that making progress now doesn’t necessarily mean that labor is imminent, but I was hoping for something. I’m 38 weeks for crying out loud!!

Grrrr….the second two-week-wait begins again.