Here’s a LOVELY exchange that took place in the QT yesterday between yours truly and some old hag who stopped for, well, I don’t know what she stopped for. I needed a drink and a snack and a pee break on our 15 minute trip to take the Christmas tree for recycling.
Me: ::getting a HOT DOG (yes, a hot dog) from the rolly-cooker thing at QT::
Old Hag: “Oh, when are you due?” ::smile, smile, bat eyelashes::
Old Hag: “March? Really, that far?”
Me: “Yep” ::slathering mustard::
Old Hag: ::she moves around me to get a look at my belly from the other side:: “Sure it’s not twins??”
Me: “No, but thank you” (that’s what I actually said…what I implied with my tone and the crooked smile on my face was “No, but thank you for calling me fat as I EAT A HOT DOG MAYBE I SHOULD GET ANOTHER ONE AND SOME CHIPS AND A CANDY BAR TOO!”)
Old Hag: “My daughter is due in two weeks and your as big as she is”
Me: ::blank stare with a smile still on my face::
Old Hag: “Well, you look wonderful”
Me: “Thank you”
Really, I was only upset for a split second. Then I saw the look on DH’s face. He was not happy! I walked over to where he had been standing to listen to this whole exchange and he goes, not exactly under his breath either
“Oh my god. What a rude *bleep*. I’m *bleeping* *bleeped*. I cannot believe someone would be so *bleeping* rude to you. I want to go *bleeping* say something to her.”
Ahh, my usually mild-mannered knight in shining armor! (Those who know him know that it’s not like him to spew profanities like this, especially not in public where he might be thought of as “causing a scene.” I am much more the sailor in our relationship.)
I started giggling almost uncontrollably at how upset he was over the whole thing and then assured him that most people on this planet don’t have a filter that keeps them from saying things they shouldn’t say to hormonal pregnant women. He was still saying “Geez, I’m glad you can laugh about this! I’m still mad!” five minutes later.
So, there you have it. My first “first” for 2009. Someone asked me for the first time if I’m having twins.