Enter the Walrus

Seems like a fitting title since it seems my child is turning into one of those burly, ornery, oyster-eating creatures.  Well, okay, let me rephrase.  We’ve had a lot of snot this weekend.  OMG a lot.  And when he sneezes his snot looks like walrus tusks.  And he HATES tissues with the fiery passion of a thousand Devils. (And no, his hatred for the tissues does not stop me from wiping the snot from his face.  I’m not raising a ragamuffin!)

Capt. Crankypants made an appearance this weekend.  The boy took a TWO HOUR LONG afternoon nap yesterday.  He has never, in his entire life, taken a two hour nap in the afternoon unless I was holding him.  Ever.  So I knew he didn’t feel well and called to get a substitute for today.  And I was told that there were no subs for today.  Awesome.

Then the skies opened up and the angels began to sing. Hallelujah!

School was cancelled.  Again.  Really, not-sarcastic awesome.

There is nothing I enjoy more than a good ol’ fashioned snow day.  Except I didn’t get to sleep in this morning because, well, I had to weigh myself for McFatty Monday (see the post immediately preceding this one!) and I had to take Joshua to the pediatrician.

I was CERTAIN that his ear infection was back.  CERTAIN.  Apparently, my mom-tuition is broken.  It’s “just a cold.”  It’s JUST A COLD. 

Do you know how frustrating it is to hear “just a cold” when you take your snotty, whiny mess of a child who will not let you put him down nowaynohownonononono to the doctor and hear those words? 

Well, it’s really freaking frustrating.

And then the doctor proceeds to tell me that on average, children get 4 to 6 colds a year. 

Okay, so, that’s not too bad. 

Then she tells me that children in daycare get THREE TIMES as many colds as children who aren’t in daycare and those colds typically occur between October and March and that he should be better by then but if he’s running a fever in a week then come back in and see her and did I have any questions and no his Monster hat won’t keep him from getting an ear infection because ear infections aren’t caused by wind in the ears.  (Which was NOT a question I asked, by the way, because I already knew that.) 

But O Holy Night, people!  Up to 18 colds between October and March?  Way to make a girl feel okay for NOT being a stay-at-home-mom there, Doc.

So, we’re here, nursing another cold with saline rinse and snuggles.  And I’m hoping for another two hour afternoon nap so I can take one, too.