A video went viral this weekend wherein a “comedian” mocked fat people, called them to the carpet, and said she was doing so because she cares.
She wasn’t funny. She doesn’t care. And neither does that meathead who comments on every post about body acceptance saying we can’t “glorify obesity.” (Don’t be that dude.)
Here’s the thing–and I say all of this as someone who is currently at her heaviest non-pregnant weight ever, marginally upset by it because of the clothes which do not fit but also sort of done stressing about the size on the tag because OMG I JUST CANNOT–
Fat people don’t need your faux concern. Or your outrage shared from inside the comfort of your computer. Overweight people know they’re overweight. Your concern trolling isn’t helpful. At all. No fat person has ever read a stranger’s comment on the internet and said “OH MY GOD! THAT’S IT! I’M FAT! HALLELUJAH NOW I KNOW!” That has (probably) never happened.
What has happened, however, is that overweight people have read those comments and then felt like steaming piles of garbage because the “fit” of the world deem themselves gods while the rest of us who don’t meet their standard of whatever are relegated to the station of the lowly peons not fit to grace the halls of the “healthy.” We’re all judged by the size of our pants instead of the content of our character.
It’s all bullshit. All of it.
Fat people KNOW they are fat. Trust me. We know. We don’t have a magic mirror which makes us appear to ourselves as super svelte while the rest of the world snickers at our jiggly backsides as we walk the aisles of Target or the grocery store or the playground or wherever. WE KNOW. We know and we don’t need you to tell us.
What those who fat-shame seem NOT to know, or to know and disregard completely, is that obesity, being overweight, being “not thin enough,” is way more complicated than just “those fatties are lazy.” I mean, sure, some people are lazy. I definitely spent most of Sunday binge-watching Reign Season 2 and gladly would’ve done the same thing yesterday because Prince Conde! Mary! Francis! BASH! (I’m on S2E16. NO SPOILERS!)
But in general, being fat is way more complicated than laziness and has a load to do with education and economics and sometimes general health. And when you do not know a person’s history–and trust me, you probably do not know a person’s history–it’s best to restrict your comments to the weather or sports or anything other than the size of a person’s stomach. Especially when that someone is a stranger.
We know that the secret to losing weight is to eat less and move more. The hard fact for the fat shamers among us to grasp is that some of us LOVE OURSELVES and DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK.
OMG! GASP! SHOCK! HORROR! A FAT PERSON CAN LOVE HIM OR HERSELF! So my biggest question to the fat shamers of the world is why do you care? Especially about the size of a stranger. And especially when size is just a number and actually says nothing about a person’s overall health, as evidenced by the fact that “plus size” apparel begins at a SIZE 8.
And the truth is that you don’t care. Not really. You just don’t like to see fat people because you find them gross or something. Well, I find your attitude gross so evens?
If someone in YOUR life, your real, day-to-day, you-spend-actual-time-with-this-person is overweight, sure, maybe you can broach the topic in a non-judgmental way which actually comes from a place of concern, and maybe you will effect real change in their lives. But chances are if you’re the kind of person who spouts fat-hate on the internet, you won’t even be able to muster real concern for people you actually know.
So maybe just worry about yourself.