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Dear Fat Shamers…

A video went viral this weekend wherein a “comedian” mocked fat people, called them to the carpet, and said she was doing so because she cares.

She wasn’t funny. She doesn’t care. And neither does that meathead who comments on every post about body acceptance saying we can’t “glorify obesity.” (Don’t be that dude.)

Here’s the thing–and I say all of this as someone who is currently at her heaviest non-pregnant weight ever, marginally upset by it because of the clothes which do not fit but also sort of done stressing about the size on the tag because OMG I JUST CANNOT–

Fat people don’t need your faux concern. Or your outrage shared from inside the comfort of your computer. Overweight people know they’re overweight. Your concern trolling isn’t helpful. At all. No fat person has ever read a stranger’s comment on the internet and said “OH MY GOD! THAT’S IT! I’M FAT! HALLELUJAH NOW I KNOW!” That has (probably) never happened.

What has happened, however, is that overweight people have read those comments and then felt like steaming piles of garbage because the “fit” of the world deem themselves gods while the rest of us who don’t meet their standard of whatever are relegated to the station of the lowly peons not fit to grace the halls of the “healthy.” We’re all judged by the size of our pants instead of the content of our character.

It’s all bullshit. All of it.

Fat people KNOW they are fat. Trust me. We know. We don’t have a magic mirror which makes us appear to ourselves as super svelte while the rest of the world snickers at our jiggly backsides as we walk the aisles of Target or the grocery store or the playground or wherever. WE KNOW. We know and we don’t need you to tell us.

What those who fat-shame seem NOT to know, or to know and disregard completely, is that obesity, being overweight, being “not thin enough,” is way more complicated than just “those fatties are lazy.” I mean, sure, some people are lazy. I definitely spent most of Sunday binge-watching Reign Season 2 and gladly would’ve done the same thing yesterday because Prince Conde! Mary! Francis! BASH! (I’m on S2E16. NO SPOILERS!)

But in general, being fat is way more complicated than laziness and has a load to do with education and economics and sometimes general health. And when you do not know a person’s history–and trust me, you probably do not know a person’s history–it’s best to restrict your comments to the weather or sports or anything other than the size of a person’s stomach. Especially when that someone is a stranger.

We know that the secret to losing weight is to eat less and move more. The hard fact for the fat shamers among us to grasp is that some of us LOVE OURSELVES and DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU THINK.

OMG! GASP! SHOCK! HORROR! A FAT PERSON CAN LOVE HIM OR HERSELF! So my biggest question to the fat shamers of the world is why do you care? Especially about the size of a stranger. And especially when size is just a number and actually says nothing about a person’s overall health, as evidenced by the fact that “plus size” apparel begins at a SIZE 8.

And the truth is that you don’t care. Not really. You just don’t like to see fat people because you find them gross or something. Well, I find your attitude gross so evens?

If someone in YOUR life, your real, day-to-day, you-spend-actual-time-with-this-person is overweight, sure, maybe you can broach the topic in a non-judgmental way which actually comes from a place of concern, and maybe you will effect real change in their lives. But chances are if you’re the kind of person who spouts fat-hate on the internet, you won’t even be able to muster real concern for people you actually know.

So maybe just worry about yourself.




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John (Daddy Runs a Lot)

Friday 18th of September 2015

Simply, well-said. I think fat-shaming is around because it's one of the only forms of bullying that isn't truly vilified by the masses - and those who might not be fat . . . well, they're the ones who, more-likely, were the schoolyard bullies from yore. Everybody, and I mean, everybody is a work in progress. I happen to have my body, somewhat, where I think it should be . . . . but I goof off too much at work, I drink too much, I'm too shitty of a father/husband/son/brother/friend, my personal/family finances are an abysmal mess.

And while I can say "my body is where I think it should be," the image of myself in the mirror is that of a fat person.

As soon as we all start realizing that we need to focus on bettering ourselves & ignore others, the better.


Wednesday 9th of September 2015

Yes, yes, and a whole load of more YES!


Tuesday 8th of September 2015

There are so many things to worry about, why are some people focused on fat strangers? Some of the best people I've ever known were terribly fat. The first one who comes to mind was my Latin teacher. He was brilliant and his huge build was a part of his character. It made him who he was and many generations of kids feared and adored him. He lived to be very old, 90s, I think. Poirot and Rumpole also come to mind when I think of all the fatties I love. Some people are just fat. So what?


Tuesday 8th of September 2015

LOVE this. Thank you for writing about this. Even before that video, something had to be said.


Tuesday 8th of September 2015

Amen and Amen......well written and oh how true!

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