What Did I Miss?

Hello, people! I’m BAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAACK!

I typed that intro and this face was the first that popped into my mind so it’s really, truly only fitting that you guys also relive with me one of the best alien invasion movies ever: Independence Day.

(Will Smith punching an alien in the face in the middle of the desert and basically telling it today is just NOT the day? Yeah, been there.)

Anyway.

I realized that being away from the Internet, or on limited Internet usage this summer means I’ve missed a lot. (And by missed I mean the news passed me by, not that I felt any sort of sadness. I just read through this to proofread and thought, “Wow, that sounds like I’m really sad about a Kardashian…” which, no.)

For example:

I didn’t know Kim Kardashian was pregnant until two weeks after the news dropped. GASP! The second coming of KimYe could’ve passed me by entirely. I wouldn’t have had the chance to feel really, really terrible for poor Kim’s swollen cankles shoved into strappy shoes. (Dear Kim, Pregnancy means it is TOTALLY OKAY to wear flats. Just don’t pull a Brit-Brit and run into a gas station barefoot and you’re solid.)

I nearly missed the BenJen split. And now, allegedly, BenJen are reconciling maybe? Jennifer seems above the publicity fray, but are they trying to drum up support for Ben as the latest Batman? Trying to prove his virility and ability to be a hot guy in a suit where the muscles are literally not even real by spinning rumors that he boffed the nanny?

Actually, there were quite a few celeb splits this summer. I caught some of the headlines but not the details.

I missed the Real Housewives of Orange County. The entire season. Since I wasn’t writing about it, I didn’t watch. Meh. Come to think of it, I don’t really hate the fact that I missed a season. I read a lot of books and did intelligent things that didn’t involve watching grown women act like toddlers.

Thing I absolutely did not miss this summer:

Lenny Kravitz’ Little Lenny. Pretty sure nobody missed that one. (How could you miss that? Google is your friend, my friend.)

This summer’s forced hiatus gave me a lot of room and time to think about this space and what I’m doing here, ways to diversify the content while still being able to use my voice, and in that regard, I’m really excited. But it’s scary in some ways because new stuff means taking risks and sharing myself in different ways.

Anyway. I’m back.

Now tell me what else I missed.