I don’t have a catchy title for this. I can’t give a shit about SEO. I just have a metric ton of Mom Guilt sitting on my chest and I desperately need to get it off because I can’t breathe with it there weighing me down.
We’re moving. In 12 days.
Yes, that’s right. We sold our house. This summer’s hard work and my home staging skills paid off and after being on the market for 6 weeks, it will no longer be ours.
That’s the amazing part, really. We’ve dreamed of the day we could sell our house for quite a while, never expecting the housing market to rebound here so that it would be possible. And now the market has rebounded and the house is sold and we’re moving. Officially.
But the Mom Guilt is eating me alive.
Moving now means switching schools. And then switching again. I knew this would be a possibility, but I didn’t expect it to be this hard.
“He’ll only be a month into school! No big deal! He’s adaptable!”
He is adaptable. I, as it turns out, am not.
See, we’re not going from here to our forever home. We’re going from here to living with family to our forever home. Because that’s what happens when you want to build a home of your dreams and you have people who graciously open their doors to you and the timing for everything is all weird like this.
I cried this afternoon when I realized that my son probably might not exist in a yearbook.
I know this is more for me than it is for him right now, but one day, it’ll be for him. School pictures at his current school were today. They’re probably taking place soon at his new school if they haven’t already. There’s a good chance I’ve missed the boat and the only record that he attended in either place will be in whatever I can cobble together.
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(It's like a bookmark, but...not.)
I cried at Joshua’s curriculum night on Monday when I told his teacher that he only had 8 more days with her. I wiped my eyes as she talked about the times she needed classroom volunteers when I realized the available times are perfect for me to have been there, helping with the art center, or working on reading, or doing whatever she needs done.
I know there’s a chance I’ll have this same opportunity at his new school, but I also know there’s a chance I won’t.
I cried when she talked about the ways she engages the kids in activity to help them work off excess energy throughout the day and when she relayed some funny stories about their interactions with one another and the ways she sees the class coming together.
I know there’s a chance he’ll have that elsewhere, but I also know there’s a chance he won’t.
I cried when I listened to the PTA president talk about the school and community they have there and how they help one another and are able to do the things they’re able to do not because they’re the fanciest school but because they’re a family.
I know we’ll have many, many years to become part of a school community when he gets to his final destination, but it seems like so far away before we get there.
I feel stuck.
We’re stuck. Moving, but stuck.
I’m worried and I’m sad and all these little things are piling up and I feel like the entire first year of school is a wash with all the moving. We can’t put down roots and get comfortable. He’s going to be spending the next however long adjusting while the rest of his classmates are established.
All of this just means a lot of change. And a lot of feeling like I’m not doing the right thing right now while simultaneously doing the best thing for the future.
I just don’t want to screw up.
Big hugs, Miranda. We’re currently contemplating putting our house on the market and are having the same issues with our kindergartner. If the house sells, do we try to find a new one in the same school district? Or look for a home in the school district we’d like to ultimately end up in? And oh goodness, what happens if there is an in between. Congrats on the house selling though. One day at a time. And breathe 🙂 You won’t screw it up.
Look at the blessing that your house sold. Ours has been on the market for a year and as of next week we’re a two-mortgage, one-income family. Yea!
I despised moving as a DINK . . . I truly cannot fathom what you’re going through . . . but, know that your son will do just fine. Those kids these days, they’re resilient.
Big hugs momma. That is all hard stuff on you. I totally get it but can’t wait to see your new life in your new home.
Joshua is his mamas son! He will do just fine! Make sure when you build the house there’s a place for mama to visit….yay! I might have a bed. Your couch and love seat are very comfy! I am so proud of you guys and what y’all have done. Makes a mama proud!
Have you thought about doing the online school K-12 for his first year so he doesn’t have to switch so much? It has it’s own guilt associated with it I’m sure but it may be an option for you. Then start all over with the first school year next year. Whatever happens, he will be fine and it will all be okay. Hugs.
((()))