I have a personal rule against watching the news.
It fuels my anxiety and since I don’t actually like feeling anxious I avoid all things which cause me anxiety whenever I reasonably can. So the news is on my Do Not Watch list. It’s one of the only things on that list, because hey, watching TV is kind of my job.
After tweets about Miriam Carey, the mother in D.C. who was shot by police yesterday after engaging in a high speed chase, and her alleged history of mental illness and postpartum depression flooded my timeline, I got upset. And then I got pissed off.
I broke my cardinal Don’t Watch The News rule and sniffed out the Today show segment where a psychologist–one who specializes in treating high-risk children and adolescents and NOT mothers–said that sometimes women who have postpartum depression kill their children.
Screeching halt, right there.
Was the psychologist careful not to lay the blame for Carey’s actions on PPD? Yeah. I guess so. She used the word “speculate” a couple of times and qualified her statements with “some mothers.”
Doesn’t matter. The damage is done because they went there.
Did this mother have postpartum depression? Her mother said she did. Maybe she did. I’m not her doctor or her.
Did postpartum depression make her drive her car through the streets of D.C. at 80 miles per hour? We cannot ever know the answer to that question because Miriam Carey is dead.
First of all, let’s be clear that without talking to her it didn’t seem like Miriam Carey was attempting to kill her child. Yes, her child was in the car, which was dangerous, but reports also indicate that Carey’s purpose was politically and not maternally motivated.
That’s important information because, quite simply, mothers suffering from postpartum depression don’t kill their children. In the small percentage of mothers who’ve harmed themselves or their children, postpartum psychosis is the culprit.
But the news doesn’t want to talk about the many perinatal mood and anxiety disorders on the list. Saying “postpartum depression” is just easier. There’s no need to educate people there.
I mean, why spread legitimately helpful information when you could just aim for the 8:00 a.m. soundbite? When you could just get your name out there and add another consulting gig to your resume’?
Speculating on that aspect of her medical history, throwing out a “well, she might’ve have PPD…” increases the stigma which mothers who suffer from postpartum depression face every day.
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It makes them monsters instead of vulnerable, suffering human beings who love their children immensely and need help. It scares them away from reaching out for help for fear of judgment and condemnation.
It does those mothers a disservice so vast the effects are immeasurable.
It hurts mothers like me.
I’m not just a mother with postpartum depression. I’m a mother with a history of mental illness.
Depression. Anxiety. A history. Like some reports about Miriam Carey state.
I’ve felt the effects of depression and anxiety off and on and battled those demons since I was a teenager. There’s a great chance that at some point in my life, I’ll once again be medicated and/or in therapy for them because mental illness doesn’t just go away.
Hell, after Daddy’s death, I called my doctor and begged for a prescription for Celexa to help me cope because after the shitshow of a summer, his death was the icing on one lopsided and disgustingly ugly cake. (I haven’t gotten that scrip yet, which is a story for another day, I suppose, since the cat’s out of the bag now.)
When irresponsible journalists go after a quick story, when they seek to place the blame for a person’s actions on blanket terms like mental illness and postpartum depression, they do injustices to everyone who has ever suffered from any mental illness.
They hurt mothers and children.
They hurt those who need help.
They hurt me.
I am a face of mental illness.
Thank you for posting this. It’s such an important topic and is so relevant and has been forever. People need to stop and think about mental illness. Just because you can’t see an illness doesn’t mean it isn’t there and it isn’t real.
You’re welcome. It’s also important for people to know and understand that mental illness isn’t one size fits all.
I am upset and appalled by what the Today Show reported. I also believe that it is likely that Miriam did not want to harm her child. And lastly, I think they have it wrong – I think she suffered from Postpartum Psychosis and not PPD. If I am correct, and she did have postpartum psychosis, it is still a very wrong statement to say that women with postpartum psychosis kill their children. I survived both postpartum psychosis and severe postpartum depression. I never wanted to harm my child. My son is perfectly happy, healthy, and well balanced. I did hear voices. I was totally out of touch with reality. It was an incredibly scary time. Even the small percentage of women with postpartum psychosis who do harm their children – it truly isn’t their fault. Those mothers are just incredibly sick. To present the illness in a way that states that those very ill mothers kill their children without giving the true facts is misleading and hurtful. Especially to those of us who have made it to the other side of the illness – with our children. It is just really difficult if not impossible to try to explain the illness to people who have not experienced it. I just hope that people are led to the right information and that warrior moms are supported. That they are not ashamed and that they do receive the help they so desperately need. Ignorance can be so hurtful.
First, I’m so sorry you experienced postpartum psychosis. I’m glad you made it through.
Second, I think they present everything as PPD because, you’re right, people who haven’t been there can’t explain it. It’s easier to just throw out a single term for everything instead of caring about getting it right and educating people.
I suffered from PPP, too, Tina. And I completely agree with you – it’s NOT their fault.
Loved this, Miranda. We need to speak out and educate – the media especially.
Thank you for writing this. I’m working on a response too. The more of us who speak out, the better chance of being heard.
Hugs – xoxo
There’s definitely strength in numbers.
Absolutely. We all need to speak up. Did you all see the Facebook page for Miriam? Did you see Lauren’s post about blogging for Miriam on October 10th?
I think I saw it on my phone when I was scrolling through earlier. I’m going to check it out now.
Thank you for writing this. I 100% agree. I am also a face of mental illness and I too am pissed that irresponsible people are making the stigma worse instead of being informative.
I’m not sure there’s anything that makes me more angry than when mental illness is misrepresented in the media.
YES. YES. YES. SO much yes. I too, am a face of mental illness. A history.
I love-hate that you know what I’m talking about. Thanks for reading, Morgan.
Miranda,
Thank you for this post. Your contribution to the fabric of truth regarding the realities of mental health, both wellness and the struggles, are immensely valuable. Please do not stop being a voice out here in the empty silence of cyberspace, albeit amidst the cacophony of voices in blogger land. You are valuable!
Melody~
Thank you for reading it. ALL of our contributions are valuable.
A very articulate response to a very irresponsible piece of reporting, Miranda. Bravo.
Thank you, Robin.
Miranda, this is a brave and beautiful post. Your voice matters; I’m so glad you share it.
Thank you for your kind words and for reading.
Thank you so much for your courage and honesty in writing this. I had PPD after having each of my children, though the first time went undiagnosed because I was too afraid to speak up and ask for help, for fear of what others would think. Even after I was diagnosed, it was hard to share with others, because there is so much misunderstanding about PPD. We definitely need more education and more compassion. Thank you for speaking out and standing up for all of us who have been through, or are going through, the pain and struggles of mental illness.
There IS so much misunderstanding and that’s why it makes me cranky when even more misinformation is thrown into the conversation. I’m sorry you battled alone, but I’m glad you found the courage to seek help.
I stay off the Internet (almost totally) for a day and apparently I’ve missed a lot! Thank you for writing this post, Miranda. Every time I read a post like yours, written by one of us Warrior Moms, I feel stigma taking a beating. Thank you!!!
The fact that there are mothers out there whose resolve to get help takes a hit every time information like this is run in such a cavalier and irresponsible manner makes me angry. So, so very angry. And hurt.
You rock. Thank you for your bravery and honesty.
Thank you.
I have intentionally been avoiding any and all reports about this. I am beyond frustrated that so many simply can’t or won’t make an effort to 1. learn more about PPMD and 2. take caution to not throw all vulnerable mothers under the postpartum depression bus.
Thank you so much for you honesty and passion – mental illness is the new scapegoat for everything. I too struggle with chronic depression, it began after the birth of my youngest (I didn’t realize at the time), but went into overdrive when 18 mos later my husband left me. I’ve struggled for the past 15 years and I get pissed when people on the news use “depressed”, “mentally ill” for everything- like we choose to have it- like someone would choose diabetes, heart disease or cancer. Until people recognize mental illness for what it is – a disease (illness) of the mind, just like heart disease is a disease of the heart we will struggle with this stigma.
Thank you!
You are the face of an incredible woman and mother.
Thank you for this. For sharing. For being you. It’s critical we don’t fall prey to the mass hysteria of the news. Seriously.
xo Sending you hugs and love.
((()))
Thank you for being a voice – together we can dispel the myth of what PPD looks like.
Thank you for showing your beautiful face and having the boldness to show what mental illness looks like. We are you mothers, your friends, your co-workers, your bloggers…
I am hoping that one day soon I will have the courage that you display and be able to attach my face to my struggles, no longer fearing rejection and judgment!