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State of the Weight Wednesday: Dear Diary

May 15, 2013 by Miranda 18 Comments

Welcome back to State of the Weight Wednesday! This week we’re adding a link-up to the bottom so if you’re following along on your own and want to add a link to your post, please do so that we can all offer support. We’re all in this together. Whatever this is for you.

State of the Weight Wednesday, Not Super Just Mom

This week I’m…whatever…to report absolutely no changes at all. Not in the number on the scale and not in measurements that I took last week and this week to compare.

To be honest, it’s kind of discouraging. And this has been the hardest week so far so I’m kind of struggling mentally with where I am and how the week went and seeing no change.

I started tracking my food, water, and exercise on the MyPlate app last Wednesday. I actually didn’t find that to be the hard part at all. Tracking, that is. It was pretty easy to just go in at each meal and find out how much I was putting into my body in order to know where I was for the day. It was also revealing.

I’ve got to do something about my coffee but I’m not ready to switch to drinking it black nor am I a fan of artificial sweeteners. Agave has more calories than sugar and I’m not sure about the flavor of honey in coffee. I don’t know what the answer is.

I didn’t stick to the daily recommended intake allowance on Saturday and Sunday since it was Mother’s Day, but I didn’t blow everything out of the water either. And if you subscribe to the notion that the entire week’s intake is more important than a single day, which I do, I really did a great job for my first week of tracking and being responsible about what I ate and I’m proud of that.

I measured portions with a scale or scoop when I was unsure instead of just eyeballing. I planned healthy meals with lean meats and lots of veggies. I ate more fruits instead of crackers or pretzels. Small changes that make differences.

Through the Livestrong community, I also discovered that I might be overestimating my activity level, so I changed that in my profile yesterday morning and lost some daily calories. That made me grumpy.

Dieting is making me grumpy. Sluggish. Short-fused. I don’t like it. I know that part of this is the adjustment process. That my body has to find its new “normal.” But guys, this? This is hard.

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I’m not giving up even though I really want to drown my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream with a side of Pinot right now, but this is hard.

Exercise continues to plague me because I can’t be as consistent as I’d like to be. Inevitably, one of the kids has an issue and I’m called away. Last Wednesday Joshua got physical with another kid and I had to “escort him out” after only 12 minutes. Saturday was short because I didn’t know what time childcare closed and we walked in at 5:15 when they close at 6:00. Monday Emma pooped after 30 minutes. It’s always something.

The number of calories I’m burning each time I exercise is all over the place depending on what I consult. The machine says one thing and the app says another. The truth is probably somewhere in the middle, but I have no idea how to actually measure that and don’t know if I should even worry about it. I mean, is it important that I know how “productive” my workouts are?

I know I have to add weights into my routine. It’s just daunting to think about. Probably as daunting as anything I’ve done so far. Cardio on the elliptical is safe. I can zone out while watching Claire have a baby and Boone die after Jack gives him a blood transfusion with a sea urchin (RIP, BOONE!) and before I know it, 45 minutes is gone.

I can’t do that with the weights. I have to pay attention to what I’m doing but what it feels like is that everyone else is paying attention to me. I know that’s irrational and that no one is likely to even notice the fact that I’m there, but there’s something about that side of the gym that feels like a spotlight is shining on me going “LOOK! LOOK AT THIS GIRL WHO HAS NO IDEA WHAT SHE’S DOING! LOOK AT HER MUFFIN TOP AND FLABBY ARMS!”

Gah. Sorry to sound so discouraging right now. I know that I’m doing something good for us so that keeps me going but there are just some weeks on this journey that are going to be harder than others. And since this is about being real, I guess I’m okay with that. I hope you are too.

Weekly Goal: Continue to track food and plan healthy, filling meals and snacks so I’m not so freaking grumpy
Weight Goal: 10 pounds total. A pesky .5 pound to go.

Remember we’ve got a link-up now, so, uh, link up. (Share the badge if you want! It’s okay. I don’t mind!) 🙂

State of the Weight Wednesday, Not Super Just Mom

Filed Under: Life

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Joanna says

    May 15, 2013 at 10:55 am

    Aww Miranda. The weights in the gym are scary and I totally get that fear. I think it’s money well spent to get a few personal training sessions in. They will show you a good circuit workout and what machines to use. It will give you the confidence to go in there and do it yourself!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      May 15, 2013 at 11:03 am

      It’s definitely money well spent. You just have to have the money first? So that’s what’s holding me back right now.

      Reply
      • Joanna says

        May 15, 2013 at 11:11 am

        I totally know that its expensive. They’ll try to make you feel bad about not getting more but you can usually get enough info in 2 sessions to be able to do a circuit on your own. Or do you have a friend that goes to the gym and is comfortable helping you for a few visits to learn the weights and machines?

        Reply
        • Miranda says

          May 15, 2013 at 9:59 pm

          I don’t have a friend who goes, but someone else reminded me that they do offer a free, introductory session. So I’m going to schedule that for a time when Dan is home with the kids (as opposed to leaving them in childcare) so I know I can get the entire hour to ask questions and pay attention.

          Reply
  2. Wanda Mae says

    May 15, 2013 at 10:58 am

    Can you pop the kids in a stroller and go for a power walk? Or can you leave the kids at home with dad/neighbor/sitter (don’t you still have the nanny time?) so you can have uninterrupted gym time?
    Sorry this is frustrating. I’m right there with ya.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      May 15, 2013 at 11:04 am

      I only have a single stroller, so I’d have to wear Emma, and our neighborhood isn’t terribly good for walking since there are no sidewalks. We have to walk in the road and people speed. I just don’t feel safe. I do go to the gym on Thursdays when the nanny comes. My self-care has shifted from sitting at Starbucks to doing whatever it’s called when you’re on an elliptical.

      Reply
      • Wanda Mae says

        May 16, 2013 at 11:10 am

        proof you DEFINITELY need to be my neighbor. We’ve got lots of safe walking/running space/paths. And I have an extra stroller gathering dust in the closet.

        Reply
  3. Isha says

    May 15, 2013 at 11:51 am

    Remember that this a journey–a quest, and rarely does that amount to perfection at the onset. You have to accept your struggles and difficulties and even celebrate them. They wouldn’t be happening if you weren’t TRYING! Right? So all you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and trudge onward.

    I hesitate to tell anyone to use agave. It’s actually quite processed and not fabulous for you. Have you TRIED the honey? I was hesitant too but it tastes fine. I know you are not so on the coconut, but the full fat coconut milk doesn’t taste like coconut at ALL to me–it just makes my coffee creamy!

    If you really want an accurate calorie count, a heart rate monitor is the way to go, but they are about $100.

    My best advice is to find yourself an at-home option, too. The 30 Day Shred by Jillian Michaels is a fabulous one, and it’s on youtube. Look for a cheap set of hand weights at yardsales/stores (we got ours for Christmas for $19.99. They are only up to 15 lbs but that’s more than enough for me). the Nike Training Club app in the Apple store is FULL of amazing workouts that are range from 15-45 minutes. And they will make you sweat something fierce! The gym is absolutely option #1, but if things happen, this way, you still have something to do! 🙂

    You are doing great. Be PROUD! Your journey continues on!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      May 15, 2013 at 9:55 pm

      Oh, I’m trudging. Forward or bust.

      Like I said in the post (I think) heavily processed or not, if the point is to get fewer calories into my coffee, then agave isn’t the way to go for that reason alone. I will likely try honey at some point, but I almost think that it’s the same as sugar. What I need to do is just buy a flavored coffee and wean myself off the sugar and the creamer and just drink it black. I hate drinking my calories.

      I think a heart rate monitor is a thing I will have to purchase at some point and I’ve started some research on them already.

      Once TV is over for the summer, I have a little bit more flexibility in when I can go, so if a workout gets interrupted and I need to go back, I can do that after Emma’s in bed and then Dan can go when I get home. Now, to be that motivated :/

      Reply
  4. becca @ sewLOVED says

    May 15, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    Dude, when it comes to weights, I AM clueless. I’m thankful my husband goes to the gym at the same time so that he can help me figure some of those machines out. But, BUT, neither of us had a clue what to do until a friend suggested a website to us. They have tons of free plans; there’s a beginner workout for women even! They also show detailed instructions on what you’re doing which I find completely helpful. And if you have your phone on you at the gym, just step aside and look to see what you’re doing next. Hope that helps!

    http://www.weighttraining.com/workout-plans

    P.S. Why can’t the daycare at the gym change Emma? That’s so bizarre and I hate that it interrupts your workout!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      May 15, 2013 at 9:52 pm

      I will definitely be checking out that link and those plans. I can’t afford regular sessions with a trainer right now so I will have to create them for myself.

      I’m not sure why their policy is that they won’t change diapers, but they won’t. They page you and lots of parents just come down, change the diaper, and go back. One day I will probably be able to do that, but that day is not right now. If I go in to change her diaper, I better be prepared to take her home because there’s not really any leaving and coming back and then leaving again.

      Reply
  5. John (Daddy Runs a Lot) says

    May 15, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    Speaking as someone who has “been there,” you’re at a crucial stage. You’re right on the cusp of turning your new habits into a routine . . . with any luck, if you just stick through logging what you’re doing and working out when you can, it will become second nature for you. Even if you gain next week, as long as you’re honest about intake and activity level, you’re golden. I promise. It gets easier.

    For the weights – yeah, you need to. If I saw you at the gym (other than thinking “holy shit, it’s Miranda! Hi Miranda” and then talking your ear off . . . I’m speaking as some random guy who either does or doesn’t know what he’s doing in the weight room — and there are more of us who are just winging it than you could possibly know), if I did actually notice you, it would be “cool, there need to be more women who don’t only focus on cardio.” I’d think that, twice, if you pulled up and started doing barbell squats and bench presses. But I know that getting those voices out of your head is next to impossible.

    Have you given thought to the 7 minute workout (http://lifehacker.com/these-12-videos-show-the-proper-form-for-a-7-minute-ful-499199366)? It’s a pretty good way to work your muscles that’s devoid of most of the “fear” of hurting yourself with weights and can be done in your own home.

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      May 15, 2013 at 9:49 pm

      First, thank you for being so freaking helpful and kind. Second, I can do anything for 7 minutes, so I’ll be checking out that link you posted.

      I know the “everyone is staring at me” is totally all in my head. Logically, rationally, I know that. I hate that this is something that is so daunting for me, particularly since I’m not really the kind of person who backs away from a challenge.

      This really is becoming a habit. I get sad when I can’t go or when a session is interrupted. I know that this is a good thing for me as the point was to want to be there. So, there’s a baby step.

      Reply
  6. Ann @ Such a Mama says

    May 15, 2013 at 2:51 pm

    I know these weeks, all too well. If it is any help, you inspired me to get back on the bandwagon! I am day 3 of no carbs! My husband and I had both gone no/low carb after my son was born and I lost a ton of weight. When I got pregnant again, I needed to eat crackers… and ice cream… and then I was bfing and could eat a horse at every meal. I am counting down the days until I stop pumping at work and that will be a big impact on my body. So here we go!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      May 15, 2013 at 9:47 pm

      See, I’m also still breastfeeding, less now than even 6 months ago, but still. Emma nurses probably 5 times a day. I am hungry all.the.time. right now. And not for healthy things.

      Good for you for hopping back on the bandwagon!! I can’t wait to see what kind of changes you see in the coming weeks!

      Reply
  7. Alena says

    May 15, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    You have to keep in mine, you’ll see results from last week next week. It isn’t instant. It takes time for your body to adjust, especially where exercise is involved! Just keep going! If you are doing right, and eating right, and eating less calories…you will see results!

    Reply
    • Miranda says

      May 15, 2013 at 9:45 pm

      Oh, I’ll keep going. I feel better when I work out, so I know it’s doing good things for me. I just wish I weren’t starving right now while my body gets used to not being full of crap all the time.

      Reply
  8. Julia says

    May 16, 2013 at 11:11 am

    Frustrating! Sounds like you are a member of LA Fitness (not a stalker, also in Atlanta). Most have first time personal training intro sessions as a teaser to get you so sign up for more for free. A lot of times, you get one a year. I wish I could give you mine! If you are LAF, and want a few pointers, I’m by no means an expert but would help you out! Keep going. This is when it gets serious- the quick drops are had and the nitty gritty sets in. You can do it! Keep going! Staying the same isn’t backwards!

    Reply

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