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Saying “Yes” To Myself

April 4, 2013 by Miranda Leave a Comment

One of my 31 for 31 items is to say “yes” more often. Recently, I’ve decided to start saying “yes” to myself. To make myself a priority in my own life.

I hired a nanny. For one afternoon a week.

Just one afternoon, for two or three hours, to recharge my batteries and be alone. Except in public, so not alone.

Whatever. No one’s touching me.

Until recently, like maybe just in the past couple of months, Emma has screamed any time anyone so much as looked at her. The grocery store, the doctor’s office, Target. If they looked at her, she would scream like she was being abducted by aliens who planned to do tests on her cute little baby toes. And they are adorable so I can totally see why aliens would want them.

And then I noticed that she was screaming less and looking more.

And then I noticed that when we picked Joshua up from school, she wanted to get down and run away from me.

Seriously. I would go toward her and she would turn and go in the other direction.

It was like her little baby way of saying “Hey, Mom. You know? I think you’re awesome. But so is the world. I’ve got this. Now scoot.”

So I called up a former student who had offered up her services as a sitter and basically shouted “YOU’RE HIRED!” the minute Emma didn’t scream at her.

Well, okay. No. I sort of eased Emma into it.

I had the sitter come over for a full day with me there so Emma could get used to another person in the house. And so I could clean without Emma coming behind me and destroying my work. It was glorious.

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And then Dan and I went on a date and had a real meal with no children nagging us for whatever it is they would nag for at dinner. That was also glorious.

The kids love her. I love her. This is awesome.

Anyway.

I’m quick to put myself on the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to whose needs get met in a given day. I don’t think or believe that moms are supposed to do that, but it’s something that I’ve sort of fallen into.

I think it goes back to when I was working and felt horrible missing so much time with Joshua. I never wanted to really go and do anything on my own because I felt like I was already missing so much. I put spending time with him above spending time with me. And when Emma came along, I put spending time with her above spending time with me, too.

But that was all at the cost of my own sanity. Or, maybe not sanity. But I was suffering from some burn-out.

I love my kids. I love me, too.

Self-care is important. I’ve advised it to many a PPD mom without actually putting it into practice for myself.

Not anymore.

I’m not cheating myself out of self-care by pretending that a glass of wine while I work in the evenings is me taking care of me because it’s not an acceptable substitute for the peace and solitude that comes with being surrounded by strangers in a Starbucks.

This is what self-care looks like.

self care at Starbucks

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: confessions, happy is what happens, it is well with my soul, life is good, mom guilt, mommyhood, responsibility

Previous Post: « Emotional Minefields
Next Post: Serendipity »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Jaime says

    April 4, 2013 at 8:23 pm

    Good for you! I definitely need to start taking more “me” time. Target all alone would be like a Caribbean vacation to me.

    Reply
  2. Lindsey, the Redhead Baby Mama says

    April 4, 2013 at 8:26 pm

    So proud – GOOD!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  3. Jennifer @ Also Known As...the Wife says

    April 4, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    I’m so proud of you! Everyone needs “me” time.

    Reply
  4. Jennifer | The Deliberate Mom says

    April 5, 2013 at 11:14 am

    That self-care is so important. Good for you! You deserve it!

    Wishing you a lovely weekend!
    xoxo

    Reply
  5. Tottums says

    April 5, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    I just want you to know, this post made me click ‘purchase’ on the cartload of goodies waiting for me at gap.com. Time to do something for ME.

    Thank you.

    Reply
  6. Julie S. says

    April 8, 2013 at 8:58 am

    Love this– it is HARD for me to say YES for myself, but I MUST more often.

    Reply
  7. John (Daddy Runs a Lot) says

    April 8, 2013 at 11:17 am

    The other day, I was just thinking “one day — one day where someone doesn’t use me as a climbing wall, that’s all I need.”

    Good for you for doing something for yourself. Good for you.

    Reply
  8. Rachel @ The House of Burks says

    April 9, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    I think this is fantastic. I have to have some me time or I will lose it. Currently I play tennis twice a week, and I’m going on a girls trip at the end of this month, which will be the first time I’ve been away from my whole family since the kids came along. I can’t wait!

    Reply
  9. Wanda Mae says

    April 11, 2013 at 1:41 pm

    yay for you!
    It’ll be great to see how this small (big) change will affect things for you. You should revisit this in a few months with an update post similar to those who blog about weight loss and the like.
    LUFF!

    Reply
  10. The Many Thoughts of a Reader says

    April 12, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    Yay! I’m glad this is working out!

    Reply

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