If you follow me on Twitter, you know that yesterday got off to a rough start. I was touched out before 9:00 a.m. thanks to a teething baby who wouldn’t take a nap and a preschooler who wanted ALL THE THINGS. And when I finally got her to sleep and took a shower, Joshua woke her up because he HAD to play blocks when he almost never plays blocks.
(Why do they pick the noisy toys when you need them to be quiet and the quiet toys when it’s okay to be noisy? What kind of law is that, Murphy?)
It was one of those mornings where I wanted to just run away screaming and never look back. At least for a few hours.
So, to get out of the house, we went to Target. At the very least, it would just be a change of scenery. And then, while in a drive-thru picking up lunch, I saw this:
It’s like the Universe knew what I needed to see and showed it to me. Right on time. Like all the “life lessons” the Universe teaches.
I started thinking about all the things in my life for which I am grateful.
My family is healthy. We have a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. We both have jobs, one of which allows me to work part-time from home. We have…we have…we have…
It all felt so trite. So Have vs. Have-not. I mean, I’m grateful for all of those things, yes. But if those are the things I’m grateful for, that means I’m grateful for having them because someone else doesn’t have them. Which just made me feel worse instead of better.
So while I waited to place my order and waffled between a cheeseburger or a chicken sandwich, I thought a little harder.
I replayed our trip through Target. I smiled at the conversation I’d had with a former student about the night’s football game and how he was happy for me in my new adventure outside the classroom. I felt the weight of Emma asleep on my chest in the sling. I felt Joshua’s small hand in mine as we walked across the parking lot. I envisioned Emma’s gummy smile. I heard Joshua say “Mama! Wook at dis! I can get dis tomorrow!”
I grew lighter and happier with every image and feeling that flashed across my heart. I’d done it. I’d pushed the reset button on our day. I was grateful for that car and its bumper sticker.
I’m grateful for do-overs.
I’m grateful that even when we have a bad morning, or a bad day, there is grace for better moments.
There is always grace.