Please allow me to be a rebel and break some rules, y’all. I need to blog about blogging. Specifically this blog. Because writing commentary about anyone else’s would be in bad taste.
Basically, I need to say that this is hard.
Sometimes, really hard.
Before going to BlogHer last year, I thought I was on the verge of something big. Huge. I didn’t know what that something was, but I felt it. I knew that greatness was out there, waiting for me. I was incredibly hopeful for the “next step.” Whatever that next step was supposed to be.
And then I found out I was Surprise Pregnant and got all locked up inside my own mind for a time and weeks would go by before I’d open the dashboard and sit down to clickety-clack on my keyboard and talk to y’all. All of my hope was…gone? Dormant? Buried under a metric ton of FREAKING THE FREAK OUT.
This year, I went to BlogHer with virtually no expectations for my blog. I really went to see my people and New York City and if I learned a thing or two, cool. And now I’ve been home for almost a month and what I realized I learned is that I want to take this seriously. And I want to be taken seriously.
The trouble is I don’t know how and I’m finding out that there’s a whole lot I don’t know about this blogging thing that I thought I knew. But beyond that, I want this place to grow and I don’t know how to make that happen.
I want people to read what I have to write here on this blog of mine.
It feels…wrong…somehow to admit that, but I have a desire to have people read my words. But I do.
But I don’t want people–my community–y’all–to think I’ve somehow sold myself out to grow in this space. But I feel like I need to grow. I need to challenge myself to be better. To see what I can be.
I want to tell stories here. I want to get up on my soap box here. I want to use my voice for good here.
I want to share my life here.
And the word “share” means that there are two (or more) parties involved. If I’m sharing, someone’s receiving, right?
Here I am. Where are you?
I want to grow this blog without losing my readers. Is that even possible?