Dear Dan

Dear Dan,

I’ve opened and closed this dashboard no less than 4 times already this morning. In the midst of the chaos and stress and cranky of the morning, this is the one thing I wanted to do, and it took you taking Joshua to the playground and me rocking Emma until she and I had both fallen asleep and I’d woken myself up snoring three times to get it done. And now she’s awake again and I’ve just decided to hold her and type this because this is our life now. I probably should’ve done this yesterday, but you know me well enough to know that ahead-of-time just isn’t my style.

Today is our anniversary. Six years, babe.

I picked a good partner when I picked you.

I knew you were “the one” when Satan Cat broke his leg and you, you who hated cats, took care of him for me. Any man who could show that kind of compassion to an animal who probably plotted to kill us in our sleep was a keeper.

You are the calm in my storms.

There’s this way you have of not freaking out at exactly the moment I expect you to freak out. Like the time I forgot to pay the water bill and we had to buy gallon jugs of water to flush the toilet. Or how you’ve stood by me during bouts of depression both before and after Joshua’s birth. I know you didn’t always understand it, and maybe still don’t. But I love that you’re there. And while we’re talking calm and storms, let’s not forget the time I surprised you with a pee stick and you high-fived me.

You are a wonderful father to our children.

I remember laying down in the bed the night we brought Emma home from the hospital and feeling so connected to you. Even though the beginning of our life with Joshua was incredibly chaotic, I felt the same connection then. I felt your love for me through your love for them. And oh, my, your love for these children is apparent. They may drive us crazy sometimes, but it’s so incredibly clear how much you love them. Thank you for loving them.

You are our provider.

This new journey we’re embarking upon? The one where I stay home and do the home things? It wouldn’t be possible if you weren’t so dedicated to your job and making a life for us happen. I know that you work long hours and there are times when I complain about it, but I am so incredibly thankful that you are willing to work those long hours to make this life work. I am so incredibly thankful to know that even if it meant mowing yards for a living, a chore I know you despise, you would do it to make sure we were taken care of.

You are my best friend.

It often feels very isolated where we live. Our friends are flung far and wide away from us. But I have you. Deep down I know that no matter how hard the topic is to talk about, I can talk about it. I’m glad I have you. Know that you have me, too.

Six years. Two kids. A dog. And all these memories of ours.

In some ways it seems like it was just yesterday that our life together began. In other ways it seems like we’ve been together for much longer. I’m always surprised to find that even though we know so much about each other there is still more to know.

I hope there is always more to know.

Love you,

Me